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Sibling Rivalry

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  • 1 Post By Jessimaaka

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August 31st, 2012, 06:46 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 680
Is anyone else having issues? My DS loves his little sister and is so sweet to her but sometimes when he wants my attention and I'm feeding/ changing her, he acts out. He is a boy who usually has one time out a week and now it's several times a day. I know he's jealous and needing attention and has no good way to understand or communicate that yet but I just want my sweet (well behaved) little boy back. Yesterday he decided to paint me a picture (on the bathroom wall) while I was feeding Abby. I think he really was trying to be nice and make me proud of him so I'd spend time w/ him instead of her but of course, we then had to clean the wall. Any ideas from BTDT mamas or others going through this. I have someone else take Abby at least every other day for 30 minutes or more so I can play one on one w/ Nathan and DH has taken him to do a lot of "boys only" or "big boys" things like football games so it's not like he doesn't get any one on one time and honestly, I don't think at the moment I can give him anymore.

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August 31st, 2012, 07:32 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,567
Not quite the same, but every time i sit down to nurse, our puppy *needs* to go outside. She also randomly drops her bone which is super loud to get my attention, or she comes and sits on my feet, or just sits there and whines.

DH takes her for at least an hour a night after work to give her one on one time. We are also working to give her a sense of responsibility towards Cameron.

Is there any way you can involve him with her care in any minor way to make him feel more involved? I remember when I was younger I just wanted to be involved in any way so that I had some attention even if I wasn't the focus.
Ever likes this.
DS1: C 8/12/2012
DS2: L 3/30/2014
Surprise baby! due 3/27/2017

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August 31st, 2012, 08:26 AM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
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Only on my first kid so no advice but I kind of want to wait until Oz is at least 3 before having another and I know this kind of behaviour will be waiting for me. Kids get used to being the only one around, its a shock to their system to suddenly have a baby.

Hope you can figure it out soon. There was a girl in the July DDC having this issue and ladies on FB recommended she have a basket of toys, snacks and drink for her older child with her while she is breastfeeding, then when he asks for something she can just hand it over. I think someone else suggested reading a book to the other kid while nursing - and if he says he doesn't want to listen read it to the baby and he probably will.

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August 31st, 2012, 09:04 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Charleston, South Carolina
Posts: 610
When I had dd2 my dd1 had just turned 3 so she was very use to being number 1. My nursing time would be mine and dd1 movie time. We would only watch the movie while nursing then we would stop it and it would wait for the next round of nursing, so it got to the point she looked forward to nursing time. Of course she got to pick out the movie and we watched a lot of Barbie and The Nutcracker and The Little Mermaid. Good luck!
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August 31st, 2012, 10:43 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 680
Aww, the movie idea is sweet. I think he'd like that as his tv time is very limited. Thanks!

Thanks Lucy S for my siggy
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August 31st, 2012, 02:01 PM
sophie830's Avatar Sophie
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: TX
Posts: 729
My daughter has more issues when I pick Juliette up when she's crying. Suddenly my oldest also feels the need to cry and be picked up, but she is pretty good with nursing time. I just try to hold her as soon as I can put down Juliette, and we just reassure her that we love her. We also try to involve her in things. She's only 2 but she already likes to bring me the diapers and wipes, so I'm hoping she'll want to do more as time goes by. She also likes taking off the baby's socks . Maybe you can ask him to rub the baby's head while you nurse her? or tickle her feet? Something so he feels involved might help. It is definitely tough sometimes but it will get easier with time . Good luck!
Mirabel (4) May 2014, Juliette (2) July 2012, Baby 3 after m/c due October 2015

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August 31st, 2012, 03:05 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 24,158
My oldest two are fine with the baby, it's #3 that is having a hard time. He's 19 months, so I can understand going from having mommy's attention 100% of the time to having to share. He's always telling me "take it" when he wants someone else to take the baby or me to put her down. I've been trying to make it a point to get down on the floor and play with him when she's sleeping, but it's hard right now trying to balance it all.

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August 31st, 2012, 03:34 PM
K.A.T's Avatar Enjoying her Sticky Bun
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: NYC
Posts: 13,499
My kids are so spaced apart that I don't really have to deal with a rivalry issue. However, I do try to make sure that I include lil Kev in a lot of things. I'll ask him to help me change his brother or to help me by getting me his burp cloth or something else that I might need. Also, his sisters are helping by making sure he still gets the attention he needs from them.

❤ Big Thanks to Vicki, trishosaurus, & Shortcake for the great siggies of my kids! ❤
Liz (36) Kev (35)
Tiana (16) Doni (14) Lil Kev (8) Ethan 7/23/12 Lil Roo 10/29/11

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