Log In Sign Up

How did you know?

Forum: 2010 Playroom


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To 2010 Playroom LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
November 22nd, 2011, 01:40 PM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,202
If you are "finished" having kids, how did you know you were done? Hubs has an appointment for the BIG V next month, but I have started getting cold feet. (I really wanted to say cold ovaries or something clever like that, but then realized I am not that clever.)
Anyway, I know the reasons we are done. I can recite them to you. I can say them in my sleep. I agree with all of them. But the closer we get to the appt date, the more I think...Do I really want to make this permanent?
So, if you are done, how did you know for sure with 100% certainty you were done?
Thank you Alethia for my awesome siggy!

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 01:59 PM
KimberlyAnn327's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,945
I don't know how to describe it other than I just feel done. I have no desire for any more children. I was actually feeling that way after Rayne but I worried about regretting it later which is why I am now pregnant again. But for sure, these are our last. The only reason I worried about regretting it is that we always talked about having 6 kids. If I have a c-section, I will be having my tubes tied at that time as well. If they are born vaginally, dh will be getting the big V.

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 02:02 PM
MonkeyBugMommy's Avatar Brooke
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Augusta, GA
Posts: 4,428
Send a message via Yahoo to MonkeyBugMommy
I can't answer this because I only know 100% that I am NOT done! I'm kind of worried that I will never feel done.. I'm hoping to feel complete after the next one or two, but I'm worried that I won't and that it won't be healthy for me to continue to have more children even though I feel like I want more.
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 03:43 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 32,940
MOST of the time, I feel done and I know he feels even more done than I do. BUT, I could never do something permanent.

That probably doesn't help any, sorry.
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 04:23 PM
WomanInTheMoon's Avatar Courtney
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Ga
Posts: 1,452
I like how the size of our family feels. It feels like everyone is getting the attention they need. I can't imagine having to split my time and attention any more

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 04:27 PM
mt23hc's Avatar Melissa
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Andrews Air Force Base, MD
Posts: 9,684
Send a message via AIM to mt23hc
Actually, I don't know. I *have* to be done medically. I almost died during Hayden's birth, then Cohen being a preemie, my body just doesn't do pregnancy...BUT...each month I pray that AF doesn't come DH has a V so it's nearly impossible but I am sad to think of never having another baby, especially when I want a little girl SO bad!
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 04:49 PM
Happy Song's Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 11,023
I am with Brooke wondering if I'll ever feel done.

But when everything is said and done are you going to regret having had another baby or regret not having had that baby?

Me personally I am glad that back in the day it took my parents a long time to get in for my mom's tubal and they had that surprise fourth child that they were not planning... ie ME!
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 05:40 PM
irish luck's Avatar *Callie*
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 5,843
honestly we are done... but I am currently (for the last 2 weeks) i have been obessing about having another, even at work today they were joking about me being prego again (long funny story) but inside all i felt was I wish I was.... but i know I am done..... mentally atleast, def not emotionally

we are leaving the door open at this point... nothing perm.

When I finished Gavins blanket (the letters) i had enough left for another blanket.... I asked Rob if i should keep it incase i have to make another blanket for our 3rd baby.... he said, I would keep it..... not helping me know I am done

all that being said doesn't really help you at all.... other than you are totally not alone

THANK YOU Jaidynsmum

Gavin Betsy
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 06:53 PM
KimberlyAnn327's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,945
Honestly, I wondered if I'd ever have that feeling of being done. Now I do. I am at peace about it and will have no regrets. 7 is already more than I bargained for so yes, totally done. I'm very much looking forward to not having any more babies and then toddlers and being totally done with diapers. I think I will have a party when we're done with diapers. I've been changing diapers for 10 years now. I had a small break after Krysta was potty trained before Asher was born but pretty much 10 years and I still have at least a few more years to go. You all are invited to my "We're done with diapers!" party.

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 07:19 PM
TanyaMM's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 1,218
I am no help either. I don't think I will ever put myself into a permanent "done" situation until I'm in my late 30's. I myself just don't want to have any regrets and I think I would regret a permanent done more than an oops baby. Again ... I'm probably not helping you. I am still thinking of maybe a third and maybe after that baby I will have that done feeling.

