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Forum: 2011 Playroom


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May 27th, 2011, 08:47 PM
Alaska-Su's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Fairbanks, AK
Posts: 2,352
I keep forgetting to ask my MW about this so I figured I'd ask you guys.

Everyone keeps talking about them and saying I need one but I'm so confused as to what exactly they are.

Could someone tell me and give me an example of one? And things I need to think about when making one?

Thanks Tasha_Mae for my siggy!!

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May 28th, 2011, 05:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Grand Rapids,MI
Posts: 1,680
Basically it is a list of what you want. I believe you can go online and find the list and check off what you want talk it over with your MW and take it to the hospital with you! I didn't have one with DD and I don't have one with this one but that is just me. I kind of go with the flow....

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May 28th, 2011, 06:20 AM
Jenilope's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Western Chicago Suburbs
Posts: 13,688
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I had one with my first, but didn't bother after that because I felt confident that I knew what my options were, had a good idea of what to expect in certain circumstances, had made those decisions with my partner who would speak for me if I couldn't, and mostly, I'm cool with going with the flow.

But, it's traditionally something that covers your desires regarding different interventions at the hosptial--everything from visitor policy and IVs to pain meds, when to cut the cord, vaccines and eye drops for your new born, feeding preferences... some people even include their focus items or music they want to have played. Making it helps you think through all the possiblities you can prepare for in birth scenarios and it informs your care-giver about what you want, but it's not a binding contract, and some things certainly won't go to plan.

You don't HAVE to have one, but I think making one is a good exercise, especially for first-timers (mom or dad) to get a better idea of what to expect and what you want. The first time, I didn't even know you had a choice about types of fetal monitors, whether or not to get and IV and whether or not to cut the cord before it stops pulsing... it was very informative for me.

Here's a link to an interactive birth plan worksheet that takes you through the common items on a birth plan and allows you to chose various options and gives you a cohesive plan to print when you're done. But, it can't possibly be perfect for everyone, use it as a starting point and if, for something, they don't have the choice that feels right for you, just write in what it is you would want.

Hope that helps
Mom to four beautiful girls
Matilda (6), Evelyn (5), Adelaide (3), Cecily (20 months)

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May 28th, 2011, 11:31 AM
Alaska-Su's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Fairbanks, AK
Posts: 2,352
Hmm...I think maybe I should talk to my NMW and the MWs at the birthing center. The NMW will be for if I become high risk and have to deliver at the hospital. All I know about the hospital here for births is that they have a tub for laboring but you can't deliver in it. Which is the main reason I want to deliver at the birthing center with the MWs. Also because I don't want to be tempted to ask for an epidural and I don't want anyone asking me if I want one. Who knows how well it'd work on me anyways what with my waking up in the middle of getting my wisdom teeth pulled but unable to show I was awake since I couldn't move.

The birthing center is pretty easy to know how they deal with the deliveries. And they did explain a little to me. They don't cut the cord right away, unless the woman wants that. They won't take your baby from you until you're ready. As soon as the baby comes out, you're handed it and get to cuddle it as long as you want. Then, when you're ready, you hand the baby over so they can do the weighing and measuring while you get cleaned up. And if you want you can lay in the bed for a while to rest before going home. Then, they wait a full day (more if you delivered at a bad time for visits) and they visit you at home to see how things are and to check out your place and help you use everything there to its advantage.

I was even told by the free clinic that they would send a lactation specialist to check on me the day after I give birth, but the birthing center does that, too, so I won't need the free clinic's person.

But yeah. Thanks for the info. I'll look at that list and use it to talk to the people about. I'm planning on talking to the NMW on Monday anyways, I'll just ask him about an appointment. I hear he gives ultrasounds to the women at every visit.

Thanks Tasha_Mae for my siggy!!

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May 28th, 2011, 12:38 PM
..Jessica..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 11,084
I keep wondering too, I've seen women mention it a lot on that show "One Born Every Minute" and I think I'm better off not stressing over something like that. Some of the ladies on there can be so stubborn about following that plan, when all it really is is what you want written out ~ I'd rather say "this is what I want" than "but my birth plan says this" don't know if I'm much help!

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May 28th, 2011, 04:04 PM
missy123's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Savannah GA
Posts: 13,418
I never had a birth plan with the boys... Kind of went with the flow! But then again I am not a structured person.

Pregnancy Loss April 2009, September 2010
CP 10/2008, 1/3/11 {missing my babies every single day}Mommy to 4 Children - 3 boys ages 22, 21 and 18 & baby Scarlett
After 2.5 years TTC with 4 losses our Family was given the gift of Miss Scarlett
Do not ever give up hope...

Miss Scarlett... Our miracle girl still brings happy tears to my eyes.

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May 28th, 2011, 04:42 PM
Kittynoah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: St. Louis
Posts: 4,367
My hospital website actually had one that you could print off and check the boxes or make comments. My biggest thing was no pacifiers and exclusive breastfeeding. I was pretty go with the flow about everything else. I did like that it had a spot for what you wanted for visitors. Then the nurses can be the bad guys and kick people out for you!

