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Questions for bedsharing mamas

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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November 17th, 2011, 09:55 PM
DaniB+4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Union Bridge, MD
Posts: 3,439
For those of you who routinely bedshare....

1)What does your baby wear to bed?

2)Will your baby go to bed without you, or will he/she only go to sleep when you're ready to go down for the night yourself?

Miles refuses to sleep in clothing (screams his face off if we try) so he's been sleeping in just a diaper. He's a warm, sweaty little baby and I guess all of the body heat from John and I are enough to keep him warm. But with winter on the horizon here in MD I'm naturally worried that he's not clothed enough to stay warm throughout the night.

Also, he refuses to go to bed without me. I didn't mind it so much when he was a newborn and I was dead to the world by 8 PM, but now that he's a little older I'm not always tired when he is. I've been nursing him down to sleep and then creeping off, but nine out of ten times he wakes up not too long after and decides he just wants to hang out with me instead . It's not necessarily a big deal but I'm just curious as to whether this is normal bedsharing baby behavior or if I've just got a super mama's boy on my hands. I really wouldn't mind him staying up late with me except that over the past couple of weeks I've noticed that he's overstimulated to the point of delirium by 9-9:30 and NEEDS to be put to actual bed (not just down for a cat nap in the rocker or swing like we used to do until we were ready for bed).
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November 17th, 2011, 10:44 PM
CanadianLou's Avatar Laura - mom of 3
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 3,650
We bedshare off and on (lately more on than off), so I 'm not sure if my answers will really be the same as someone who does it all the time.

Liam wears a onsie and a footed sleeper and I swaddle him in a blanket of his own when he sleeps with me. He LOVES to be super warm though and I have not seen him sweat yet.... AND we live in Canada and I find it freezing at night. Tonight for instance it's -10C (14F). We keep our house at 18C at night (64.4F)

He usually doesn't go to bed til I do. We don't really have a schedule. So I've never actually put him in any room alone to sleep yet. But I'm pretty sure that if I got him to sleep I could leave the room and he's stay asleep.

So I guess my answers don't help...but I thought I'd answer
*~ Laura ~*

Thank you Meganpixel for the most fantastic siggy!

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November 18th, 2011, 02:10 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 3,300
We tried to use pjs and those sleep sack things but one day it dawned on me that Chauncey was sweating like mad. Now it's diaper only.

We haven't tried to get him to sleep overnight elsewhere, but sleeping with me is part of his routine. I'm a bit nervous about him starting day care in a few months because he generally won't nap more than 30 minutes unless I'm sleeping with him.

I like our sleeping routine, it's not "normal" but it works for us. He's one of the only babies around who has a bedtime of midnight! lol

eta: We live in Alaska, it's gotten below zero degrees a few times recently and he is still just in a diaper. Our house is perfectly warm, we keep it between 65-72.

Last edited by lrowe70; November 18th, 2011 at 02:13 AM.
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November 18th, 2011, 03:54 AM
BaconsMama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,263
Zander is in a footed sleeper since we currently have a fan and humidifier going it can get cool. He will sleep in his swing or bouncer from around 8/9:30 until midnight when we go to bed.
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November 18th, 2011, 06:31 AM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 14,431
1)What does your baby wear to bed?
A sleeper generally, it's chilly in the room we're in, and I share a blanket with my bigger girl most nights, so I keep Alexis uncovered.

2)Will your baby go to bed without you, or will he/she only go to sleep when you're ready to go down for the night yourself?
She will sleep without me, but around when she thinks bedtime is (between 7-10) she will start fussing up a storm. I just hold her, nurse her, and put her down wherever is convenient for me.

This is all so much more relaxed than with my first girl, who as I mentioned, I am still more often than not sleeping with. She HAD to be sleeping with me. HAD to fall asleep on the boob. Also, she ran hot, and always slept in a diaper, still ended up soaking the surface beneath her in sweat. She was constantly attached to me, and I was fine with it. Still am, even with the addition of new baby.

What we do now, to get any semblance of adult time, is take them to actual bed, play, talk, nurse, cuddle, all while DH and I maybe watch a movie on the laptop, which we set up at the foot of the bed. When the girls are completely asleep, we'll move them where needed, and do our own thing, be it watch a more age appropriate movie, listen to music and talk, or other adult things. Sure, it can take all night to get to the point we're not smothered in children, but it is worth it, and the time with the girls is wonderful. They won't always want to cuddle and play with us like this, we'll take it.

Dani, you do what you do and don't question whether it's normal or not. There aren't always right answers in parenting. As long as baby is happy, healthy, and you are looking out for him, that is best. He's in a diaper? Great. If he was cold, I bet you'd bundle him up. He doesn't like you slinking off anymore? I bet you'll figure that out too. It might take a bit, but it'll come together!
Thank you claire1979 for my cute new siggy!
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November 18th, 2011, 06:43 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 10,571
SO glad to know Savvy isn't the only baby doing this!

