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Should I TTC again?

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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  • 3 Post By Mama.Angie

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February 7th, 2012, 09:39 PM
CND 424's Avatar First Time Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 950
I can't decide!!! I found this video I made the night before I went into labor that chronicles my pregnancy and I was in tears watching it! Here it is if you want to view it but it is long so I understand if you don't want to! OUR MIRACLE - YouTube

I loved being pregnant and miss it so much. I love being a mommy and am so glad that this happened for me finally! I'm sure you know it took 12 years for Arianna to come and we are both 40 now so I'm thinking that I am too old and should just run with this miracle and give Arianna all of my love. Then I sometimes would like for her to have a playmate and worry she will be lonely. But on the other hand because of my age I am even more at risk for defects. She is so perfect and who knows if I will be able to even have another baby since it took so long this time? So much to think about! I had my annual exam and the Dr. said that if I wanted to TTC that I should start trying in August when she is 1 year old and not wait any longer. She said then I can stop breast feeding in like May and give my body a break. My husband kind of just wants the one child now since we are old and tired He is thinking of getting fixed but that seems so permanent to me! I am on the pill right now but don't want to take it forever. Anyone else that can't decide if they will have another?

Cindi (40) married to Dan (40) since 04/99
TTC 04/99-04/02; 4/00-04/02 did (2) IUI's & (4) IVF's; NTNP ever since!
BFP on 12/20/10 and our little miracle was born 8/19/11!!!

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February 7th, 2012, 10:38 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I'm still on the fence. I'm leaning toward no, but part of me wants to already have decided it's my last pregnancy DURING the pregnancy. And I'd love Patrick to have a brother. But I get so very sick, and pregnancy is just SO scary for me...

Good luck with your decision! It's a hard one!
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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February 8th, 2012, 03:45 AM
wingqueen26's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northeastern Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,450
This is a difficult decision (in my opinion) when you are older and tired which me and my husband are (38 1/2 and 41 respectively). That said, I want my daughter to have a sibling and so we are committed to having another if we are blessed with another. I am pregnant now and I am hoping for a healthy pregnancy but feel worried that something might happen but anyway, for now I am happy. I know things will be difficult for the next few years, very very difficult but in the long run, it will be sooo worth it. Good luck with your decision.

thank u quantum leap for my siggy

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February 8th, 2012, 06:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 3,231
AWWW Cindi it is a TOUGH decision and unfortunately you are at the age that you need to decide....and decide SOON!!! I just worry that it took so long to have Arianna that I don't want you to be dissappointed either way. I would speak to your doctor again about your chances of concieving as well. I don't mean this to step on your toes or get TOO personal....I just know of the struggles that you went through before. It is definitely a PERSONAL choice....I will be 33 soon and I am exhausted with Kaylen!!! ha ha ha!!! whatever you decide I wish you the absolute best of luck and hope that you get exactly what you want!!! Good Luck in your decision process!!!

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February 8th, 2012, 06:24 AM
Mama.Angie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 14,431
I guess this one of those things that really only you can decide... sigh. TTC is full of so many what if's and maybes. My first suggestion would be to sit down and really have a heart to heart with your husband and see what you both want, and see if there is any compromise to those wants.

Not being your age, I feel like it is not my position to make remarks about that type of thing... but I will tell you how I think I would handle it... If I even sort of wanted another, I would talk it over with husband, and go for it. The difference between 1 to 2, especially at baby age, really isn't THAT huge a deal. At least, not for me. When they get older however, it would be my hope that they would be close. Having a child at an older stage in life, one must know when that child is grown, you are even more grown. So for that child to have a sibling to share might be a comfort to them as you yourself age. This is just my own personal thought, and is not to be insensitive to any older mama. If I want a kid at 40, you best believe I will have a kid at 40. I really don't think there is a cut off age that someone can give you, and I truly dislike those that feel the need to judge older mamas.

Anyway, if you want it, go for it. You'd love a second child, you won't love a regret not to have that child.
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Thank you claire1979 for my cute new siggy!
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February 8th, 2012, 07:05 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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Posts: 8,598
Angie said it well. It is such a personal decision that none of us can tell you what to do. I know my DH and I have decided to not have any more kids b/c my pregnancies have been scary and we don't think we could handle the stress and increasing potential for negative outcomes. That said, we've been blest with three children and are extremely grateful for each of them.

I wouldn't let age be the sole deciding factor. It may have taken 12 years to have Ariana, but it may only take months fora second child. Good luck with your decision.
Mom to M (6), K (4), and little rose (18 months)
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February 8th, 2012, 07:27 AM
Platinum Supermommy
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Well now what I was going to say won't sound as good because Angie had to go first...LOL

All I was going to say is that it's only for you and hubby to decide. I'd have a nice talk with him, if you guys do decide to move forward with TTC, try your hardest NOT to stress yourself out about it so that you're still enjoying Arianna.

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February 8th, 2012, 07:46 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 2,084
I also am 40. And I definitely want another one. My husband is only 27 though, and wants to wait. I swear sometimes it makes me want to cry because he doesn't understand. But I keep talking to him about it and hoping he will want one sooner than later because I'm ready!

