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Why Do Non-pregnant Women Have to make YOUR pregnancy about THEM?

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By flitabout
  • 1 Post By TrinityDawnMaura
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May 1st, 2014, 06:48 PM
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Central Valley, California
Posts: 246

I was at a lunch today with a friendly acquaintance who was dining with my girlfriend and I. During lunch she asked how far along I was. When I told her 17 weeks, her immediate response was to tell me (a high risk patient) that at 17 weeks her water broke prematurely with her last (2nd) baby and she had a late-term miscarriage. She also commented that to this day she doesn't know why it happened. She was completely healthy and had no symptoms of an impending miscarriage.

To make matters worse, I came home and saw an episode of 19 Kids and Counting, which just so happened to be the episode where the Duggards' lost baby (#20 at 16-17 weeks) died. I know in her case she was 42 and had pre-eclampsia, but now considering the two seperate experiences I heard about today I can't help but feel paranoid.

Anyone else feeling paranoid at this stage of the game of a late-term miscarriage? I feel like this worry won't pass until the baby is past 24 weeks gestation and is considered viable outside the womb. Does anyone know how common or rare this even is?

At this point, I am assuming there would have to be a serious birth defect, infection, or something wrong with my cervix in order for this to even happen. Nevertheless, every time I feel a cramp or twinge my mind goes to the worse place.

Help me get out of this fun so I can enjoy this little girl!
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May 1st, 2014, 07:42 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
Honestly it isn't common. I won't tell you it doesn't ever happen. But I have only ever heard of 1. That one was due to a massive infection.
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May 1st, 2014, 07:49 PM
TrinityDawnMaura's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Georgia
Posts: 709
Ugh, I hate when people tell things like that to pregnant women. Pregnancy is stressful enough and most of us are aware of the many things that can go wrong, but we don't need to hear about it right now.

Shift your focus to happy pregnancies...pop into the April and May DDCs to read about the new babies who just arrived and see their cute photos. Also check out the pregnancy forums here...several have subforums with inspiring childbirth stories. Or watch something fun...I saw this when it came out and loved it: Amazon.com: Babies: Bayar, Hattie, Mari, Ponijao: Amazon Instant Video
StephcMc likes this.

Trinity: mom to Brendan (14) Aricka (9) Cecilia (3) Lucia (2)
and two angel babies in heaven

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May 1st, 2014, 08:25 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 4,484
My sister is like this. And when she's not reflecting with her pregnancies, shes asking me 153452205 questions about my pregnancy. Its annoying.

I wouldnt worry to much about late term miscarraige. Its actually pretty darn rare, and usually has a LOT of issues leading up to it.
Ryker Benjamin is coming on Oct 10th, 2014!
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May 1st, 2014, 10:49 PM
dyeanotherday's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Cedar Park, TX
Posts: 1,566
I have never heard of anyone that lost a baby after having hyperemesis generally while it makes you very sick is an indicator of a healthy baby. I had it with my son and he is almost 4 years old and has been sick maybe 5 times in his life. He has an incredible immune system. I dunno if it is related to that lol but it's an awesome thought
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May 2nd, 2014, 07:08 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Feb 2014
Posts: 697
I think it isnt very common. I think it is normal to worry. I worry right now because my tsh number is so low...and that means I am very hyperthyroid which isnt good for the baby. I started meds but worry that they are not helping my number enough.
Mom to
Alyssa 5/18/00
Myah 11/12/02
Julian 11/12/02
Ryder 8/14/09
Tristan 10/24/14
Baby due 1/9/18
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May 2nd, 2014, 07:20 AM
Maddy6912's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 850
Focus on your precious baby girl and nothing else. Were all going to start feeling kicks if we haven't yet which is so reassuring and exciting. Im sorry she had to put that in your head! But I wouldn't worry at all! Just think of how amazing your baby girl will be once she is here!

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May 2nd, 2014, 07:29 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: ON, Canada
Posts: 1,050
Well that was very insensitive for her to tell you that story, even if she was reminded of it, she should have thought before speaking about it to you. Really though I think your baby will be fine.

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May 2nd, 2014, 08:40 AM
Posts: n/a
Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. We all know that it happens, but the chance is quite low. Even with my previous loss, I'm not worried about miscarriage at all now. Once I cross about 14 weeks, all that fear went away. I have CKD so I do still worry about growth restriction, placenta problems, and defects, but I try and keep my mind off of it. Once I have my anatomy scan, my mind will be at ease either way.
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