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Reality set in...

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By shana1979
  • 1 Post By susie_q
  • 1 Post By chelskette

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October 1st, 2013, 09:18 AM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
So last night I showed my bf my two first response tests with dark pink lines and he can no longer hope that I'm not. He point blank looked at me and said "we're not keeping it you know. I cannot have this, we're not keeping it." I told him that is not his decision to make, that he doesn't get to decide what I do with my body, that he has no clue the emotional instability I've gone through in the last 24 hrs, not to mention what that would do to my conscious and we'll talk about it when the blood test results come back tomorrow morning.

What is frustrating is I know he's scared. I get it, he's a bit younger than I am and this is a lot to take in. I'm terrified. My sister just had her baby and because she's married, he pregnancy was so celebrated. Mine is going to be a disappointment to my parents, which is heartbreaking, this is not when I wanted this to happen but that's life. What frustrates me is when he was holding on to this idea that I'm probably not, he was kind and sweet and supportive. Now that this is probably for real, it's the opposite.

I'm sorry to keep venting about this. I guess I'm so jealous of all the posts I'm reading of all these women that have excited husbands and you get to enjoy your pregnancy. Right now only my sister is excited, I have a bf that is acting like this is the worst thing that's ever going to happen in our lives, my parents, and his mom, are going to be so upset, and his sister is due with her first in March, so I feel like she's going to feel some of her "thunder" taken away with essentially this disappointment.

It takes two to create a baby. I did all I could to prevent but sometimes nature and life takes it's own course. I have a friend that had four kids before she admitted that the pill just doesn't work for her. He even said he realizes every time we DTD that we run this risk, so what he should've done is worn a condom in addition, not expected a termination after.


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October 1st, 2013, 09:26 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 2,850

Been there, doing that. My ex, yes EX, has come around to accepting that we have children on the way but we're no longer together. It's sad really. But like you said, your BF is scared (and it sounds like you are too) so I suggest you just take it one day at a time.

And I understand the jealousy but try your best to find the joy. It's hard, takes a lot of work, but it's doable. And don't really tell people until you're past the shaky point.
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Shana, mom to DS1 (21), DS2 (18), DD (4) and DS3 (4)
Joining and in November 2013
Twinkies! Theeeeeeey're heeeeeere!

Introducing the Minis

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October 1st, 2013, 10:47 AM
Demetria's Avatar Baby Mia 11-12 1lb 6oz <3
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 4,045
Hugs sweetie!!! That is a tough spot to be in, but I am glad you are standing firm on keeping the baby. Thats the most important part, everything else will fall into place! Don't worry much about what others think, they will come around once the initial shock is gone. And you never really know how everyone will react, it may be just the opposite of what you are thinking! I will be glad for you when this tough time passes!

Somewhere over the RAINBOW

Missing my sweet little boy, RIP Baby Sullivan Parker
1-3-14 18 weeks gestation (measuring 20 weeks at scan)
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October 1st, 2013, 01:28 PM
susie_q's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Maryland
Posts: 986
Thank you ladies. I really appreciate the responses
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October 1st, 2013, 07:34 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9
My now-husband had a hard time accepting our first pregnancy. When I told my mom, she said I ruined my life. People suck. Now we have an amazing son who has far from ruined my life. Sorry you are having such a hard time.

Random laugh? When I told my hubby about this one he said is it mine. I about slapped him, then he said well it could have been a Jesus baby!
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October 1st, 2013, 07:41 PM
mrsdaiwa24's Avatar Amy, soon-to-be-mama of 2
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Midwest
Posts: 10,073

I'm sorry that your BF isn't supporting you on your decision. He needs to wake up and realize that this is really happening and he doesn't get to decide what happens next. Maybe, after the initial shock wears off, he'll come around and see that while the timing isn't perfect, this really is a blessing.

I know it's hard, but you cannot worry about what other people will think. You can't control other people's thoughts. If they're disappointed in you, well, that's their problem and it's not yours. And again, maybe once the initial shock wears off, your family will realize that they are in fact happy about this little bean. The people who really love and care about you will be there for you.

(((Hugs))) I wish there was something else I could say to make this situation better. We're here for you as much as you need us. Never apologize for venting. This is why we're here.
Thank you JAIDYNSMUM for my adorable new siggy!
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