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So frustrated!

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 2 Post By Mrs. D

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January 21st, 2014, 05:09 PM
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Media, PA
Posts: 345
I work part time, about 23 hours a week, and my fiance works 20 hours a week and goes full time to Penn State. He gets frustrated when on my days off I don't really do much, since I'm soo tired lately from not sleeping much. This in turn makes me frustrated that he can't possibly understand what I'm going through, with the lack of sleep, hip pain, pelvic pain, etc. I just don't understand why he can't do it once in awhile...men!! ugh!!
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January 21st, 2014, 06:16 PM
one.juniper's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,433
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I see it from both your points of view. Problem is he can't comprehend how exhausting pregnancy really is, and that's the problem.

Having already been through it once my SO still doesn't get it. I remember after I had Oz he always commented to people about how tired I was during my pregnancy and how I slept soooo much. He recognized that it was hard on my body. But this time around its like he's forgotten all that and gets annoyed when I say I am tired or I don't have the energy to do something.

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January 21st, 2014, 07:27 PM
Schofield06's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,364
I feel this way a lot with my DH. He works 2 jobs, and I don't always keep up with things like I should. Sometimes i wish he would do a few little things. I don't expect him to keep the house clean all the time, but if he would just put his dishes into the dishwasher after using them instead of leaving them for me to clean the dried on food off of later I would really appreciate it. Sorry you're dealing with this. They really just have no way to understand what it's like.
Aug. 21 2012
Mar. 31 2013
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January 22nd, 2014, 03:20 AM
Mrs. D's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 626
My husband works a lot, too. He comes home late a lot. Sometimes I am waiting around until after 8 to give him a ride from his office while he finishes answering a ton of emails or writing letters of recommendation or offering last minute counseling to someone. I know how stressful and exhausting his job can be. And I also know that it irritates the dickens out of me when he can't seem to put his dirty laundry IN the hamper! Or rinse the food off his plate so it doesn't get dried on. Or clean the cast iron skillet when he uses it. And when he comes home and the house is still messy, he doesn't ask "what were you doing all day?" But I know he's thinking it. He's wondering if being pregnant and anemic and caring for a four year old all combined realistically excuses shirking on the vacuuming all week or folding the laundry butter not carrying it upstairs to the bedrooms. And, realistically, I probably could try harder sometimes. But it would be nice to have him come home (on time) and say, "how are you feeling today, honey? I think you've been having a hard time. Let me fix dinner, you go take a nice bath and don't worry about anything the rest of the day."
one.juniper and Six14 like this.
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January 22nd, 2014, 01:23 PM
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: Southwest Chicago 'burbs
Posts: 278
Don't let it get to you. The housework will always be there, but you need your rest so give yourself a break and don't feel guilty about it. My husband usually doesn't complain out loud, but on occasion gets a bit huffy about the fact that I am laying down AGAIN. So I started telling him ahead of time: "I am going to do x,y,and z, and then I am going to lay down and rest". Then he leaves me alone. Or, I will thank him ahead of time for all his extra help and tell him I need a break. He has absolutely no clue what being pregnant is like, so I can't blame him for that.
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