I put her to bed either in a footed sleeper or a long-sleeve onesie/pants. On hotter nights, I will just put her to bed in a onesie & socks.

I put her to bed at about 8:30pm at night because that's when she's really tired & ready for bed. HOWEVER, it's like she knows I'm not in the room, because 9 out of 10 times, she will just cry & cry until I give in & go get her.
Once I go to bed, not a peep is heard from her cute little mouth. haha

It's so funny how they get such comfort just from our presence. What a gift!
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November 18th, 2011, 08:06 AM
I now have a daughter!!!
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,758
Aniyah seems to be a bit cold-blooded. I keep her very warm. She sleeps on the side of the bed, on top of her own blanket (usually a flannel), and she either has warm pajamas on and a couple of blankets pulled up to h waist or so, or a warm sleepsack and then another blanket. At first, I didn't have her warm enough cuz her little hands would be like ice. Now, I have it figured out, and she's toasty, but not sweaty. She sleeps on her side usually, sometimes back...and it's always the same side due to nursing.

She goes to bed when I do.... Wait, I go to bed when she does! HA! She gets soo fussy when it's bedtime for her, and I simply go when she's ready. Anymore though, she's out instantly after she nurses a bit. I have tried to sneak off about 600 times after she's asleep. But, I have yet to succeed. Stinker. They are pretty magical with their senses! I end up laying in bed and watching TV if I'm not sleepy yet. It's the only time I ever watch TV, so I'm okay with it.

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November 18th, 2011, 09:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 3,778
She wears a long sleeved onsie or a sleeper, depending on the temperature. She usually stays warm enough, even with very little blankets actually covering her. Her head sweats where my arm touches her.

She had been sleeping about 4 hours at a stretch but the past 2 nights she's wanted to nurse every 1.5-2 hours. Growth spurt? I don't "put her down" to bed, but just take her when I'm going anytime from 10-12 am.
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November 18th, 2011, 11:27 AM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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I try not to bed share often, but he ends up in our bed from the time he wakes up for his first feeding till morning. I have tried to put him back to his bed, but he's just not having it.

Since he starts off in his crib (in our room) he is usually in a sleeper. And he will sleep without me.
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November 18th, 2011, 11:33 AM
jdt's Avatar
jdt jdt is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 1,897
Joshua sleeps in his onesie and a sleeper. He loves to be warm and he uses our comforters also.

Yes he will fall asleep by himself in our bed. But he tends to squirm towards me during the night. Some nights he's smack by my face.
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November 18th, 2011, 04:06 PM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
Posts: 21,659
she wears jammies, and if it's colder and I don't turn the heat up, then she wears her sleep sack as well.

alseep without me no, because she nurses to sleep. but she'll stay asleep if I get up.
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November 18th, 2011, 04:11 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 5,639
I am struggling with this sometimes too. We have a bassinet in our room and I always try to start her out in there. She is tired by about 7 or 8, I nurse her and put her in the bassinet, and creep out for some couple time with DH. At least that is the goal.

Lately though she will only sleep for 30 minutes and then wakes up crying. I always have to go back and try to put her back to sleep. Sometimes it works for another 30 minutes, sometimes not and I have to bring her into my bed and go to sleep with her. She pretty much always ends up in bed with my after her 1am feeding.

A few times I have gotten her in her bassinet and she has slept right through until her first feeding of the night (usually around 1am) but that has only happened a few times.

We are just going to keep working at it. Try every night... hope it gets better. I do like to bedshare but DH refuses to sleep in our bed with her in it (until we move into our new place and buy a king) so getting a little bit of time with him before she wakes up is nice.

She sleeps in a onsie and a fleece sleeper, and with blankets on top of her (a baby blanket and 2 flannel recieving blankets). Always her own blankets, weather she is starting the night in her bassinet or I have moved her into bed with me. It is cold around here! (and the cool mist humidifier I have running does not help)

Proud mama to:

Avery Elizabeth (08/27/2011) & Dawsyn Brielle (10/29/2013)
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November 18th, 2011, 04:57 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 5,639
an idea for you dani.. after he is sleeping slip off your shirt and leave it in bed with him. That way when he wakes partially he can still smell mama and might not fully wake up! Might get you a little extra time before you have to go to bed

Proud mama to:

Avery Elizabeth (08/27/2011) & Dawsyn Brielle (10/29/2013)
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November 19th, 2011, 07:17 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Michigan
Posts: 26,401
We keep our heat at 69 degrees but our upstairs is about 64-65 degrees, so I put her in a fleece sleeper. When she's sleeping alone, I'll put a light blanket over her to keep her warm.

She goes to bed before we do and we put her down in the co-sleeper. We'll go to bed when we are ready, or lately, she's been waking up just before I'm ready for bed so I'll go up then.
Andrea, mom to 3 beautiful girls - Abigail (8) Annabelle (6) and Alexis (3)

Expecting baby #4 in April - It's a BOY!

Two Little Monkies on Etsy
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