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February 26th, 2012, 11:54 AM
Chevy_Gurl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 821
For the past 8 months we thought hubs was going to be medboarded out of the Army. Then within the last month he worked his arse off to get it changed and be allowed to get a reclass in jobs so that he wouldn't be hurting himself as much as he does in artillery. We found out that he got it, he was going to be leaving for school in April and be gone till Oct and then we would have been moving to Ft. Hood. He was going to miss the birth of Kernel while it sucked horribly at the thought of it, I just sucked it up and accepted it.

Friday rolls around, we spent the morning looking at possible rentals in TX, making lists of what to sell and get rid of in the house before he leaves, vacation plans for the move out there, etc. I leave at noon to pick up A2 from school come home and find out the bad news to his new pending orders. He will come home in Oct, we move in Oct and the unit he's going to has been on downtime this year and is set to leave around the beginning of 2013.

That would mean he would miss the birth, miss pretty much all of the first year and come home when Kernel would be almost 2 years old. It was alot to take in, but being a military wife for 12 years I figured okay I can make do and others have done worse then this. We'll be okay.

And that my friends is when he dropped the ball. He's not reupping. He's not going to school. He's going to get out this winter as his contract with the Army will be up. I know some wives would be jumping for joy but not me. My panic attacks the past 2.5 days have been through the roof. I can't think of a single positive thing about being a civi again. I know there are positive things but for some reason I just can't see them.

We've done the civi life. It sucked. We struggled to make it every month. We are finally at a point where we can pay off past debt, current bills, and still have left over splurging money.

I know I'm being immature about this but right now I just want to throw myself on the bed and cry till he has a job in hand, a house big enough to fit us all, and we're there back to the point we are at now. <-- not possible I know

So yeah. I know it'll work out but this weekend has just sucked horribly, in my mind at least. No matter what choice he makes there is going to have to be a lot of sacrifice in our family.
...Proud Army Wife & Mom
... (A 09/98) ... (S 5/00) ...(T 5/01) ...
... (S2 9/06)... (A2 01/09) ... (A 7/2/12)

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February 26th, 2012, 11:59 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: The Mitten
Posts: 4,780
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February 26th, 2012, 12:22 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,128
((hugs)) change is scary. I hope the adjustment goes easier then you expect back to civilian life. The military is a way of life and perfectly normal to panic/not be happy about that change.
Mommy to H (6) and E (brand new)
4 Angels gone too soon

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February 26th, 2012, 02:09 PM
kemper2.0's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,259
Oh my! Chelle, that is a ton to take in. I know this has to be so, so scary for you AND for your family. A good thing about returning to civi life is that now he has 12 years of military experience under his belt and that really will help him in finding a job suitable for your needs. You are now free to move wherever you want as well! No more of the military telling you where to move and when to be there. He will be home for little Kernel's birth and all of the important, young milestones.
I know it's a big step and it will certainly take some adjusting, but I really do think it will turn out for the best. Just remember to take a deep breath and remember that in the end, everything works out. There is no other option than for it to
You will be in my prayers

Kat, mommy to Gideon (9-8-10) and Arie (7-6-12), and Evangeline River (3-27-14)

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February 26th, 2012, 02:37 PM
mommy2lilmen's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Delta, BC Canada
Posts: 2,925
Mommy to 7 boys and 1 girl!
Sean 19, Justin 16, Kevin 14, Jayson 13, Bryce 7, Seth 6, Kade 4 & Alyssa 3
4 babies 94,95,99, 08~TL April 2003 & Sept 2013 TR May 2008

Blessed with 1 son with Autism and 1 daughter with Down Syndrome child she was also born with Pulmonary Hypertension, Oxygen dependence, complete AVSD, Hirschsprungs, GJ tube dependant and many more health issues
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February 26th, 2012, 06:47 PM
txmumx4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 1,254
I am sorry I'd beat my husband but that's me. Luckily though when I call him crying about two times a week lately in this madness he left me with while he's at school begging and pleading for him to return to civi life he reminds me he is a lifer and with this day and age the military is a steady paycheck and provides us the best lifestyle to provide for children (medical wise). I would be panicing as well (I know I am no help). Maybe he will change his mind?
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February 26th, 2012, 06:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 1,199
I have no advise...i hope you guys get it figured out!! (((hugs)))
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February 26th, 2012, 07:18 PM
forest's Avatar Cara, Mom to two girls
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Northern California
Posts: 14,098
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I would be really nervous too! My DH and I are both federal employees and love it. Awesome health benefits and retirement. (we have the TSP like your DH does) Right now they are really working hard to hire vets into the federal workforce.

Thank you Natalie (MrsStuartD) for my Beautiful Siggy!!!

~Cara, Mom to Elizabeth (12/5/07) and Alison (8/12/10)~~
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February 26th, 2012, 08:28 PM
Christin's Avatar William's Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Washington
Posts: 429
Has he thought about switching services or going guard? Federal Air Force has shorter deployments than Army. Just a thought, sorry I understand it's a huge adjustment. I left federal active duty in '07 and just recently left the state guard right before I found out I was PG. I'm still getting used to be a 'civilian'.

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February 26th, 2012, 08:38 PM
Chevy_Gurl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 821
Thanks guys. I guess I just needed to hear I'm not looney for feeling so unhappy about this choice.

He was in the Navy before the Army so he's pretty much stuck w/ the Army or a federal job. We talked some more today. He promises to go reserves so we can still have our insurance even though we'll have to pay a copay. Still better then nothing since Im on anxiety meds and refuse to go off them. I work full time thankfully from home so my income is still there. He will get a decent amount of unemployment until he finds a job.

He's looking at the Trooper force back home or local departments in and around Washington. He's got a plan. I'm just nervous and scared. Scared we'll go through the same bs we went through when he got out of the Navy before joining the Army.

Like my MIL reminded today, if I keep holding his past bad choices against him how will he ever succede for the future. She's right. He's not the same immature idiot he was back then. He's got a goal plan. We have a temp place to live until we find a place to rent or he gets hired and then we can buy whereever they place him.

We're paying his debt off and it should be almost entirely gone minus school loans by the time he gets out we'll be able to refinance my SUV for lower payments.

We have a plan. Now I just have to stay positive on this plan that's pinned to the wall in our bedroom till December.

For now I'm going back to baby planning mode for something to focus on
...Proud Army Wife & Mom
... (A 09/98) ... (S 5/00) ...(T 5/01) ...
... (S2 9/06)... (A2 01/09) ... (A 7/2/12)

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February 26th, 2012, 08:39 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Sonoma County, CA
Posts: 1,202
Oh Chelle! Yikes! I think I would have an all out panic attack if my husband decided to get out! He was toying with it at our last station because it SUCKED! Thankfully he is now planning on doing at least 20 (he's halfway there) Tell him to stick it out till 20! The Coast Guard is a great alternative.... just saying.
DD1 born July 31,2008
DD2 born June 25th, 2012
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February 26th, 2012, 10:05 PM
rckymtnfox's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 164

THANK YOU to brie_91 for my awesome siggy!

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February 27th, 2012, 12:24 PM
Expecting #1
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 369
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February 27th, 2012, 08:28 PM
LadyBugMommyof1's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 7,211
I hope he is able to secure a job and everything will work out well.
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