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Name pressure from family!?

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By geogeek
  • 1 Post By Gray_baby

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December 30th, 2013, 03:37 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,325
Anyone else getting pressured by family for your LO's name?

DH and I are almost set on a name. #1 is a name I like plus my mother's mother's name. Name 2 is MIL's middle name plus my maternal step grandmother's middle name. (My maternal grandmother passed long before I was born and my grandad remarried when I was three. My step grandma really was my grandma-- I never knew anyone else!)

Anyhow, the first time I mentioned those two choices, my mother said "Oh, I'm getting passed right over?" My SIL asked the other day and I told her our two choices. My mother started to complain again that her name was not part of the baby's name! What the heck? Who does that?!

I just said "How about these people get a part of the baby's name, and you can actually be part of the baby's life?"

But of course now I'm worried I'm just going to feel guilty my whole life over what I name my DD.

Blah! I don't like choosing a name!

DD #1 born April 5, 2013; 9 lbs 11 oz
Baby # 2 due late July 2015.... Shhhhhh! Facebook doesn't know yet!
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December 30th, 2013, 04:51 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 874

This is a big reason why I don't like naming babies after others. How do you choose? If I name after one grandfather, is that showing favoritism against the other? Is it picking sides of the family?

Hence, we just chose names we really liked.

Logan Connor - March 3, 2014
5 weeks early and absolutely perfect
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December 30th, 2013, 06:16 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 1,094
I'm sorry This is why we won't be sharing the name till the birth...we don't want input form anyone else! It's pretty petty to get worked up over something like that (imo). I hope they back off and allow you to pick the names you feel fit best.

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December 30th, 2013, 07:26 AM
geogeek's Avatar Marsi's Mommy
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In yonder mountains
Posts: 9,339
Your mom is being a selfish brat. Sorry. Name *your* child what you want. I really like what you said back to her. My MIL's name is DD's middle name and my mom didn't say a word about it not being her name instead. I hate it when people make your child all about them. It is so wrong.
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December 30th, 2013, 08:12 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 1,564
That is why we don't share our names. My mom (who I love dearly) made a comment over a possible name choice when I was pregnant with my first. We named him something else, but her comment tarnished that name for us. It's driving her batty that we have a name and won't tell her, but she can wait a few more months.
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December 30th, 2013, 10:01 AM
Jessimaaka's Avatar Pink in a house of Blue
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 16,567
Yep, don't share for all the reasons mentioned above. I LOVE your response to her, that was amazing.

Pick what you like, she had her chance to name her kids after her if she so chose.
DS1: C 8/12/2012
DS2: L 3/30/2014
Surprise baby! due 3/27/2017

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December 30th, 2013, 11:05 AM
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 247
We were not going to tel lfamily this time around but ended up telling both sets of parents. No one likes it... oh well!
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December 30th, 2013, 11:56 AM
Boos Moo's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,249
No pressure here. We've always picked names we liked rather than family names. But I have nothing against family names and if that's what you choose I think it's sweet to honor someone that way. And if someone gets their feelings hurt, well they'll just have to move on.
I don't have a problem sharing our name, but we still haven't picked a first name out. Well I haven't picked a first name out. DH really wants me to pick it since he picked the middle and I let him keep it (he wanted the same middle name for our DD now and I vetoed it that time). And I guess it is a family name since it's half of my middle name

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December 30th, 2013, 06:39 PM
Gray_baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6,907
This is the #1 reason we don't tell our moms before the baby is born. And even though we've done it the same with our first two, they're already complaining that we won't tell them. You can't win - if you tell them they complain, if you don't they complain.
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December 31st, 2013, 10:02 AM
JandJC's Avatar #BoyMom
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 2,388
So stressful! Naming is the hardest part! She will get over it when lo is here. I think your response was perfect!

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December 31st, 2013, 01:55 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Eastern Canada
Posts: 1,625
Luckily I was naming a boy, so no Mom's or Grandmothers were offended in the process lol... I learned quickly you cannot please everyone with names, and in the end they get no say in it. Like it or leave it. They will adapt and if not, then yep, bratty it is... Hope they come around!

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December 31st, 2013, 03:48 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 707
We aren't telling my MIL but I've told my mom and she's not a fan of the girls name we have picked out....but too bad, my husband and I can't agree on anything else so she'll just have to deal with it!!!
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December 31st, 2013, 04:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 2,325
Haha thanks ladies! I'm looking forward to naming my baby whatever the heck I want!

DD #1 born April 5, 2013; 9 lbs 11 oz
Baby # 2 due late July 2015.... Shhhhhh! Facebook doesn't know yet!
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