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Forum: 2009 Playroom


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September 12th, 2011, 06:19 PM
*Candi*'s Avatar Candi
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 8,645
Whats working for you? What's not?

I have to say that any sort of time outs, spanking ect isnt doing a thing here. The only thing that DOES seem to be working is extreme positive re-inforcement. If I am heavy on the praise Hunter really focuses on that and will repeat his behaviours. But if I use time out or anything else for behaviour I dont like he just does it again and again. At the moment I am trying to either ignore any bad behaviour and trying to find something he is doing well right afterwards to make a big fuss, or I say mommy doenst like __________ and I leave the room, which seems to bother him more than time outs.

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September 12th, 2011, 06:50 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 7,051
I'm so bad at disciplining my daughter. She knows what the "house rules" are, but she breaks them anyway. But most of the time, it's because her brother is bothering her. Like she knows she's not supposed to throw fits, but she doesn't know what else to do when her brother takes her toys right out of her hands or tries to force her to play some made up game in a specific way.

I don't know what it is with Hunter, but with my daughter her problem is that I haven't really sat down and shown her an appropriate way to deal with her frustrations. Most of her misbehavior is because she's frustrated (at her brother, at being told "no" by mom, at being given food she doesn't want to eat, etc).

If that's what Hunter is doing, it does get better. As they get more verbal and better at appropriate emotional responses they are less likely to throw things, scream, hit, bite, etc.

Now if he's doing things that he knows are "wrong" like playing with your phone when you've told him 65,431 times that he can't touch it, I would say that is willful disobedience and deserves some kind of punishment. What punishment he gets would really depend on what he'll respond to. At this age it's hard to come up with appropriate punishments because they have to be immediate for them to understand that it is related to what they did. So you couldn't withhold ice cream after dinner for something he did that morning--he wouldn't understand why he wasn't getting to eat ice cream.
Mama to an elementary school boy, kindergarten girl, and my miracle toddler girl.
Three 10w losses (11/2010 + 8/2011 + 10/2014)
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September 12th, 2011, 07:39 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 6,398
We do positive reinforcement, which works very well. They love being told they are good boys. But,we also do time outs, which they do not like and I spank them a bit from time to time if all else fails. At this stage it's only starting to barely sink in. Rough times, rough times...

Thank you to *Kiliki* for creating the perfect siggy!

"Victory is sweetest when you have known defeat" ~Malcolm Forbes

IUI #1 - Nov 07 = BFN, IUI #2 - Dec 07 = BFN
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Dec 15 - 1st U/S - We're having twins!!!
Dec 23 - 2nd U/S - Surprise it's triplets!!!
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September 12th, 2011, 08:05 PM
tiffany&co.'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 6,849
Nothing really works with Ella either! She is so different from her brother. I just try to keep her busy and distracted with positive things.

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September 13th, 2011, 10:49 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 5,298
For the most part Martin is really good. Rarely do I need to do more than ask him to stop or remove him from the situation with a stern "no" and he gets it. For a while I would say "Do you want cribby?" (time-out in crib) and he'd say "no" and that worked.

BUT that's at home. Going anywhere in public is another story and one I have yet to master!
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September 13th, 2011, 07:27 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Maryland
Posts: 20,233
We do a combination of positive reinforcement and reminder and try not to do much scolding. Like if she tries to climb on the counter we tell her no, she could fall down and get a booboo. If she uses her potty seat or picks up her toys we praise her until she looks at us like crazy people. Scolding is more when she shocks me and I slip. Like when she shoved Sarah off of the couch yesterday.
~Thanks Babydoll213 for my awesome siggie!~

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