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Being "Skinny"

Forum: 2008 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By happyhme44

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August 28th, 2013, 10:37 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I was stunned and almost shocked when Ellie told me she wants to be "skinny" when she gets bigger. This has happened twice in the last few weeks.
I am small in size but definitely not twiggy. I don't talk about wanting to lose weight or how unhappy I am with my body. I think most of us wish/want to be a bit smaller, firmer, sexier but I have never stressed about what I am NOT. I'm content with who I am.

So needless to say, when she said this I know it didn't come from me. I asked who talks about being skinny. She shyly said "no one, I just don't want to be fat!"
I asked again but in a different way and she still wouldn't say. I didn't want to press the issue so I moved on to some other topic. The next time I just told her being skinny wasn't important. What we should want to be is healthy by eating good foods and being active. And there is nothing wrong with someone for being chubby.

Is this a normal thing for a 5 yr old?
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August 29th, 2013, 05:37 AM
ethansmom0408's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Aww I wonder where she heard that. Ethan thinks that saying somebody is chubby or fat is a bad word. I hope she grows out of that. She is far from being chubby. She's a tiny girl.
Thank you Claire1979!

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August 29th, 2013, 06:11 AM
youngwoman's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Oh, this makes me sad. I think you handled it really, really well by emphasizing health over size. I hope you're able to figure out where she heard these things, so you can address the source, because at 5 years old, I would hope the only concern relating to body size would be how tall they are to ride something at an amusement park.
Thanks to Kiliki for my super cute siggy!

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August 29th, 2013, 12:59 PM
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I totally agree about stressing "healthy". I think everything my girls have said that I haven't taught them came from school. And more specifically, from "other kids" at school. I think you handled it well. Veronika has said some stuff before that made me wonder about her friends' parents.. But the only time she was "mad" at her height was at amusement parks (like Amanda said), and "mad" at her weight was about carseat issues (she wants to ride a booster like her sister). Just keep doing what you're doing - most important lessons are learned at home.
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August 29th, 2013, 03:07 PM
SheilaRN's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I might mention something to our daycare provider. I don't want to make a big issue of it but feel it is worth talking about.
Just the thought of a 5 yr old thinking about her weight scares me. I have had friends with weight issues and know how devastating it can be.
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August 29th, 2013, 06:25 PM
MommyToCooper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Great job in the way you handled it. I would likely say something casually to the school as well.

Cooper has made comments to me before like "mommy, you run so you don't get fat, right?" Even though he's not a girl (who is more likely to have body image issues) I told him that I run and work out to be healthy and fit. I think it's an important lesson for both genders that size doesn't matter and you can be fat and fit or skinny and unhealthy.

Unfortunately they're at the age they are going to hear more from there peers. I wish it wasn't an issue that we even had to address as parents.
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September 11th, 2013, 02:52 PM
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I remember talking to my girls about healthy being more important than size. So it has come up here, but they moved on thankfully. My big concern now is how interested in boys they seem to be. Every year they have a boyfriend.
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September 12th, 2013, 02:58 PM
happyhme44's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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We had some issues at Kate's VPK about what the teachers were talking about while the kids were around. Apparently my kid is the only one that listens to EVERY word and then internalizes it and worries about it. She began having nightmares and crying a lot telling me she was worried about dying. Her teachers brother was dying of cancer and she was discussing it in depth while around the kids. I about freaked out considering Kate's dad almost passed away from cancer as well. We were lucky he woke up so of course she would sensitive to any discussions like this. The owner had a meeting with all the teachers about watching what they say to each other while the kids are around. I had watched them talk and they talk about all kinds of adult issues around the kids. Honestly I am thankful she no longer has that teacher at that school. I might dislike the curriculum in kinder, but I LOVE her teacher. She truly is professional and caring.
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