William Jeffery, born 8/1/11
Evan John, born 2/24/13

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February 8th, 2012, 08:40 AM
joonzgurl's Avatar Proud mama of 2 girls
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Small Town, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 5,639
Your video brought tears to my eyes! So beautiful, especially after such a long struggle to concienve.

Just like the others said, truely only you can decide. I hope you decide something you are comfortable with!

Proud mama to:

Avery Elizabeth (08/27/2011) & Dawsyn Brielle (10/29/2013)
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February 8th, 2012, 09:06 AM
Happy Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest
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I agree only you can decide. I'm with Brittanie though. I like knowing before/during that it is the last one.
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February 8th, 2012, 11:14 AM
teacher.123's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Location: Illinois, USA
Posts: 3,194
Yup, only you and your hubby can make this decision. Dr. even gave you the go ahead.

If your worried about your age and the outcomes of the pregnancy, then maybe talk about how long your willing to TTC #2 for. What is meant to be will happen. Just stay healthy and don't stress out about any of it.

BTW.....your video had me crying so hard. I could just feel the love. Good thing I don't have to go into work for a few hours! My eyes are seriously red and puffy.

Last edited by teacher.123; February 8th, 2012 at 11:25 AM.
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February 8th, 2012, 11:20 AM
CoreenaC's Avatar Carter-Carter's Momma
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Location: Oregon, USA
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All I want to say is that I agree with Angie. Talk to your DH, and if you both decide to go for it, go for it! I do want to tell you a little story though; I have a friend who tried for 5 years and got pg with her August '11 baby through IVF w/ ICSI. She is now expecting a natural August '12 baby through NTNP. I hope you experience similar, amazing results if you do decide to TTC!
Me - Coreena - 27
DH - Max - 32
DS - Carter - 8-17-11
DS2- Sawyer - 9-5-14#C3 - EDD - 11-29-16
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February 8th, 2012, 11:25 AM
MommytoaMiracle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Location: North Carolina
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That video TOTALLY made me cry!
How amazing!

I hold miracle baby stories very close to my heart because it's a road I have been on & it's always so nice to see happy endings.

My DH & I TTC for 3 years. We had 4 losses, one being 13 weeks along. We did numerous fertility treatments, surgeries, etc & eventually gave up & our adopted miracle came along.

I would LOVEEE to have another baby & give Savannah a sister/brother but will never put myself through all of that again, so we have decided to stay off the BCP & see what happens. If we get pregnant, it will be amazing but if it never happens for us, I will chalk it up to "it wasn't meant to be".

If you want another baby, I say go for it! If it's meant to happen, it will! It truly is a decision only you can make. I wish you the best in whatever you decide!
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February 8th, 2012, 01:05 PM
Rachel's Avatar Just Rachel
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((hugs)) Cindi! It's such a tough decisions. For me because I will be 40 this year and because we have 6 between us, I knew Keelan would be my last, but if I were just having my first at this age, I would be so torn too. I guess if you don't feel done, you're not done, kwim?
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February 8th, 2012, 02:25 PM
~Rae~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
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Posts: 7,531
Ask yourself which situation you would regret being in in 5 years. That usually helps me.

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February 8th, 2012, 07:26 PM
CND 424's Avatar First Time Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: IL
Posts: 950
Aww, you girls have me in tears now!!! Thanks so much for the wonderful advice and support. I have alot to think about and DH and I will have to do some soul searching. I know that I am not ready to close the door for sure but my fear is that DH is. Not saying I wouldn't be happy with just having Arianna but I do think I will regret not trying for the second. I have a little time to think about it so we will see what happens. I'm sure what's meant to be will happen just like it did this time. Thanks again and you all are so great. I wish I could be on here more to offer more support. That's another thing is that I would have to probably quit my demanding job as well if we had a second child or find something different or part time.

Cindi (40) married to Dan (40) since 04/99
TTC 04/99-04/02; 4/00-04/02 did (2) IUI's & (4) IVF's; NTNP ever since!
BFP on 12/20/10 and our little miracle was born 8/19/11!!!

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February 9th, 2012, 09:12 AM
imRockysgal's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,007
What a beautiful video.

You'll only regret the children you don't have.

Amy ... Mama to
Gabriella (9) .. Liliana (8)
Josefina (5) .. Marciano (4)
Baby Mateo Augustine 08/25/11

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February 9th, 2012, 09:40 AM
HeatherLopez's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Posts: 4,434
seriously.... that video made me ball my eyes out. It was so beautiful, and your Arianna is such a miracle.
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February 9th, 2012, 10:37 AM
Just_Marie's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 28,175
awww, you made me cry.
We had infertility and now I have this crazy number of kids who drive me wild each day, but I would absolutely go through all of it again to get each and every one of them. They were worth all of the bfns, our m/c at 14 weeks, failed iui/ivf, adoption fears/tears--they were worth each tear shed for them.

You will never regret having another child, but one day you might regret not having another one.

We have a TTC older members board here with great ladies, come join

Lucky mother to five!

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