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Ugh.. Early Gender Ultrasound or No??

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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May 26th, 2011, 12:16 PM
cydonia1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,710
I really want to find out the gender as soon as possible.. Unfortunately, due to schedule timing, I don't get my big "18 Week" ultrasound until two weeks later, on June 23. My dr said he may be able to tell me the gender at my next prenatal appointment with him after that, on June 30, but even then they may not have given him that information yet (apparently they take longer to pass that info on). So at this point it may not be until Week 21 or 22 (beginning of July, basically) before I'd find out the gender.

So.. There's a 3D ultrasound place that offers gender determination packages... Their website says they prefer you to be at at least 20 weeks for it, but a friend of mine went in to see them at 18 weeks and they didn't have a problem with it. So I *really* want to do this.. but I'm not sure.. I'd like to think everything is 100% fine with baby, but since I won't have my diagnostic ultrasound done yet, what if something is wrong? This place isn't a hospital.. it's not made for diagnostics.. it's just for show. So I'm worried if I do get in for an appointment with them at 18 weeks and something isn't right, it wouldn't be a good thing...

I tried to explain all this to DH for his opinion and maybe reassurance that it'd be fine to do it... but all I got was "what's the point" type of things. Since we have the appointment at the hospital booked already for 20 weeks he doesn't see the point of bothering with the private 3D ultrasound. I tried to explain to him that I'm going crazy here, really wanting to find out the gender.. I don't want to wait until July to find out! But he really just doesn't see the point. For me, I'd like to start calling baby by his or her name rather than "baby" or "it". I feel like I'd be able to bond much better with little one if I could do that.. That concept totally flew over his head. It doesn't matter to him at all. He wants to find out the gender too, but it's not going to help him feel any closer apparently.

arrghhh.. so I really don't know what to do. I don't want to be caught in an awkward situation if the 3D ultrasound place did find something weird going on in there... when all I want is a quick look and hopefully the gender.. but the wait is KILLING me. >_<

I guess I just needed a vent here... Also, what would any of you do?? Are any of you going for private ultrasounds before having a good diagnostic ultrasound first?? Do you think that'd be too risky, and it's better just to wait for the diagnostic?

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May 26th, 2011, 12:37 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 1,069
the reason most of those places say after 20 weeks is so that you have had the anatomy scan and know nothing is wrong....however, odd are NOTHING IS WRONG! i know its hard....i pray and hope every day that both of my babies are fine. I dont think that will ever pass until i hold them.

I would make the appointment :-)
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May 26th, 2011, 12:39 PM
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 1,075
I totally understand. I probably won't get mine until 20 weeks, which is July 8!!!! 6 weeks from now!!!

I think some private places won't see you unless you've had your diagnostic screening first. You might just call them and check. My DH is the same way, I wanted to have this blood test done to find out the gender. And his first automatic response, "Of course we don't want to have that done, we don't need to spend that kind of money."

Urgh, he just doesn't get it!! Good luck!!

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May 26th, 2011, 01:09 PM
SoCaliMommy's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Southern California
Posts: 874
The place i went to started doing gender scans at 14 weeks with 99% accuracy rate and just had you fill out forms to show your getting prental care.

I would go if you want to go.

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May 26th, 2011, 01:15 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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Location: Batesville, MS
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Some private 'for fun' places won't do it until you've had your anatomy scan. Check with them first, that may make your decision for you. If it were me, I would wait, but we don't have the extra money to spend right now, since they aren't covered by insurance.
Elizabeth, mommy to Judge and Zavier, and crossing fingers for an Ellen Paige this December!

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May 26th, 2011, 01:21 PM
Jenilope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I did a 3d us with my first daughter. We saw almost nothing. She had her back turned to us with her face burried in placenta the whole time. All we got was butt shots and toes. They were REALLY cute toes though!

Anyway, when we went, they told us that they were just looking to get pictures and confirm gender (we already had our 20 week anatomy scan with the OB) and we had to sign a form stating that we understood this was not a diagnostic test, we would not be told anything (good or bad) about the health of the baby, they would not be liable for not finding or disclosing potential health problems, and the gender determination is not 100% guaranteed--even after 20 weeks.

So, if you just want a peek and you can afford it, I say sure, go and check things out--just know that they're not going to tell you anything else and that they might be wrong anyway. Most 3d places around here will do gender scans starting at 16 weeks. My sister found out she was having a boy at 13 or 14 weeks.

And don't stress about your man--it's true what they say--women become moms as soon as they get that BFP, men don't become dad's until they hold the baby (and even then, a lot of them aren't super interested in interacting until baby is closer to 1 and starts to do things.)
Mom to four beautiful girls
Matilda (6), Evelyn (5), Adelaide (3), Cecily (20 months)

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May 26th, 2011, 01:24 PM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 4,367
We did a gender scan at about 16 and 1/2 weeks. We hadn't had the big anatomy scan yet. At the pay ultrasound places, they just look for the gender and try to get a cute pic. They did measure the heartbeat, but didn't check out anything else. I did have to provide the name and phone number of my OB. If you ahve the money - I say do it.

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May 26th, 2011, 01:41 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Fort Leavenworth, KS
Posts: 3,387
Lurking from Dec DDC.
I had this very same talk with DH yesterday. I wanted to schedule my next ob appt to have an US done at 16 weeks and of course the place said no. My back up was to get a scan done when we went to visit my family in arizona in july, I'd be 17-18 weeks by then and DH said no. Whats the point. I really wanted to do it because chances are its the only time my family will be able to be involved and my mom would find it super special and he just shot me down. I cried over it a lot. But if worst comes to worst I will pay 60 bucks and find out, whether or not he gets mad I don't care. Don't miss out on these opportunities! Peace of mind is priceless. I hope you get what you want!!!

