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Workaholic Husbands

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July 19th, 2011, 09:17 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 252
Does anyone else have a husband with an unpredictable job? Like, for instance, mine just called to say he was invited to dinner for work stuff tonight...which wasn't in the "plan" for today. He also works at least 60+ hours a week...and he always has his work cell...even on the weekends.

On one hand, his job is what allows me to stay home, so I'm grateful. I try to be supportive and I never get mad at him for these types of unexpected things. But on the other hand? ARRRGGGG!!! Maybe it's just the hormones but ARRRGGGG!!!!!!!

(in his defense, he said he wouldn't go if I didn't want him to... But I'd rather he go now and decline later in the pregnancy when I'm less "mobile"...)
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July 19th, 2011, 09:32 AM
KeepingFaith's Avatar *~Mom to Faith Marie~*
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 1,697
I'm sorry, my DH usually works 10-14 hour days and it sucks. Again, if he didn't I wouldn't be able to stay home with DD, but he gets home so late and it's such a long day...It can def. be hard, but it just comes with the job and I am learning to accept it.


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July 19th, 2011, 09:45 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Ohio
Posts: 4,303
DH works a lot here, also. It really goes in spurts where it is especially difficult, then eases up. Right after I had La, he was travelling all of the time and entertaining colleagues visiting from out of town. It was a lot at a time that I really wanted him home. BUT, as you both mentioned, it is his job and all of his work that allows me to work so little and spend so much time with our children. I am very thankful that he works so hard. Working too much is definitely a better problem to have than not working enough. But I definitely understand and can empathize with your stress over last minute things like the dinner tonight!

Thank you so much Kris2you for my lovely siggy!!!

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July 19th, 2011, 09:51 AM
HubbysSweetheart's Avatar Little Jo married Laurie!
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Arisona
Posts: 656
I have a husband who has to work so hard. Things are tight and so he's working two jobs, three if you add on the non-paid remodling of the house.

I really get to missing him. I can't/don't even want to- get mad because he does it all for me... now for baby too.... but it's really hard sometimes.

On the other hand, I'm not much good anyways so all he would wind up doing is sitting beside me or handing me things... or tucking covers around my neck soooo......

I'm so sorry and totally understand! At least he offered not to go if you didn't want him to!!

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July 19th, 2011, 10:05 AM
Iluvmybabies*'s Avatar Mama to 5 girls and 1 boy
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary, Alberta
Posts: 7,641
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Mine has split shifts and in the beginning they would be all over the place but now that he has some seniority it is better

Im sorry hun it can suck not having them home a lot
Matt(38)DH & soulmate for 15 1/2yrs (V-Feb 20/08 * VR-Feb 18/11)
6 time HG survivor , AP Mama to 5 GIRLS & a 1 BOY
Karrara 11 01/11/05, Kaiah 9 1/2 07/01/06, Kayda 8 01/12/08
Katara 4 02/10/12, Korra 2 1/2 10/10/13, Kannon 14mo 02/21/15
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July 19th, 2011, 10:08 AM
~Nik*Re~'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 4,954
My DH just worked 5 weeks with no day off from 4 am until 9-10 pm. it really sucks. We didnt think hed work more when be took the promotion. And it sucks that he's salary so all those hours and nothing to show for it expect a grumpy sore worn out man. We took his total monthly pay and divided it by how many hours he put in, it came up to 6.36 an hour, how horrible is that? I feel so bad for him and we are even thinking about moving back to FL so he wont have to deal with all the crap he's put through. He put in his application for a traveling gang roadmaster. He would be gone Monday thru Thursday and home every Friday thru Sunday. Is actually see him more with that kind of schedule than this 7 day a week junk. I hope he gets that, it a lot more pay too.
Thank you Jaidynsmum!

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July 19th, 2011, 10:23 AM
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Denver, CO
Posts: 252
Wow, ladies. I feel bad for even saying anything in the first place! My husband, at least, works "normal" hours (well, he leaves at 5:45am and usually gets home around 4-ish-ish)...he's lucky that he's "in charge" so he has a little more flexibility with time off for appointments, etc than it seems some of your husbands.

Where is the sheepish face icon?
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July 19th, 2011, 11:11 AM
Posts: n/a
I feel ya. My hubby is a farmer... have you ever heard that a farmers hours are from sun up till sun down.... yeah well thats pretty much it, and even later sometimes. My hubby works every single day from end March to the end of November.... I'm not kidding every single one of them. It's starts a little slower at the beginning when things are just starting but right now he works at min 12 hours every day. Our farm is open to the public and they give hayrides, especially later in the season. Come Sept/Oct. he will push around 100 hours weekly. The only way the kids see him most days is if I bring them to the barn and we follow him around for a bit. In dec. the barn closes to the public and we have Dec-Feb where he takes 2-3 days off a week. Like you said though he has his cell on at all times, and you wouldn't believe how often he gets calls. He takes one 5 day vacation in Winter where for some reason he always ends up going in to work a half day or something. I though do stay at home with the kids... we could never afford daycare anyway, not that that is even an option for me. I always wanted to be home raising my kids. Poor hubby also makes salary, even though he is the boss, and let me tell you it sure at anything much! Good thing farm owns the house and we don't have a mortgage! I can totally relate with you... hubby is a hard worker to give us everything we have. I love him for it, and miss him bunches!
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July 19th, 2011, 11:19 AM
queenofthecastle's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Fort Wayne, Indiana
Posts: 35,050
My husband normally works the same hours every day but his job is unpredictable. He's an auto damage appraiser. He never knows from one day to the next how many cars he will look at or how far he will have to drive to get to them. he can travel up to 2 hours one away from our home so it makes it hard to plan our day. I am lucky that I'm able to stay home right now because the boys wouldn't get to play sports if I went to work full time.

