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Anyone else terrified of having a... **trigger**

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October 15th, 2012, 07:35 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 1,259
Stillborn this late in pregnancy?

I dont mean to bring up a hard topic. Maybe it's because today is Infant Loss Awareness Day but I've had several friends that have had late term stillborn babies. A good friend had one last year this month and I think I cried more for her than I ever have anything else. She felt the baby move and squirm one minute, and a few mins later, he was gone, at 36 wks.

My mother also had two of them, and back then they didnt know what caused it.

Im terrified of it, though. I dont think I'll be able to really rest until he is out and safe.

I know it is pretty rare statistically but it's the whole "what is going on in there?" and the complete lack of control that really makes me so nervous.

Again, sorry for bringing up such a dark topic but I just had to get it off my chest. I just start crying when I even think about it.
Twist likes this.

Mommy to Charlotte (b. 12/15/2008)
and Clara (b. 11/28/2010)
and Benjamin (b. 12/11/2012)
and NUMBER4! (due 7/4/2015)

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October 15th, 2012, 07:43 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,589
Yup. I was lurking on the loss boards today. Doing what I do, I see it regularly and it freaks me out. But I know that I'll worry and worry and want her here and then when she's here I worry about SIDS, then when they are toddlers I worry about them getting hit by a car or choking and then they are middle schoolers and you are seeing all these abductions on the internet and I worry about them getting snatched on the way home and them finding my baby in a field somewhere. It's not dark, it's part of parenting and I have kind of resigned myself to worrying being part of my every day life. I read somewhere that becoming a mom is like having your heart ripped out of your body so you can watch it walk around the rest of your life and that is so so true. I do try not to dwell on it to much but a lot of that is my faith and feeling that there really isn't anything I can do and what is supposed to happen, will.


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October 16th, 2012, 04:17 AM
Miss Kelly's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,036
I am Very scared about this! We are getting so close and so much can still go wrong. I pray every day for a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and baby. This is my greatest fear...
Proud wife to Zach
& Mommy to Victoria Rose December 10, 2012

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October 16th, 2012, 05:42 AM
Twist's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,350
I'm terrified of that as well. I actually have an appointment in a few because i've been over worried about it. I hear his heart every 5 weeks for 15 seconds and that's it. I need more to tell me he's okay. My only experience with pregnancy other than my current one was my mom's. First she had a stillborn at 38 weeks and then a miscarriage after that. I was 12 and 14 respectively. I worry daily that my pregnancy will end the same. I haven't quite been able to enjoy this pregnancy despite my lack of symptoms. I'm glad i'm not the only one who worries.

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October 16th, 2012, 06:43 AM
Cassie.S's Avatar Proud Mommy!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Illinois
Posts: 9,029
I can't even think about that. I'm already so in love with this baby girl and so excited for her to get here, I can't even think about losing her at this point. I would be absolutely devastated, obviously as I'm sure anyone would. Fingers crossed none of us ever have to deal with this!
Cassie, wife to Andrew, mommy to Sophia (5), Landon (2) and expecting baby #3 in June!

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October 16th, 2012, 07:57 AM
No longer one and done
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 947
Im scared of everything that could go wrong including losing her. Ive been lucky to have a very easy pregnancy so far but from an emotional standpoint, nothing has ever been as scary as knowing all of the things that could go wrong and being mostly powerless to do a thing about it.

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October 16th, 2012, 09:34 AM
Elevin26's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 980
I think about this constantly especially with the GD diagnosis
Mama to Emmett James (11/26/12)
and Owen Jack (7/2/15)

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October 16th, 2012, 10:11 AM
Tammyms's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Edmonton AB, Canada
Posts: 6,451
I definitely worry about this! I don't feel baby b move much which my doctor said is normal because of the girls positioning, but still... and some days I go hours without feeling movement at all and I definitely have a moment of panic! It's taken us 3 years and a lot of money spent on infertility treatments to get here so these are our miracle babies and I want nothing more than for them to be ok

Make a pregnancy ticker
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October 16th, 2012, 11:57 AM
Shades of Grey's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Utah
Posts: 11,339
I havent really worried as much about this specifically, but yes I do worry. I am at a very unhealthy place terrified of labor and actually giving birth. Im afraid there is something wrong with his heart that they didnt see on the echocardiogram and that the stress of labor could hurt him some how. Im afraid of so many things that could happen. Nothing seems too out there or too unlikely anymore. I did not have this same level of fear with my first even.

I am peace, full of unconditional love. I am confident and in tune with the Divine, receptive to guidance.
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October 16th, 2012, 12:47 PM
tricia_16_'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: North Bay, Ontario
Posts: 3,094
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I don't know why, but I have never worried about this. I worry about miscarriage early on in the pregnancy, but once I hit about 20 weeks it's like the fear disappears. I know it's still possible, but I just stop worrying about it.

I also worry about SIDS a lot, but with the AngelCare monitor I felt very secure with DD.

Now that she is older (she is 14 months) and she no longer uses the motion sensor because she moves around too much, I worry even more lol She has a cold right now and she will wake up/have coughing fits in her sleep and I will have to go check on her once she stops because I have no way of knowing if she has choked or if she just went back to sleep.

I agree that I won't stop worrying about her until the day I die, and I know it will be the same way when this little baby gets here. But I still wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.
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October 16th, 2012, 01:12 PM
*treefrog*'s Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,579
I try not to worry, but I do. My mom had a still born at 9 months and also a SIDS baby at 6 weeks I don't know how she got through that, especially one right after the other. Sigh....unfortunately the worries don't go away. They just change: car accidents, choking, falling down the stairs, cancer...ughhh...the worries are just endless. Welcome to motherhood, right?

Our family is complete

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