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Shower Etiquette

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  • 1 Post By hilhillrn
  • 1 Post By Becky_78

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August 16th, 2012, 08:12 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,589
Ok....I've never had a baby shower before and I have a couple questions. My friend offered to throw me one which is awesome. I'm feeling a little guilty because there is going to be probably 30 people there. I'm not sure even how much it costs but I feel guilty with her spending money to do this. Also, I don't know if she wants to do it at her house. She asked me if I wanted to meet somewhere for dinner but I told her I didn't want to. Maybe I'm feeling a little guilty because here she is dealing with fertility problems and throwing a baby shower. Anyway, is it uncouth for me to offer her money? Should I get her like a gift card or something??
Also, I only registered at Target and it only has 44 things on it. I looked at a friends and hers had close to 80! Are you supposed to register at more than one place???


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August 16th, 2012, 09:53 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,259
I guess it's usually considered proper to give the hostess a nice "thank you" gift or gift card or something. And the registry... It depends. The showers I have been to (unless there is a ton of family there, of course) are mostly just clothes, blankets, and diapers. I dont think most people even look at a registry. I know I dont when I go to showers. (oops! lol) Maybe that's a regional thing, though...
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August 16th, 2012, 10:07 PM
Becky_78's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: NYC, NY
Posts: 2,002
If your friend offered to throw you one, it's because she wants to - I defo wouldn't feel guilty! That being said, my sister (also my MOH at my wedding) is throwing mine and currently unemployed...I feel super guilty. I talked to my mom about it and she said I could contribute to the cost on the sly if I really wanted to...

As for the registry - I always look at and buy off the registry. I like to get things people want - and the stuff listed on the registry is super easy to return even without a gift receipt. For the same reason, I would put the things you really want on your registry - even if they are not purchased for you, some stores will actually give you a discount to "finish out" the registry as your EDD gets close. And although options are sometimes useful in terms of locations (maybe different price points? one closer to the majority of your guests & one easier for online orders?) - I don't think it necessary
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August 16th, 2012, 10:31 PM
Gripstress's Avatar GothMom
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Tulare, CA
Posts: 2,319
I would say that it depends on what type of friend she is too. Would she be insulted if you helped with costs and/or location? If not, then go ahead and pitch in but if she would be hurt/upset with the help then obviously no. Besides, if/when she does have a baby or adopt, you can throw her a shower. I would definately do a thank you gift but unless she's hurting for money or you want something more lavish, the thank you gift is probably enough.

As for the registry, it depends alot on the type of people attending, or not attending who wish to send gifts. Would they likely use one? Mine is pretty laid back(hickville lol) so they wouldn't use it anyway. I agree that if you are using it for people out of the area you may want a place that's in most towns and Target is a good one. Some people have been known to ask a person to specifically register at a particular store that they prefer. You may want to expand your list but it's up to you and you'd know more about who/what type of person will be shopping for you. If you expand, you can return and buy what you need later
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Mommy to 4 daughters Elinore 05/27/95,
Phoenix 12/14/01, Pascale 06/03/05
& baby Wren on 12/10/12

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August 16th, 2012, 11:22 PM
taatie10's Avatar New Mommy & Pro Auntee
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 5,895
If she is the only one throwing the shower I dont think it would be wrong to offer financial help with it.

The registry, its what you think you need. I've seen some with only 20-30 items and others with over 100. Most showers I've been to have registered at 2 places.
I registered at Target & Babies R Us just because some of the people who are invited to my shower & family members only have access to one of the stores.
I have 70 something items on my Target one. But I was also adding some toys, diapers, wipes, things like that. And also Toddler feeding utensils, sippee cups, things like that after a friend said not to forget those.

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August 17th, 2012, 07:00 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Proud Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9,028
I agree, she offered to throw you the shower, so don't feel guilty! I think proper etiquette is to give her a hostess gift at the shower. But if you're comfortable offering to help out financially, then you could do that.
Cassie, wife to Andrew, mommy to Sophia (5), Landon (2) and expecting baby #3 in June!

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