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Forum: 2010 Playroom


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April 2nd, 2010, 03:32 PM
Meggie26's Avatar Megan
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 4,012
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Has anyone ever let adoption cross their mind during any one pregnancy? Maybe not necessarily this particular pregnancy but any in the past? Has anyone ever gone through with an adoption? Not adopting, but putting baby up fro adoption?

As of right now, things are not good at all for myself and my daughter. I'm still unemployed and not having any luck at all finding a job. My power bill is so high it is going to be disconnected April 8th, following that will be my internet. I no longer have a car because it blew up. These are just a few things that I can even think of that is making me go crazy. I can hardly afford to provide for myself, let alone my daughter and to think I'm bringing another baby into this world in just a few short months.

I always just wonder if I would make the right decision by putting baby Pickle up for adoption but then there is a part of me that says absolutely NOT!

I've struggled the last two years raising my daughter and rarely have asked for help with her. Now that I really indefinitely need the help, it is no where to be found.

Its just way too much to type out.

Any thoughts and feelings, suggestions, words of wisdom? Any and all is appreciated.

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April 2nd, 2010, 03:38 PM
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: UK
Posts: 3,921
I haven't personally, but then I've never had an unwanted pregnancy.
Financial issues.. hmm, I always think you can work through things somehow and get by. DF and I came from nothing, and through having DS I think it put us into gear, and now we do ok for ourselves. I wouldn't say we can "afford" another child, but if we wait until it's financially suitable, we could well be waiting forever.
I know when it comes to the life of a child, you can't just put it down to chance and hope things will be ok, and if you truly think the life of your child could possibly be poor, then it sounds like something you need to think about.... just, don't make any rash decisions honey.
I have no idea of your situation - partner/single, planned/unplanned.. and I'm sorry I have no real advice.

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April 2nd, 2010, 03:42 PM
Posts: n/a
I cannot even imagine what you must be feeling.

But coming from someone who is in the PROCESS of adopting a baby after years of infertility, I can tell you that adoption is such a blessing for couples like me and DH.

I have a couple of cousins who were adopted and all of them are thankful to their BMs for giving them up for adoption. They know and understand that it is because their mothers loved them so much that they made the decision to place them with a family that could more effectively meet their needs.

I can't imagine how tough of a decision that would be for you.....I pray that God gives you the strength to make the decision that is best for you and your baby
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April 2nd, 2010, 03:48 PM
VeronicaBride's Avatar Jen
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 6,122
I have never thought of it myself but certainly can't say that I wouldn't if I were in your situation. I do think you really need to think about this from all sides before you make a decision. It definitely shouldnt be something you come to quickly. If it is mostly financial, I would look into all other options of ways to save money and ways to bring more money in before I gave my child away. That's just me though. And you also need to consider if this is something you could live with down the road without too many regrets. But if you think it all through, and think it truly is better for this baby to go to a family that you think can provide more that you will be capable of, I think that is amazing too. There are many wonderful people out there that would be amazing parents to your little one. We will be here to support you no matter what.

Good Luck with your decision and (((HUGS)))

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April 2nd, 2010, 03:49 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
OH, Sweetie! I can't advise on this end, but I want you to know that we're here for you. There may be a support board out there, too, that can help muck through some of these immediate issues and get things rolling to a better place. There may be a support group in your community or through a church that could help. Before you make any decision on the subject, I would certainly exhaust all options to see if there is anything in your area to help. Sometimes, they are hard to find, but most of the time, they are non-profit organizations and places like churces or pregnancy centers may have their names or information you need.

Don't give up yet. I know finances are a tough challenge, but there may be other options to help. Sometimes, you have to ask for help in order to pull yourself up. When you are able, you can be the one helping someone else out. Pay it forward goes a long way, and people know this. ((HUGS))
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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April 2nd, 2010, 04:23 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
When I became pregnant with my first child, even though I had a very good job. I was not in a stable relationship. Her father and I made every decision along the way. Most people get pregnant and everything just flows forward. With her we purposely decided not to have an abortion, we later decided to keep her and in the end he decided to be a part of her life.

We never got far in our investigation of adoption, however we did look at parent profiles on line and there were some beautiful situations to choose from. I do not regret keeping her however I feel good that her father and I actually discussed and made choices along the way. By the time she was born we were commited to her and sure of our minds and intent.
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April 2nd, 2010, 04:42 PM
Posts: n/a
You have to make the best decision for yourself. I have a woman at work who adopted a child from a 27 yr old woman who was single raising twins and an older girl and she just couldn't take care of another baby. She did an open adoption and always gets photos to her of the baby. I think everyone has to make hard decisions and I see it as this, it is difficult and if you do give it up for adoption there are ways for you to still be in their life, its not like you're cutting yourself if you want.

Whether you decide to keep it or not, its going to be hard. Even when you give it up for adoption you have 10 days to change your mind. I just think you need to think what is best for you.

I wish you the best in whatever you decide.
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April 2nd, 2010, 04:57 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
I have not ever considered it, but our pregnancies were thoroughly planned and our lives were stable.

I'm sorry you are struggling with knowing what to do. It must be heart wrenching. Do you have family or friends that could help you out for a bit? Is your daughter's father supporting her? I would see if you could get some help from local churches, you don't necessarily need to be a member for them to help you. I see you are located in IL, so am I. What kind of job are you looking for? Have you applied for the various forms of social aid? Sorry to bombard you with questions, just trying to throw out other ideas.

Adoption is a beautiful thing. There are many people out there desperate to be parents, but are unable to conceive on their own. Placing your child up for adoption doesn't mean you don'tove your baby, in fact, it means you love them so much that you want the very best for them. It isn't an easy decision, but we are hear to listen if you need to talk about it more.
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