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Potty Training my 3.5 year old is going to send me over the edge!!!

Forum: 2011 Playroom


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March 24th, 2015, 11:11 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Severn, MD
Posts: 724
First off, I have two beautiful babies. My DD was born 11/9/11 and my DS was born 7/4/14...My DD is brilliant. So super smart...she knows HOW to use the potty and WHEN to use the potty. She started before DS was born, I wasn't all crazy about getting her potty trained because she did show resistance. But the thing is, as long as no one was watching or paying attention she would go and use the potty. First time she ever used it I did the happy dance and made a fool of myself going happy crazy for her, just for her to start wailing and crying and screaming NOOOOO. She has issues with being the center of attention. We can't even sing happy birthday to her without her crying. So anyways, fast forward to now. 2 in diapers. An 8mo and a 3.5 yo...Its time. I'm tired of her coming up to me knowing she stinks and then when I ask her if she pooped she will tell me she doesn't feel good with a HUGE smile on her face. So about 3 days ago I told her that the Potty Fairy came and took her diapers away because she need to teach her little brother how to be a big boy. She loves to be mommy's helper. Except when it comes to sitting on the potty. So the first day, I let her run around sans pants/panties/diaper and she went one time on the potty. Silly me, I tried to give her a high five and she ran away crying and hid under my bed. So then the next day, she stayed at MILs house. I sent the potty and MULTIPLE changes of clothing because my FIL and BILs have a thing about naked baby girls. (They leave the room if I change her diaper or block there eyes, silly men.) So that day went fine, she had one accident, even after repeatedly asking her to sit on the potty throughout the day. She just refuses, or says she doesn't have to go. If you force her to sit on the potty and give her ipad/phone/toys etc to play with she still cries. Yesterday, my MIL said she had an accident in the kitchen, she knew she was going to pee because she sent MIL away (rude!)....MIL told her that she only had one more change of clothes to wear and that they were going out so she couldn't pee in her pants. She HAD to use the potty. DD agreed and didn't have an accident in the 8 hours that they were out. But she also refused to sit on the potty or even have a conversation about sitting on the potty. So yesterday, when MIL dropped her back off, I asked her to please sit on the potty and watch cartoons or play with my phone, eat a piece of candy...ANYTHING to get her to sit. Nope. Nada. Nothing.

She then went about her business and peed in her pants. And then hides. I just don't get it. This morning, when she got up I put her in pants and undies right away and she was fine. I thought maybe today would be the day. Fast Forward 3 hours later and multiple scream fits from me forcing her onto the potty and she comes down stairs with out pants or undies on. She threw them down the laundry chute. So, she knows she isn't suppose to go in her pants, she knows when she HAS to go, and where to go, she just WONT.

We have tried: (over the last year and a half)
1. Bribes
2. Reward chart w/ stickers
3. Training Videos
4. Books
5. 30 minute timer
6. leaving her to decide
7. CLothes on
8. Clothes off
9. New potty (now have 2)
10. talking about it (doesn't go very far except that she tells us "she doesn't want to")

I have tried being calm, tried being rational...but I am about to lose my dang mind. She wants to go to school but they wont take her in the Pre-K class in the fall unless she is potty trained. I have told her this multiple times and she just doesn't care.

Can someone please please please tell me I am not alone in this endeavor? I mean the kid can go almost 10 hours holding it...so much so she can get to the point where she is in pain and can't go so we have to put her in a tub of warm water.

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March 31st, 2015, 03:32 PM
Join Date: Mar 2015
Posts: 1
I have been having a very similar problem with my almost 4 year old son. No matter what I do, he refuses to stop doing whatever it is he's doing to tell someone he has to go potty. He'd rather sit in dirty underwear or a dirty diaper than tell me that he has to go. He'll go pee if I sit him on the toilet and every once in awhile he'll poop. He constantly says he doesn't want to or that he can't. I go over it everyday with him, saying that big boys go potty on the toilet and even make him repeat it. I've tried bribery with stickers and jelly beans and ice cream (after 7 stickers) but nothing has worked....I feel like I'm a failure because he's almost 4 and he still can't go a day without not having an accident....I'm at a loss and everyone keeps telling me to just keep the training constant but at this rate, I feel like he will never get out of this....I've looked up how to potty train so many times it makes my head hurt but nothing works....I've even been told he'll do it on his own time but I'm almost embarrassed to take him to daycare because I know he'll have an accident or two and everyone else in his class comes and goes to the bathroom like they were born going in the toilet lol.
I feel your frustration and I wish there was something we could do....
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