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Mommy guilt *need suggestions*

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By navywifey2003
  • 1 Post By jdt
  • 4 Post By joonzgurl

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February 7th, 2012, 02:55 PM
~*Nicole*~'s Avatar Nicole
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Idaho
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I have been thinking about starting Alaina on a little bit of formula because I'm getting so worn out (mentally and physically) with EBF. Just the thought makes my stomach start hurting and I can't help but feel sooo guilty for even thinking about it. I really need to get her to start sleeping on her own and I just don't see that happening if I continue breastfeeding at night and through the night. I didn't breastfeed this long with my others and I really, really wanted to make it to a year. I am just not functioning on such little sleep; she's still waking up at least 3x a night to nurse. I know it won't harm her to supplement, but I think that if I start doing it I will end up quitting BFing all together before long. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to either a)get her to sleep longer in her own bed without CIO because I just can't do it or b)get over feeling guilty for thinking about supplementing. I need rest!

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February 7th, 2012, 03:08 PM
navywifey2003's Avatar Home Birth Mama
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Everett still wakes up 3-4 times a night as well. This is just my two cents so take it for what its worth and my experience. I supplemented my daughter at night so she would sleep better and so I could sleep and DH could get up with her. She ended up wanting nothing with BF anymore. I thought I was fine with it but in reality I wasnt. I still have guilt over it. Is she fine and thriving sure but its not something I really wanted just something I did for sleep. She never did sleep through the night until she was 2 and she is still a horrible sleeper. I dont think it matters FF/BF, supplement , kids are goingto sleep through the night when they are ready. Like I said Katelynn did not until she was 2.
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February 7th, 2012, 03:12 PM
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jdt jdt is offline
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Joshua is still up a couple times at night unless he eats a heavy dinner. if you make yourself sick just thinking about BF then by all means I say go ahead and supplement. You've gone this long and babies thrive just as well on formula.
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February 7th, 2012, 03:12 PM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
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I know I am not really answering your question, but have you thought about co-sleeping/bed sharing with her in order to get more rest?

That is how I have dealt with my baby's frequent night waking. I practiced nursing laying down, and now her waking up just involves me rolling over to her and offering the breast. It's working wonderings to make me feel more rested.

Just an idea, if it is really important to you to continue breastfeeding.

Also, do you want to wake up 3x a night and have to make a bottle? What if cutting back the bfeeding doesn't lessen her night wakings at all?

I don't agree with CIO either, and in my desperation for rest I considered it and did a lot of research. I think it is natural for a baby not to sleep through the night- for survival reasons. In the absense of sleep training, all babies will eventually sleep though- I think it is just like any other milestone, like rolling over or walking. All babies are different and all babies will achieve that milestone on their own, and we shouldn't push them.

Sorry this has gotten so long! Just my two cents. Hang in there mama!

Proud mama to:

Avery Elizabeth (08/27/2011) & Dawsyn Brielle (10/29/2013)
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February 7th, 2012, 03:36 PM
~*Nicole*~'s Avatar Nicole
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I know I am not really answering your question, but have you thought about co-sleeping/bed sharing with her in order to get more rest?
This is part of the problem. She and I bed-share and I wake up when she moves and I think I wake her up when I move too. My husband has been temporarily relocated to the couch haha. I definitely could not wake up that many times and have to do more than just roll over. It's gotten to the point where I just sleep with my girls hanging out so I don't have to bother with a nursing bra either

Thanks for the advice ladies! I don't think I can do formula. I have really enjoyed bonding with her over breastfeeding, so I guess I'll just trudge on through. It's just always good to be reminded that there's a light at the end of the tunnel and I will sleep eventually! I appreciate the feedback

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February 7th, 2012, 03:41 PM
Zoostergirl's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well said Rachel!

If getting more sleep is the only reason you'd stop bf'ing I'd encourage you to stick with it. But six months is really awesome! Does she take a bottle? Could you pump some extra and then let DH feed her for a night or two?

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February 7th, 2012, 05:05 PM
DaniB+4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Idon't have any good advice since I co-sleep in order to cope with night waking. I do think Miles feeds more often than he would if he slept on his own (just because it's right there in his face) but I personally choose to accept it (NOT saying that you're wrong for wanting to change it - just saying that I'm cool with it). I kinda like that he's getting that extra nutrition and human contact in his sleep. But that's just me. You do what feels right!
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February 7th, 2012, 05:21 PM
Dixana's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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One other thought, what is she sleeping in? We were having horrible nights until I started putting her In just a diaper or a 100% cotton sleeper.
Worth a shot!

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February 7th, 2012, 06:05 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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Keelan is still not sleeping through the night either, so for whatever it's worth, know that you are not alone.

You said that supplementing her won't hurt her, and you're right. But it will probably hurt your supply which will lead to early weaning in the long run. Your attitude is much like mine was when I weaned Daniel. I kick myself to this day for not giving it more and keep going. In the end, you have to do what is right for your family. You have given her a great start and if the rest of your life is suffering from the lack of sleep, then it might be right for you and your family to start the weaning process. Don't beat yourself up. Just be certain that it's what you want to do.
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February 7th, 2012, 08:12 PM
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I think everyone else pretty much covered everything. Just know you are not alone! Most of us wake up many times a night and have probably considered FF at one time or another. I think the idea about pumping and giving your DH a bottle to feed the baby at night is a good one. I just hold onto the hope that one day things will get better hehe

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February 7th, 2012, 09:27 PM
CND 424's Avatar First Time Mommy
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I'm feeling the same way but working during the day so she is already getting bottles of pumped milk and recently we started with 1 bottle of formula. My supply is already going down with going back to work. I still want to keep up with the morning and night time nursing and so far it's working out OK. I plan to quit by May. I think 6 months is awesome!!!! Good Luck!

Cindi (40) married to Dan (40) since 04/99
TTC 04/99-04/02; 4/00-04/02 did (2) IUI's & (4) IVF's; NTNP ever since!
BFP on 12/20/10 and our little miracle was born 8/19/11!!!

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February 8th, 2012, 07:44 AM
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I don't have anything else to add except to say....here's a hug!

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February 8th, 2012, 11:29 AM
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Have you considered not co-sleeping in order to help you get more sleep? Especially if she's waking up when she hears you move? I have another friend whose daughter would wake up 5 or 6 times a night to nurse when they co-slept, but as soon as she was moved to her own room, the baby started waking only once to eat or sleeping straight through. Maybe Alaina is a light sleeper or maybe she can smell you and decides she might as well have a little snack then go back to sleep rather than just putting herself back to sleep. Hugs with whatever you decide to do! Going without sleep is really tough.

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February 8th, 2012, 11:33 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Good luck with your decision!

I don't have any advice, sorry. lol
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February 8th, 2012, 07:14 PM
Platinum Supermommy
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On the flip side of the co sleeping....have you tried a crib in her own room? Nathan wakes up far less since I moved him to his own room about 2 weeks ago! He was feeding about 4x a night and I think it's because it was right there. I can't really judge this week because he's sick, but when I first moved him he was only up 2x. And once he went right through until 5am. Believe me, 2 weeks ago I never ever ever would have thought that was possible!

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