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So depressing

Forum: 2010 Playroom


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November 17th, 2010, 10:41 PM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
Well, ladies...

I don't complain much, but I have to vent somewhere...

I used to be a 6/8, at 156 pounds. It was HARD to maintain (1200 cals, 2 hour practice in the a.m. and 2 hour practice in the p.m.) My metabolism is REALLY slow naturally, and I have slight hypothyroidism, so those are stacked against me.

Anyway. I'm now a size 20 It really sucks. I don't feel worthy of my beautiful DH any more. I'm embarrassed for my looks and I am so disgusted with myself.

Anyway, I weigh 262 now. Yes. That's a 2!!! I can't believe it and I can NOT say it out loud. I know how I got here, but that's a WHOLE other story.

I have been STUCK here for 3 freaking weeks. I've counted calories and limited myself to about 1900 per day (it's not every day, because I don't want to "diet" but eat better portions and choices, but on avg...) and work out 5x/week for about 1/2 hour (that's all I can get!). I am still freaking at this weight. This is not right. My knees are killing me. My energy is non-existent. It's a vicious cycle.

I don't eat donuts, ice cream, candy, none of that. We don't have it here. #$%^ You'd think, to be at this weight, you'd get at least a little fun in eating something just devilish. I almost want to fold and say screw this... go get a cheesecake and dive in (well, for a good size piece, anyway...)

Just needed to vent. I have had a trainer in my corner for a month now and she's a great help, but ***?

Sigh. So, we just keep going, I guess.
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
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November 17th, 2010, 11:06 PM
Wifey2Jordan's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: California
Posts: 7,100
I'm so sorry you are dealing with this too. It SUCKS. I feel the same way. I can't stand to look at myself in the mirror, I HATE not having clothes on, because I can actually feel bulges on my body that disgust me. Last I got on the scale, I was 187 (but i'm only 5'6) I'm afraid to get on the scale now, because I honestly feel like i've gained. Breastfeeding is sooo hard on me. I love it, and I take pride in knowing i'm doing something good for my baby, but I just wish my body would get the memo that I can make milk without hanging onto all this extra chub. It sucks!!!

Hang in there, and maybe your weight will just suddenly start falling off. It sounds like your doing everything right.
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November 18th, 2010, 05:48 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
Add me to the list. I'm right at 190, give or take a lb depending on the day. With each kid it has been the same-I hold onto every freaking lb until I stop BFing. I know part of it is I am so hungry all the time and I don't always make good choices, but it is hard to stay focused when you do try and you don't see results. I did 3 runs/walks last week and my supply took a nose dive, so this week I haven't ran/walked other than taking my oldest to school and the supply is great again.

I had to go get some clothes for Teresa's Baptism and our family Christmas pics andit was no fun whatsoever! In fact it was pretty miserable.
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November 18th, 2010, 05:52 AM
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 3,570
I'm sorry! It stinks when you work so hard and expect to see results that don't show themselves.
I recommend you NOT weigh yourself for a few weeks. Keep up your program and try to relax. Try to focus on being healthy as "you" time and just concentrate on being a healthier person.
Stress can make the pounds hang onto you instead falling off.
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November 18th, 2010, 08:18 AM
Shawnda's Avatar Mommy of four
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 788
Aww Gwynne, I feel your pain in fact I know a lot of us do.
I haven't started working out yet since having Juliette and I won't be starting until around January. I just can't see me making any progress during the Holiday season....so what's the point
I really did have good intentions to take the weight off right away but it just hasn't happened. You want to know the sad truth, my weight is actually still around from my second pregnancy. I gained 55 pounds from that pregnancy Then with my third and pregnancy with Juliette I never really gained any leftover weight...thank god! So here I am still trying to lose weight gained from nearly seven years ago
We can all do this, it is just going to take some time
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November 19th, 2010, 09:25 AM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
it is very frusterating...When you look at the scale and it is not moving . I have been fighting cravings and working out......only to sit at the same weight for over 2 weeks.

I stick with it ( losing alot of my drive ) and finally this morning step on the scale 1 lb down again

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November 19th, 2010, 03:03 PM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 18,623
i hit a super long palute too (that was a few weeks even tho i was eating 1200 calories - it was soooooooooooooo frustrating) BUT it did finally move and although it's been slow progress it is moving. You'll get there ... just keep what you're doing! (((HUGS))) I'm sorry you're so frustrated and feel so yucky. Ditto on not looking at the scale - we tend to focus on a number so much and feel like it's a number that will make us feel healthy and relaxed and better ... but the truth is with your life, what you do and eat, your stress level that will make you FEEL healthy and healthy makes you feel more confident and beautiful. Do things for yourself that make your body and your spirit happy. And remember it takes time to gain weight - it takes time to take it off. EVERY body is different and no matter your size with your attitude you CAN rock that body. Dress it well, feed it well, do things to appreciate it stretch and relax).

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November 21st, 2010, 12:55 PM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,202
9 months on...9 month off.

Let that be your motto!
I have started using the LoseIt app and found recording my food that was is VERY motivating. I even sit down and figure up all our homemade meals (which is 5-6 nights a week). I also decided NOT to weigh myself everyday. It was making me super upset. So I am only weighing myself once a week now and just keeping at it.

I know it is so much easier said than done, but don't worry about that stupid number. Focus on getting your body, heart, mind healthy to be the best momma and wife you can be. And talk to your DH about this. It just breaks my heart that you are thinking you are not worthy enough for him. Darlin, I am sure he would disagree to high heaven. You gave him 2 amazing beautiful perfect children. Even if you aren't happy with where your body is right now, doesn't mean he has even thought about it. He loves you for you.

9 months on...9 months off.
Thank you Alethia for my awesome siggy!

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