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  • 2 Post By anna.rose
  • 1 Post By Miss Kelly
  • 1 Post By taatie10

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July 16th, 2012, 08:21 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 831
Hey ladies! I know I don't post her super often but I need some advice for a problem I'm having.

Ok, so I have a friend whom I've known since high school. We've been good friends since then but lately something seems like it's off in our relationship. I've tried to contact her to get together at least three times and I either get no response or minimal response. I don't think there are any issues in her life that would keep her distanced.

So, should I ask her what's going on or sever the ties and get on with things?

Thank you so much for your advice! It will help me so much, as this has been bugging me for a long time now.

mommy to Isla (11), Roma (9.5), Ruby (7.5), Harper (5), Liam (3.5), Norah (2), Noah & Max (1)

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July 16th, 2012, 08:28 PM
anna.rose's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 2,064
Confront her first and then cut ties. Don't attack her and definitely tell her you're feeling a little sad that your relationship doesn't seem as strong as it once was and ask if there's something you can do to remedy it. Give it some time after that and then leave the ball in her court. If she doesn't put forth any extra effort just sever ties.
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July 16th, 2012, 08:37 PM
Miss Kelly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,036
I would absolutely ask first! It'll be an awkward conversation but a long term friendship is worth a few tense moments! Who knows, it could just be crazy busy life. Good luck.
Gripstress likes this.
Proud wife to Zach
& Mommy to Victoria Rose December 10, 2012

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July 17th, 2012, 12:49 AM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 5,895
I would ask her whats going on, or if there is something going on. Depending on the answer then just give her space or cut the ties.

I've have a friend for years, she goes through weird phases where she doesnt seem to want anything to do with me so I let her be and she gets in contact with me when she wants.
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July 17th, 2012, 07:43 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Proud Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9,029
Yep, I would talk to her and see what's going on.
Cassie, wife to Andrew, mommy to Sophia (5), Landon (2) and expecting baby #3 in June!

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July 17th, 2012, 01:30 PM
MarlowesMum's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 2,406
It really depends on your particular relationship. If she's a really good friend, I say broach the subject. I had to do this with a HS friend at one point too because I was feeling very hurt. So without anger, I emailed her and said that I wasn't sure if she had an issue with me, or if I had missed something, but that I felt like she was purposefully distancing herself and that I needed to know if I had somehow hurt her feelings. She was extremely apologetic and fell all over herself to make sure I knew it wasn't me. After that, her loner proclivities didn't affect me as much; I had made it known that I still wanted to be in contact with her, and that was all that I could do.

I have other friends that I have essentially written off as just not worth my time anymore. There are some people who NEED to stay in contact (like me, for instance) - and others who don't. Figuring out who belongs in which group goes a long way towards making your peace with those people who don't have the same sensitivities as yourself. When you are of the former group, at some point you make the realization that YOU have to be the one to maintain most contacts, otherwise it just won't happen. If you can live without the person - then you lose touch. If you really truly want them in your life, then you have to make peace with the fact that it will probably always be you that initiates contact.
Maggie - Proud Mommy to 2 Girls

Last edited by MarlowesMum; July 17th, 2012 at 01:32 PM.
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July 17th, 2012, 01:50 PM
Gripstress's Avatar GothMom
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tulare, CA
Posts: 2,319
Agreed with all above...Give her a chance first and then the ball is in her court. Sometimes life gets tough and you get busy. I have a bad habit of not keeping constant contact and I think I hurt people by accident. Some people need more contact than others... I also get depressed and withdraw alot but it's not a reflection of anyone but me. I'd just ask and give her a shot.
Wife of 18 years to Anthony
Mommy to 4 daughters Elinore 05/27/95,
Phoenix 12/14/01, Pascale 06/03/05
& baby Wren on 12/10/12

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