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so annoyed with DH- yes this is a vent-

Forum: 2010 Playroom


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January 23rd, 2010, 09:25 PM
peaches84's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 890
the situation with us is my DH works out of town and is gone from monday morning to thursday night. well I work every third weekend and my family comes up to stay with us on a lot of the other weekends to go to hockey games, if it isn't that DH makes plans with his dad (whole other story)

well this weekend we had nothing planned, I was so excited so we planned to go ice fishing for thursday night and friday which is about an hour and a half out of town and then come home and just spend the weekend here, I emphasized that we needed to spend some time together alone. then a storm got forecasted for the weekend and we were supposed to get a foot of snow. so we decided to skip that and just stay in town and spend some time together since we never see each other. well this morning I wake up at 6:30 and my DH is up which is very odd so I got up while he was in the shower and then he got dressed and kissed me goodbye and left. well he left to go snowmobiling with his dad which he had to drive an hour in an ICE storm which is the whole reason we decided to stay home.

well it's now 10:20 at night and he still isn't home... he's about 15 minutes away but i'm so annoyed.

I can't decide if i'm more hurt or mad that he can't spend a whole weekend with me or even talk with me about his plans of leaving to do this.

anyway i'm just really annoyed and thought I would share, am I being unreasonable? oh and by the way this isn't a once in a while thing he does this often, so it's not like he doesn't get to enjoy his hobbies.

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January 23rd, 2010, 09:33 PM
palmetto_moon's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 4,663
No you are not at all unreasonable and you should talk to him so that you are on the same page for when the baby comes. Beleive me, as much of an issue as it is right now- it will become even bigger when baby is born if you don't establish some guidelines now.
There is certainaly nothing wrong with DH enjoying a hobby but it shouldn't be at the expense of spending quality time together as a couple. And not even telling you about the plans and you having to find out when you wake up and he's in the process of getting ready is not nice either. Hope you can talk about it when he gets home and see what you can work out. Sorry you are feeling hurt. I'm sure that wasn't what your hubby intended. Try to talk it out and come up with a compromise. Good luck!

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January 23rd, 2010, 11:40 PM
ChrissySTL's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,729
I do not think you are being unreasonable at all! I would be totally annoyed with this situation if I were in your shoes. He shouldn't have made plans with his dad after you two decided to cancel your plans together because of weather, especially since you had planned to spend a weekend just you two hanging out. My husband does stuff like this sometimes and I get really annoyed as well, I completely understand where you are coming from. My advice is talk to him about how it made you feel when you are in a state where you won't get upset/angry. If you approach it in a calm manner and explain to him that you are hurt and don't understand his thought process/etc. he will probably take it a lot better instead of getting defensive, which sometimes happens.

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January 24th, 2010, 07:38 AM
~ Christine ~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 5,223
You are not being unreasonable at all. I would kill DH if he spent the whole day apart from me without even discussing it with me. That's just inconsiderate especially after you cancelled your plans because of the weather!

Forever missing our angel 8.31.07

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January 24th, 2010, 08:20 AM
fibigrey's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Upstate, NY
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I don't think you're being unreasonable, thats crappy of him I would be just as annoyed if i were in your position too.. Pretty soon you guys are going to have a baby thats takes all your time, and it will be harder than ever to find quiet time together, alone...

I would talk to him seriously about it and tell him how you feel, if you havn't already that is..

good luck, and try not to let it get the best of you, although its got to be hard.
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January 25th, 2010, 10:23 AM
*Ashley*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 6,755
Not unreasonable at all. DH can be the same way. In fact, we just had a knock down drag out argument (Ok not that bad) about this and many other topics. I told him basically that if I was going to be a single parent like I already feel then we might as well get a divorce.

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