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July 10th, 2012, 07:44 PM
txmumx4's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: United States
Posts: 1,254
...if at all to stay connected to dh/so after lil one(s) arrive?

I know when we went from none to one it was the hardest strain on our relationship. He felt he wasn't needed or as loved becuz all my time, energy, and affection went to baby. It's true it did but so many other factors played vital roles too. It was a breeze balancing our relationship and new baby when #2 came along and no change at all with #3. We still stay up at night and have our adult time where we talk to each other, watch tv, laugh, joke etc We spend our day time doing family activities with both enjoy instead of just focusing on the two of us like we did before. We flirt randomly thru out the day and try to tease each other for what "bedtime" may have in store but the sad truth is 98% of the time it's head to pillow and nothing we whispered about during the day haha It works for us though
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July 11th, 2012, 06:18 AM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,433
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I really don't know . I know my SO is a little concerned I'll "forget" about him. That would never happen.

I think making him an involved as possible with the baby is a good way to start. That way he definitely feels needed.

In fact, there's honestly so much to do around here I don't know how he won't feel needed, its beyond the capability of one person to take care of it. I hope his mom doesn't get in the way and take all the tasks from him though >.<

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July 11th, 2012, 08:40 AM
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 21
That is definitely a tough question. And, I think you're right-it's probably hardest after the first child to find some balance as you're both used to it being just the two of you. Once you get over that initial hump, I think it gets easier when you have other kids. But, obviously, finding time for just the two of you is always important-for example, getting a baby sitter once in a while and trying to have date nights. Of course, that's not the only way to keep intimacy alive as txmum4 mentioned. In fact, I heard a broadcast about this topic while working at Focus on the Family that I thought had some good suggestions. It's called "Adjusting Your Marriage to a New Baby" and I believe it's still available on their website. There's also a book that might be helpful called Your Marriage Can Survive a Newborn by Glenn Williams and Natalie Williams. You can probably find it online or at the library, but I thought it had some good material on strengthing your marriage during the chaos of parenthood! So, just my two cents!
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July 11th, 2012, 09:31 PM
Well_Okay's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 710
I'm actually more worried dh is going to become baby obsessed and forget about me. He's a sucker for warm cuddly things and being his first baby he's already enamored. When he's officially home we'll keep our date in nights that we had before he left. Though we'll have a newborn in the room we can watch movies and cuddle

Mommy to DS 9 and DD 8. Happily Married to my best friend
Nikolai born July 18, 2012
“Because,' she said, 'when you're scared but you still do it anyway, that's brave.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

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July 12th, 2012, 07:28 AM
kemper2.0's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 4,259
I have honestly never felt closer or more in love with my husband than I do right now.

As PPs have mentioned, it's always harder with the first child because it really is a huge adjustment going from just the two of you to having a new little time sucker hanging around.

This time around DH is in a really great place at work where he is on hold in between schooling so we get to spend all day every day together and it has been wonderful. We also have our parents visiting and free baby sitters are always a plus!!

We find time together every day to just sit and chat about how we are doing. We flirt constantly and also be sure to have plenty of alone time as well.

Lately we have been staying up late playing Call of Duty 3... weird, I know. It's just nice to do something not 'baby related'.

Kat, mommy to Gideon (9-8-10) and Arie (7-6-12), and Evangeline River (3-27-14)

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July 13th, 2012, 10:39 AM
ohfiddleheads's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Salt Spring Island, BC, Canada
Posts: 1,236
So far it's been great with DH. He doesn't seem to have changed much, but he sure is a sucker for his little girl. He does anything I ask of him, but I'm trying to ask for less because I'm both at a point in my recovery where I can do more and he's going to back to work on Monday so I need to exercise a little independence. But he's been super helpful, perhaps a little distant in that he still plays his video games, but I don't blame him because as much as he plays the worry-free, stoic one this adjustment is just as big for him as it is for me so I let him have that down time. I also let him sleep unless he tells me to sleep because he's not very useful if he's a sleep deprived sack of hammers

Hannah Elizabeth born June 30, 2012
via Cesarean due to breech presentation
7 lbs 15 oz, 20.5 in
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