I hope that your hubby's schedule lets up and you both can spend some time together!!

=May '05 and '11

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July 19th, 2011, 11:44 AM
ASoldiersLuckyCharm's Avatar Three's A Charm <3
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Clarksville,Tn
Posts: 7,324
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Normally I would say yes! He is always gone but since he just got home from a deployment they are taking it easy on the guys. He is just finally getting back into his 10-13 hour days. But before they do the crazy normal we will be PCSing. Sunday he was pulling 24 hour duty and came home about 11 yesterday. He slept awhile and went to bed early he got up a little late today. It is the Army nothing is ever guaranteed. Mine lease for work at 445 to be there by 5 am and home around 5. But when they are training to deployed he is gone all the time I would prefer him to deploy because I at least get phone calls and talk on the net. But when he is training no word at all they aren't allowed phones.

We are two of a kind working on a full house

Last edited by ASoldiersLuckyCharm; July 19th, 2011 at 03:36 PM.
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July 19th, 2011, 12:01 PM
BSandDsMommy's Avatar Mommy to three boys
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2,320
Mine is works ALL the time...he sometimes goes in at 7pm and won't get home again til 7pm the next night then be back at 3am...right now they have a job that is having them work through the night so when he gets off there he comes home sleeps for a couple hours then goes and helps a guy move rocks, so we see him maybe 2hours a day right now good money, but still stinks lol also he never know when he will be off until like 15minutes before hand, he goes in at different times and gets off at different times so it is hard to plan anything and sometimes he will work weekends also
DS1: B (9/2009)
DS2: S (8/2010)
DS3: D (2/2012)

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July 19th, 2011, 01:09 PM
jen44's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,291
I guess I would be considered the "workaholic" in my ralationship. Although I have relatively normal hours, my blackberry is with me everywhere I go and emails/calls have to be returned in a timely manner.

Chloe - 6/18/09
Eli - 2/13/12
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July 19th, 2011, 01:27 PM
feythful's Avatar Proud Dec '13 DDC Co-host
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 4,923
I really sympathize with you ladies. My husband's hours are reasonable, but he travels a lot. His most recent TDY just got canceled last minute, but otherwise he would have been gone this week (The first one since Emily was born because his boss is super awesome about changing the rotation right after kids are born so the guys can see their little ones a lot when they are changing daily).

Before I quit my job, I was a teacher and I was the one working 60-70 hours a week between planning, grading, communicating with parents and tutoring. Last year I saw 180+ 10th graders everyday. It was so crazy! I'm sure your husbands hate to be away as much as you hate for them to be away. It's so hard to enjoy life when you feel like all you do is work.
Wife to sweet husband Jeff and mother to 2 beautiful girls: Emily (2) and Jocelyn (1).

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July 19th, 2011, 02:01 PM
sarha81's Avatar First-time Mommy to Jake
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: NY
Posts: 1,295
That must be pretty frustrating... My Dh works 6 am to 6 pm, 6 days a week, and the only thing that irks me is he never has a saturday free. I work 3 jobs, including owning my own photography biz, adjunct professor and a full-time job on top of that, so usually he's jealous of my time during the week. thank god for sundays.
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July 19th, 2011, 02:11 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 944
Yea, my husband has unpredictable hours, he works for a small company and he does have freedom on when he works as long as he gets it all done. Problem is he is also a little league coach and so he goes to work in the morning, leaves for baseball practice or game, then has to go back to work until everything is dine so i usually dont see him until midnight. Oh and he feels he needs to work weekends too just to get everything done.
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July 19th, 2011, 03:59 PM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
My husband works 60-80 hours every week, but he always has a general idea of when he will be home b/c he knows what all he has to do that day well in advance. He never has unexpected work things come up. If he says he will be home at a certain time, he is, if not earlier.

But he never knows when he will have weekends off until Friday because it depends on if what he didn't finish can wait until Monday or not. He almost never gets Saturday off, and only gets Sunday of half the time, in general. So, we can't plan ahead for weekend trips.

I really don't mind at all. He works very close to home, he NEVER has to go out of town for work, so he gets to come home to me every single night. And he makes enough for me to not have to work, allowing me to stay home with our baby. so, I am more grateful than anything. I miss him all day, but when he doesn't get overtime, his checks are less than half what we are used to, so I'm grateful.

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July 19th, 2011, 03:59 PM
Coby Jaylen Aubriya mom
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 906
yes my hubby works 12+ hours a day. I used to be a SAHM but after the kids started school i couldnt take it anymore. i went crazy counting down the minutes until he came home! Then when he'd get home he was so tired, now ive been working for 4.5 years so its not as hard because im only home for about 3 hours by myself which just give me time to unwind spend time with my boys and make dinner. But now he's saying he wants me to go back to being a SAHM after the baby is born, but i dont want to. We're talking about it.
Mommy to: C (12), J (11), A (2.5)... and our grand finale on the way!
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July 19th, 2011, 07:31 PM
HonestMamma's Avatar Bish!
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Cyberspace, the Interwebz
Posts: 1,830
I am sorry for you ladies. I can't relate at all. DH leaves the house around 8:15 am and is home by 5:30 pm 5 days a week. That's it... and I still miss him when he's at work. I don't know how some of you do it.

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July 20th, 2011, 07:50 AM
BrittanyLBH's Avatar (Formerly DueFeb2012)
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,970
Claire, I would definitely say that Nick and I only fight about work. That's a good point. I didn't even really think about it. The only thing he really does (short of leaving dirty clothes on the floor) that bothers me is when he comes home, takes a shower, and can't make it through one tv show without falling asleep. When you put it that way, if all he does is get exhausted from making all the money, I have it pretty great. lol <3

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