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Refusing care from a certain provider?

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  • 1 Post By Mrs_Crystal_K

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February 13th, 2012, 01:00 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 9,004
I am in a bit of a quandary. This might be a little long..but bear with me.

I had a m/c in Sept. and the midwives referred me to the OB who oversees them, who is also the head of maternity stuff at the hospital. To sum it all up, the guy is a major league a-hole, arrogant, and repeatedly told me I'd die if I didn't do what he said when he said it...and he recommended treatment that was incompatible with breastfeeding (did not tell me the risks..i found out later when i looked it up at home) when I told him my daughter was still nearly EBF. I sought a second opinion and turns out my instincts were right. His diagnosis was totally off-base. He said I had ectopic pregnancy, when I did not.....I'd already passed tissue weeks earlier and a sac was seen on u/s done by another doc, ovaries were fine. Anyways, when the midwives followed up to see what I was going to do, I told them I would not see him nor did I ever want him to make decisions about my care.

Now...I'm pregnant again. And he still is their overseeing OB. If for some reason I'd need to see an OB...if I need a c/s or other complications arise.....I am not obligated to choose him right? And if it was a last minute thing..like emergency c/s....can I refuse to be treated by him? I really don't want him ever touching me.

And then...I had another OB show up during the birth of baby #2. My midwife wasn't there yet and the nurses were getting worried so they called him in til she got there. She got there just in time for a few pushes and to catch the baby. Anyways..while this guy was there..he was an ***. I was in the water birth tub and he demanded I get out of the water. I couldn't move with my contractions. He threatened me. He said he was going to inject me with a drug to make labor stop if I didn't get out of the water. I still ignored him, so he had the nurses drag me out. I'd like him to never come near me again either. Even my husband thought his treatment was uncalled for, and he said he wanted to "beat the **** out of him" (obviously he did not..) for treating me as he did.

Can I specify that these doctors aren't allowed to treat me? Would that be insane? I think I will have a talk with my midwife at my next appointment...but its really been bugging me lately. Chances are I will not run into them, but who knows what can happen.

Has anyone else run into a similar situation? What did you do?

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February 13th, 2012, 01:25 PM
Mrs_Crystal_K's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Parker, CO
Posts: 585
Absolutely! And I wouldn't even stop at that! I would have sent a complaint to their superiors, or the hospital, or something. So uncalled for!
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** Crystal **

Diagnosed with Stage II Hodgkin's Lymphoma on 3/23/12 at 13w1d pregnant.
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February 13th, 2012, 01:27 PM
YumPickles's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 330
You can definitely request (or demand) not to be treated by those doctors unless there is a severe emergency and absolutely no one else is available. Make sure your midwife knows and it is written in your chart. I would consider filing formal complaints against those doctors for the way you were treated.

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February 13th, 2012, 01:32 PM
GiftsfromGod's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 5,686
I had a VERY bad experience with the OB who delivered my DD. While I am still going back to that practice I made sure they knew not to schedule me to see him. I do not think I will be in this area when I deliver but if we were and he was the OB on call I have already told my DH that we would request an OB from a different practice to deliver my baby and deal with the financial/insurance mess later because I do not want him seeing me ever again.

Also we had a terrible L&D nurse last time and if she was assigned to us we would be asking for a different nurse (let's just say overall the delivery was awful with a terrible nurse and terrible doctor) and I never want that to happen again. Maybe I'm getting too picky but after several deliveries I know what a doctor and nurse should and should not be doing to you and for you. I tend to be a pretty laid back don't rock the boat kind of person but after my last delivery that changed and I will stand up for the care I deserve to get.
Ruth - Mommy to S (miscarried at 10 weeks), W (9yrs), J (8 yrs), E (6yrs), F (4yrs), D (3yrs), &C (passed away 6 1/2 hrs after birth) & expecting another sweet baby March 2018

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February 13th, 2012, 01:42 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
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That sounds absolutely horrible. Is there another hospital/midwifery practice within a reasonable distance to your home? I would first try to avoid them by going to a different facility.

