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Overprotective..? warning long

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By Julka

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February 13th, 2013, 11:02 AM
kazarmo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,354
I think I am and I'm not sure if I should change or not. So advice is needed.

Most of you know that I have a 16 year old daughter, and I was very overprotective with her. However I allowed her to do lots of things I would just come to her aide and speak up for her in a bad situation. At one point when she was very young and a child was being mean to her I told the child to stop and that is not how we treat other people. This child was much older and knew better. This happened here and there periodically.

When a situation at a certain school didn't change I changed her school. I felt it was in her best interest due to safety concerns. ( a 5th grader picking on a kindergardner) 5th grader bigger then me etc etc.

I tend to believe my kid over yours, I try to listen and find the right from the wrong and go from there. This worked out well for my oldest and I- because she knew if she had a problem she could come to me and I would give her my opinion or help her fix it. Or call the school. Which I did many times over the years when I felt things were unjust.
So as my oldest has gotten older I haven't had to protect her as much. She is her own protector. She can kill you with her words if she wanted. She has never been suspended for being in a fight or been called to office for causing commotion etc. I tried to always make sure the situations were handled before anything became out of hand.

So this brings me to Lina.

I started Lina in a preschool/playgroup that I paid for through a school district a few miles from me. The 1st class we missed because we enrolled late. the 2nd class was cancelled due to weather. The 3rd class we showed up. Lina loved the class, she enjoyed the dancing, the reading, the running around the room and all the new toys. The problem? Another child closer in age to 2 kept pushing her down. To where Lina would literally fall down. I was never more then a few feet away from Lina the entire time but this boy would always go after her and push her. The boys mother was never near the boy and actually never saw this occur. Other mothers noticed and shook their head and I was really starting to get ticked off.
I would take lina away from the boy so it wouldn't keep happening. During circle time when Lina and I were sitting next to the boy Lina was just standing and staring at him and the boy went to try and shove her down by the head. The mom did stop him at this point but he kept trying to do it (she spoke another language so I'm not sure what she was saying to her son)

Because of this I pulled Lina out of the class and got my money back. I know that Lina enjoyed it but I was expecting to have kids closer to Lina's age in there and most of the kids seemed to be at least 2. I was told that no all of the kids were not 2 yet and all still one. Well a one year old doesn't speak in complete sentences and they are not a foot taller then my kid.

Was I in the wrong?
I did ask that they explain to the teacher that it wasn't her, but the classroom kids I wasn't comfortable with.

Will I always be this way, I don't want to stop my child from having fun but I don't want them to be hurt either and it's my job to protect them.

dd15 born weighing 6 pds 2 ounces, 19 inches. 12-3-96
dd9 months born weighing 6 pds 5 ounces, 19 1/2 inches. 12-22-2011
Expecting baby #3 ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!!! woot woot

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February 13th, 2013, 12:13 PM
ratladee's Avatar Madison Marie, My Sweet P
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Fort Leavenworth, KS
Posts: 3,387
I don't think you're over protective at all! I don't think Lina should have to leave because of that kid, the kid should leave because he is the one that is pushing her down. I definitely would have confronted the mother about it and got the supervisor involved. It would break my heart to see another kid hurt my Pea so I can only imagine how you felt. And we are allowed to feel that way hello we have extra hormones right now! So it's totally understandable.

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February 13th, 2013, 12:17 PM
sareymac's Avatar Mommy to Gary & Adalyn
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: OCNY
Posts: 6,445
Hmm. I dont think you were wrong. it's our job to protect our children. If no one would do anything about the other kid, then you really have no choice.
I don't know if you remember when I was having an issue with my son and a 4 year old hitting him and yelling at him that kid was kicked outta the sitters house and never came back. If he hadn't been. I would have found someone else, even though he loved it, it cant happen. But thats just MY opinion.

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February 13th, 2013, 01:09 PM
kazarmo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 1,354
I see where you ladies are coming from but I felt like the outsider.
Most of these ladies acted like they knew each other at some point. I didn’t want to be the one blacklisted for pointing out an issue. I wasn’t all that excited about the class though because it did end up being like a 20 min drive away and the kids seemed a lot older. So the pushing was the main reason I pulled Lina out but not the only reason.

I guess I will always be this way. Just in the past I have spoken up many times and I can be a b&*^% when it comes to my kids but sometimes things are not taken care of the way that I want them to be. So I make the situation go away.

Sarah I remember your situation with the 4 year old. I’m glad it worked out for you. I think of the sitter in that situation trying to do right by both families and keeping the kids safe. I wonder if the kid just had his own set of issues that he needed to work through..

dd15 born weighing 6 pds 2 ounces, 19 inches. 12-3-96
dd9 months born weighing 6 pds 5 ounces, 19 1/2 inches. 12-22-2011
Expecting baby #3 ANOTHER GIRL!!!!!!! woot woot

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February 13th, 2013, 06:44 PM
Posts: n/a
Being as you don't really like the class anyway, I would let it go. But if you did like it and the location wasn't that far away, I would have spoken up. I am not usually an aggressive person, but if you ask my husband, he has seen me get into vocal arguments with moms at the playground because their kid was acting like a bully and the mom just... stood there. No one bullies my kids!!!
Snookums and ratladee like this.
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February 14th, 2013, 02:05 PM
Loves Kate!
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 652
I would have probably done the same thing. If he had just done it once I would have let it go but multiple times is not right!

Born 11/19/11
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