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How do you deal with your IL's?

Forum: Interracial Families


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  • 1 Post By Ember Rose

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July 30th, 2011, 08:06 PM
mshah's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,255
Handling the in law's is difficult enough, but factor in interracial families and we have a whole new ballgame. I thought it might be nice to perhaps share any stories, experiences, issues, etc we have in handling these kinds of situations. Any takers? Let's liven up this board!!!!

Thank you GraysMama for my siggy!

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August 13th, 2011, 09:37 PM
Perfectly~Flawed's Avatar ♥ Proud Potterhead! ♥
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Well, being a single mother I haven't experienced much with them. Anyway, FOB's mom passed away shortly after we found out we were pregnant and since then his father distanced himself. /shrugs.

Before then, never had any issues!

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August 19th, 2011, 07:32 AM
Join Date: Aug 2011
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There are no afriican-american people in the town my husband is from so when we first got engaged I was really scared to meet his family beacuse people re so ignorant and cruel and judgemental but when I met them; they are a very loving and kind and christain family who treated me great. The only person who had a prob with my race was his ex wife; but i don't really care. it's a tad hurtful but I feel sorry for her; I know its wrong to be racist and I can't believe someone can have that way of thinking. But his family is awesome; I am very grateful for that.
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August 26th, 2011, 06:44 PM
JustLiz's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: East Coast
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I feel very lucky that I get along so well with my in-laws. My FIL is a bit older (late 70's!) and kind of traditional, so he's not very expressive with me, but he's such a loving and interesting person that I really appreciate him anyway, even though it's sometimes awkward if we're alone together for more than a couple of minutes (we run out of things to talk about). My MIL is fabulous and is helping so much with DS. Sometimes there's a little friction over minor things, but she always defers to me if I feel strongly about something (i.e. NO FORMULA for DS - only breastmilk! ). It's kind of funny because I feel like I understand them a lot better than my ex-BF's family because he was from a large Italian-American family that was very outgoing and loud and I'm from an uptight Protestant New England family, so actually the reserve and quietness of my in-laws is more familiar to me. I guess it always depends on the situation.

Thank you Vicki!

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August 27th, 2011, 05:19 PM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Columbus, IN
Posts: 90
I'm blessed that my inlaws are interracial as well as us. My DH was born from a bad situation, and both his bio dad and his mom are laotian. His adoptive dad is white. It's the only dad he's ever had. We're lucky he's as amazing as he is! So when we're out in public, it's quite funny. You see an asian woman around 40, a white man around 40, a white girl around 25 that looks 16, and an asian man around 25, and a 2 year old half asian baby. We call him our little rice cake. And with me being prego again, its even better.
My ILs are amazing. They do SO MUCH for us! After trying for YEARS to have a baby, and not getting the expected results, even after thousands of dollars and all the emotional stress of failed pregs, lost babies, and deployments... they're still strong! After losing 2 of our own, we all pretty well have stuff in common. Both DH and my FIL are army, so they understand each other. My MIL is still not extremely Americanized *I hate using that word* so she still has a lot of problems understanding things. And she's VERY VERY pushy! But she's learning just as we are.
Sonya *Mommy* Jonny *Daddy* Aiden *12.15.08* Elijah *10.17.11*
Missing you forever little ones : *Angel* Jan 2010 - 9 weeks. *Riley Jo* Oct 2010 - 19 weeks.

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January 12th, 2012, 09:26 AM
*Kiliki*'s Avatar i have absolute power
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Location: By a Cornfield, Nebraska
Posts: 26,495
no issues at all...dh's side of the family has a mixture of every race it seems! so its nice, his mom is korean and his dad is caucasion...so there def wasn't any issue with me LOL my SIL is Columbian, he has an uncle that is Puerto Rican and half African american cousins LOL

Kristy, wife to Karl 6.16.01, Mom to Raianna 12.7.00, Elyse 12.3.02 and Helena 7.20.07, step-mom to Frankie 7.3.97 and step-grandma to October 3.9.15

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January 14th, 2012, 01:33 AM
DeletedUser12345's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Seattle
Posts: 2,668
I love my in-laws! My MIL always wanted a daughter and only had two boys so she takes me shopping and we go get our hair done whenever we are in NYC. DH's extended family all in one restaurant, though.. can be a bit overwhelming because I can understand their spanish, I am just slower at responding back to them and sometimes I can't respond for lack of words. lol. DH's father I only met once or twice but he was never really in the picture and he was drunk the two times I saw him and with a much younger girlfriend.. At least I have his mother's side of the family. We went down to Puerto Rico for a couple weeks this summer and stayed in his mom's house down there and she met us there with her hubby. It is a really nice dynamic for me.
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January 22nd, 2012, 02:44 PM
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On top of them being white and me being black, they're from the North and my family is 100% Southern. It's like day and night. I try to just be polite and surprise them by being educated and not going all "crazy black girl". My husband doesn't know why I bother (hated his childhood) but I figure at some point when we hae kids it'd be nice if things weren't so tense and weird.
JustLiz likes this.
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August 4th, 2013, 05:11 PM
hugssandi's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 2,033
My MIL was my very favorite woman in all the world! She has passed, and I miss her terribly. Our problems have been with my side, but sadly I had problems well before marrying my darling.
More people fail from a lack of encouragement than anything else!~ Mrs. James Hendry

I'm a Mary in a world of Marthas~Carol Barnier

I think you are too kind. Kind people give the people around them a hard time. You can't express yourself honestly, because you are worried about hurting other people's feelings, and that makes you miserable.~"Winter Sonata"
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February 3rd, 2014, 04:35 AM
amberbanegas's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Fahad Al Ahmad, Kuwait
Posts: 1,397
I love my In Laws!!! No issue with me being SOOOO light! I am PRICAN and White but I look SUPER WHITE! They are great!

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May 12th, 2014, 12:57 PM
LUSHaye's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Colorado
Posts: 296
My inlaws...are different. It's not so much their background (Italian and English), but they're just really really REALLY nice and supportive. It's just a totally different vibe than what I'm used to. My family is big on independence and DF's family would hold your hand through anything and everything.
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