My mom fired a doctor once while attending his private practice. He was on rounds in the hospital where she was having surgery and a nurse called him in on a consult. She insisted that he not even look at her chart, and was not allowed to have a single word of say in her care. (She's really assertive when it comes to these sorts of things.) The problem was fortunately not an emergency, but there was no other specialist around to provide the consultation so it added an extra day to her hospital stay and caused some liability-related issues that had other hospital staff all riled up.

I say this because while the OBs may have the bedside manner of a rabid elephant, the hospital is more interested in you not dying than in your happiness, and I am (sadly) not hopeful that a letter to the OB's superiors will improve the conditions of your labor. (Though, I hope that it does!)
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February 13th, 2012, 02:13 PM
JulieMc's Avatar Loving my babies. :)
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Originally Posted by d_tops View Post
That sounds absolutely horrible. Is there another hospital/midwifery practice within a reasonable distance to your home? I would first try to avoid them by going to a different facility.
There are tons of hospitals and providers to choose from...but... I adore my midwife and I really like the hospital facilities...they have a holistic birth center where you don't have be hooked up to IVs or have continuous fetal monitoring, they have a birth tub, etc. No one else has anything like that around here..and besides that stupid OB, my birth experience was awesome. I don't want to see another provider..I just want to make sure that there's no chance I'll find myself in a situation where these other jokers would be in charge of my care. I'd sooner deliver my baby myself in the parking lot. lol.

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February 13th, 2012, 02:37 PM
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 14
What happened to you was nothing short of abuse. I hope you file a formal complaint against the doctor who had the nurses drag you out of the tub. You are a free, autonomous human being and just because you're pregnant doesn't mean your rights go out the window. You have to right to accept or decline any treatment or recommendation. It's a basic human right and no one has the right to deny you it.

Why did you need to get out of the tub? Tons of babies are born in water. Mine last one was. What's sad is that birth in our country is so screwed up now that many accept this sort of abuse as "normal". Just because it's common doesn't mean it's normal. If doctors and hospitals all truly had our best interests at heart (speaking generally, I know the are exceptions as evidenced by practice variation), rather than their own convenience and bottom line, we wouldn't have these sky high induction and cesarean rates. We also wouldn't be losing more moms than 49 other countries. They would never, ever use cytotec to induce. The list goes on...

Sorry for the rant. I had a bad hospital experience that put my baby and I in danger unnecessarily. It's turned me into an activist of sorts and helped to me find my voice. Find your voice. If possible, I would try and go all the way to the top to make sure that jerk doesn't have any contact with you this time. Have it put in your file or something. Just because someone wears a white coat and has an acronym attached to their name doesn't mean they have the right to bully, threaten, demean, or put their hands on you. I would love to see him try and treat a man that way, I know he's an OB and that would never happen, but I guarantee you that bedside manner wouldn't fly. Remember, YOU are the customer. You pay them. They work for you. Of course you can specify who is allowed to treat you. And if they don't respect that, take your money somewhere where they will.

Big hugs and best of luck to you.
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February 13th, 2012, 02:59 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 591
I had a terrible experience with one of the doctors in my OB's practice. She was on call when I went into labor with my third baby, and I labored at home until she went home, and then went in. I had already decided that I would birth the baby at home and then go to the hospital if that happened before the doctors were switched at the hospital.

If I were you, I'd tell your midwives. You CAN refuse their care, and without a court order they cannot force you to do anything, or let them touch you. If it was a true emergency C-section, you may not have a choice, but you are definitely allowed to have a preference.
Breast feeding, formula feeding, baby wearing, stroller pushing, VBAC successful, video game playing, extended rear facing, extended harnessing, mac and cheese feeding, vaccine free, happily married, LDS mother to 3 beautiful children. And now you know everything about me.

My Blog - Thoughts from Momland, where the mountain dew is cold, the kids are loud, and the laughs are endless.[/CENTER]
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February 13th, 2012, 06:45 PM
Kierasmom's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 23,763
You have the right as a patient to refuse any care you don't want!

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