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May 28th, 2011, 05:52 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: AZ
Posts: 2,044
With my son I just searched for birth plans and there's generic ones that you can customize to be your own. I think they are a good idea. I gave one to the dr beforehand and brought one to the hospital to give to my L&D nurse. That way, they know your wishes up front and in writing and there's not misunderstandings...if the nurse forgets how I want something, it's in the birth plan and if they switch shifts or something, I don't have to keep explaining myself.
Mommy to Alexander, Annabella, & always missing our angel!
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May 28th, 2011, 06:41 PM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 42
I have one just because of how awful the birth of DS was in 2003. I am only having the baby in a hospital because I am technically high risk, but it's just a list of things that I do and do not want that the hospital staff will need to know.
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May 28th, 2011, 08:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,897
Unfortunately the hospitals/doctors here dont care what you want,they do what they think needs to be done.
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May 28th, 2011, 08:57 PM
Alaska-Su's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Fairbanks, AK
Posts: 2,352
@Israelsofiaplusone: That's what I'm afraid of with hospitals. My mom's been on call all week and it won't end until Tuesday morning when she goes to work. But she keeps getting pages to make these IVs or whatever for these babies. And these IVs are completely unnecessary!

There's a better way to do them where it won't require a pharmacist to go in and make them. But the doctor has her way of doing things and she's wanting these babies to have this humongous bag of some stuff, I can't remember what but it can kill people if it's not mixed right and dripped in right, and the thing is, there are these bags that are smaller and already pre-mixed that are the perfect size for babies. But this doctor doesn't want to mess with it, she just wants to get one big one and put it on and leave.

What was worse, was that one of the days my mom had to go in and do this (which is a HUGE hassle because she lives a 30 minute drive from the hospital), when she got there, the doctor wasn't even there! She had ordered the IV and then left, telling the nurses on staff to call her once the baby's blood was finished getting drawn and whatnot.

This won't be the hospital I'd give birth at if I become high risk (it's a military hospital), but still. Sometimes I feel like the only reason this hospital hasn't killed over half their patients is thanks to my mom and one of her co-workers who are decent pharmacists and always question the doctor when they see unnecessary things on the prescription form.


As for things I want, I don't want tons of people there. But I thought I read in one of the papers that here would be three people from the birthing center in the room. I'm wonder why the hell they need that many. I can do two, because it makes sense, the MW is there and then she has a helper to get things if they're needed.

I want my mom and my best friend in the room. My mom most likely won't stay by my side the entire time, which is good because I would scream at her if she forced herself to stay. She'd end up passing out if she was right there the entire time. She doesn't have a high tolerance for watching people in pain.

I always hear good things about doulas, but that's so expensive and I doubt my insurance would cover one. Besides, that would make 6 people in the room and even just 4 makes me feel like I'm suffocating just thinking about it! I hate crowds! Too much energy running around and it sucks me dry emotionally until I either get too tired to do anything or start feeling trapped and start freaking out.

I don't have any other preferences for when I get to the birthing center. I always trust that those in charge know what they're doing. That's not always the case, but I have to give them the benefit of the doubt.

As for a hospital birth, I want my baby back in my arms as soon as the weighing and measuring and stuff is done. I do NOT want my baby leaving the room before I get at least a good 10 minute look at it. My mom will back me up on that if someone thinks otherwise for no good reason.

And I don't want to be asked if I want an epidural. And I want the bare minimum amount of professionals in the room. The lights must be dimmed and people must be quiet! Nothing above a low voice. If everyone else can stay calm, I can stay calm. I feed off others emotions without meaning to. My middle sister once was so nervous about something and I was sitting in the car next to her. She hadn't said anything and on the outside she looked fine but I knew inside she was freaking out because my heart was racing and I felt nauseous and I was getting shaky. I looked at her and said, "You have to stop being so nervous, I'm sure everything will be fine." She asked, "How did you know I was nervous?" and I said, "Because I'm feeling like I've got stage fright and I have nothing to be nervous about." It's why I hate crowds, my body doesn't know which emotion to choose so it starts going bonkers.

But other than that I can't think of anything else I have to have.

Thanks Tasha_Mae for my siggy!!

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May 29th, 2011, 06:50 AM
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 42
@Israelsofiaplusone: This is your pregnancy and your birth. You have choices, you can say no. I know most women feel that they don't have a choice when they give birth in a hospital. I didn't feel like I had choices with DS but I've changed since then. I know what I want for this labor and birth and I am making the hospital staff aware with my birth plan. Most doctors and hospitals can get away with doing what they want because they put the fear of God in the mother thinking that they are doing these intervention to save the baby! There is no need. They just want to get home by 5pm. Watch The Business of Being Born--you'll feel empowered and know that you have choices even if you choose a hospital to deliver in.
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May 29th, 2011, 05:03 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 3,897
karly-with my first kid they just did stuff and didnt tell me anything

i try my best to labor at home so i dont have to deal with it
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