Thank you GraysMama for the awesome Siggy

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 07:58 PM
ardisbaby's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Folly Beach, SC
Posts: 1,882
For us I don't know if I'll ever feel certain!

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 08:07 PM
Countrymom4's Avatar Chrystal
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 3,639
Sorry no help either, We are not doing anything permenant. I am slowly getting to the mind of being done( a couple months ago I was so not done!!)But I am getting to see the benifits of no more babys!

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 08:55 PM
AtomicMama's Avatar CopperBoom!
Join Date: May 2008
Location: MI
Posts: 14,754
No advice, Amanda, just want to offer lots of hugs I'm sure it's such a difficult and personal decision!
Amy: Wife to my Handsome Husband Mommy to my superhero, Max (3) and Luckiest Bonus Mama to Sammy (5)

Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 09:11 PM
LifenTheFastLane's Avatar Mommy 2 Rhys~Rhylee~Jessa
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,650
Dh had the big v as well earlier this year. I knew I was done because for me personally I feel 3 kids "for me" is pushing my limits a bit. I want to be sure I am able to give them enough one on one attention as well as thinking about the future.. Example 3 kids is going to be very expensive to put through college and I want to be able to travel when there older so I am done.
Reply With Quote
November 22nd, 2011, 11:42 PM
BAM's Avatar
BAM BAM is offline
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Everywhere
Posts: 14,801
It's a difficult decision but I believe if you are having second thoughts then maybe you should take a step back, talk to your hubby and come to the conclusion as to whether you are both really DONE. I would hate for you to make such a permanent decision and then regret it later because it's nearly impossible to reverse such a decision after it's been done. Have you looked into IUD's? I hear they are good for 5 years or so. Maybe do something like that for now? Hugs!

Reply With Quote
November 23rd, 2011, 08:04 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 824
Good question...i dont have an answer for us. But i completely agree with waiting a bit before doing anything too permanent if you arent feeling entirely sure.

Reply With Quote
November 23rd, 2011, 08:39 AM
Posts: n/a
No answer because im in the grips of baby fever with no way out of it..

Just offer hugs and hope that you come to a decision. I agree on an IUD though. Permanent is so... permanent?!
Reply With Quote
November 23rd, 2011, 08:57 AM
RunningWithBoys's Avatar Amanda
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 4,202
Even though y'all say you are no help, you really ARE!
Just hearing that some of you don't know either is comforting. I want you to know I have read each response several times. I am going to come back later when there are two very energetic muchkins fighting for my attention and reply.

Thank you Alethia for my awesome siggy!

Reply With Quote
November 23rd, 2011, 09:19 AM
redbirds's Avatar Blessed Again!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: CO
Posts: 18,447
After Kellen, I KNEW I wasn't done. I always wanted 3 or 4. Now, I'm really at peace with being complete, especially if this is a boy. DH said if it's a girl, we can give it a go for #4, and I just rolled my eyes... then I knew. I'm happy with 3! I mean with 4, we'd probably have to look for an even BIGGER house, a suburban vs. Traverse, postpone retirement even further, blah blah blah. Not to say it won't happen... I'm not against it, but I can tell you if this is a boy, both of us are happy to say we won't be trying for any more. I hate worrying about age-related pregnancy/baby health issues, too...


neither of us is going to do anything permanent, either (but age is almost our permanent act anyway). But if this is a boy, I may go back on bcp for a couple years until age kicks in.
Gwynne, celebrating the newest of our four precious miracles

Hat's off to Vicki for my cute siggy, thank you!
Reply With Quote
November 23rd, 2011, 09:29 AM
alethia's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Phoenix, Arizona
Posts: 18,623
I'm not a ton of help either. .. i still get that torn feeling even without uterus

DH always talked about 3 and i always said only 2. Even though i can't have any more babies and i truly at first felt done and complete after Kaylee Mable - i still think about another ... and so does DH. We talk about being happy being done and can also tell you all the reasons for no more kiddo's but their i think is just that torn feeling that comes and goes. Obviously we can't have any more of our own - and even if we could it won't be smart to try again medically ... i think it's just that biological drive, it's hard to see your kids grow up and know that it's the last stages you'll see - but hey - that's what Grand kids are for and there is always something like fostering or adoption ... and for your DH the V can be reversed

it is a hard choice.
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:31 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0