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May 26th, 2011, 02:56 PM
Sassafrass's Avatar Running Mamma
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 4,767
I looked for a place in Edmonton that would do an early gender scan. There is no place that would do it earlier than 20 weeks(UC Baby).

I go in two weeks and I swear it feels like YEARS away.
Mummy to 7,

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May 26th, 2011, 03:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
I'm going to a private place on monday just after 14 weeks. Studies show gender u/s at 13 weeks or higher have a very very high accuracy rate, almost 100% all the time. If you have the money, I'd definitly do it! A few places in AZ do it starting at 14, but other places here say 16 or 18 weeks. I can't believe some places elsewhere say not til 20 weeks, that seems absurd!
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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May 26th, 2011, 03:40 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Severn, MD
Posts: 724
I just went last night to a private ultrasound place. I only had to be 16 weeks and I found out the gender. I went on Monday for an ultrasound from the doctor because of horrendous cramps and they wouldn't even take a guess...I had to know because I am the most impatient person so my MIL offered to pay. Good Luck!
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May 26th, 2011, 03:50 PM
cydonia1978's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: BC, Canada
Posts: 1,710
Thanks everyone!! It's always so helpful to vent and ask questions here!

I decided I'd take the "easy" way and emailed the clinic. Their website recommended emailing with any questions, so I figured why not. I mentioned in it that I'd be 18 Weeks and my friend (who used them last year) had a gender scan at 18 weeks.. so we'll see what they say.

I know here in Canada it's pretty typical to not get the scan done until 20 weeks and my dr said they're still hung up on not telling people until after 21 weeks or so because then it's illegal to perform an abortion, so they feel safer in revealing the gender then. Unfortunately we have a high number of people in this province (at least, in the southern area of the province) who are part of a culture who would willingly abort a girl baby in favor of having a boy, so it kind of ruined it for the rest of us who wouldn't dream of doing that. It's not like the hospital can look at you and say "oh, you wouldn't do that" because that would be discrimination to do that to others who just happen to look like they may be of that culture (when they very well may not be).

So yeah.. I'll let everyone know what they say! *crossing fingers*

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May 26th, 2011, 04:41 PM
babyB No.1's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 516
I would say you do what you think is right. If you can afford it - go for it. Men are funny at this time I think - we have the baby in our belly and I think therefore have a much closer bond, early worrying and needs to know.

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May 26th, 2011, 06:56 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 440
Well... I would wait and have the anatomy scan and find out the gender then. Even if you do have the money, I think it would be better spent on baby gear, clothes etc. We had a 3d u/s with our first and it was a waste of time and money.
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May 26th, 2011, 07:07 PM
Lynley's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,488
Because my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage, I've been very nervous this whole pregnancy. I had ultrasounds at 8 and 12 weeks at my midwife's office, and I went to the local independent ultrasound place at 14 weeks just to make sure the heartbeat was strong, etc. They guarantee the gender determination (which only costs $30) from 15 weeks on - if they're wrong, they'll refund your money and give you a full 4D ultrasound further along in your pregnancy. The tech made a guess at my 14 week appt that it was a girl. We went for our official gender scan at the midwife's office at 15w6d, and they said girl. I went back to the independent place at 16w3d just to make sure (before we started fretting about names and stuff). We did have to sign a form confirming that we are under a doctor's or midwife's care and this this was not a diagnostic test, etc.

I can say from my personal experience that I felt a lot better both knowing the gender and having it confirmed by an independent source. I would call around and see if there are other independent places - there are at least two in my town, which isn't huge. If you'd feel better knowing earlier, then I say do it - you've got enough stress just being pregnant, and if this would ease your mind, then it's worth the money. Your DH may not understand, but honestly, I'd tell him to suck it up and do it anyway. You're the mommy here! Your comfort and peace of mind is what's important. Hope they're able to get you in and get you some answers soon!

FWIW, Rita (Ritzbitz) found out the gender at 12 weeks, so anything's possible!

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May 26th, 2011, 08:14 PM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
My sister went to that UC Baby place, she was told at every u/s prior to that, that there were no boy parts but it was still only 65% girl. She went on a day they had a special, it was $60 I believe for half an hour, gender determination/confirmation, DVD of the entire u/s and over 70 photos. (The reason my sister has had so many ultrasounds, she's diabetic, went to a fertility clinic to have her lil miracle, has high bp, and her doctor is concerned about baby's size.) She went at almost 28 weeks, so it doesn't really help for the current moment, but I just wanted to give some info about it.

For me, I don't have my gender u/s until June 27th, I'll be 21 weeks 2 days then. It seems a bit long to me, but that's also when my next doctor's appt is. I think the girl might have gotten confused when I requested a "5 weeks from now" appointment so I could double them up. She ended up giving me a 6 week plus appointment. I do want to find out earlier than 21 weeks, but I'm fine with waiting as well, after I find out the gender I'll be getting things ready ~ painting, buying the big stuff, etc. So I'm not too ready for that yet! I DO hope that place emails you back and is willing to see you soon!!!

Also ~ as disgusting as what you said in regards to aborting girls, I've heard of that here too... might be the same culture. That's quite disturbing!!!!

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