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Second baby and mixed feelings

Forum: 2014 Playroom


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  • 1 Post By GreyEyedGirl
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June 26th, 2014, 02:19 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 154
We're getting close to due dates now (8.5 weeks to go for me), and I'm starting to really think about how this new baby is going to affect my toddler. We planned for the baby, and we tried hard TTC the baby, and now that it's going to really happen, I'm really worried.

I know I will have enough love for both kids, but I won't have any more time than I do now. And the baby, if he's anything like my first, will be really tough for the first 6 months. I have better ideas about how to manage a baby this time around, but I am so worried that my toddler is going to feel like his mama is neglecting him. I guess I'm just anxious in general.
saraann likes this.
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June 26th, 2014, 03:25 PM
saraann's Avatar Veteran
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 284
I get those exact same feeling!
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June 26th, 2014, 04:19 PM
topato's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Western PA
Posts: 1,398
yeah, i feel that way too. my older one is 17 months and my due date is 9 weeks away (but i wont make it!). i dont think he'll be jealous of the new baby, but i am worried he'll feel like i'm not giving him enough attention.
Momma to Big Harv, est. 2013
and Dar Dar the Rock Star, est. 2014
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June 26th, 2014, 04:30 PM
Urchin's Avatar Loving every minute.
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 8,323
I 100% get how you feel. I am going through the same emotions.

My DD is very much a mama's girl. She is my shadow. I worry she will feel pushed aside when the baby comes. Im going to try so hard to keep her involved, let her help out and make sure she still gets mama time too.

I even worry about how she will do when I am in the hospital with baby. If I have a similar birth this time, it may mean I am away from her a few days, which she has never experienced.

I am so excited for this baby, but also have concern for how DD will interpret it all.
Thank-you Bokkechick for the beautiful siggy!

Proud mama to Audrina (10-10-2011) & Bryden (09-19-2014)

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June 26th, 2014, 06:41 PM
flitabout's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Pipestone, Minnesota
Posts: 6,500
I remember thinking that. My best advice is to put it all out of your mind. Seriously, you aren't doing yourself any favors. Just let things happen organically. No expectations. Just let it all happen I promise not only will it all work out it will be better than you can imagine. 2 kids are really a breeze to deal with!

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June 26th, 2014, 07:45 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 154
flitabout, that is great advice. Thank you so much And ladies, thank you for letting me feel less alone about this!
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June 26th, 2014, 07:47 PM
Kayakgirl's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Michigan
Posts: 579
You're not alone.. I'm having the exact same feelings. I just have to keep reminding myself that my daughter is so excited to be getting a sister, and as a sister myself, I know the joys that will come with time... after the baby stage. It's going to be something to adjust to for sure, but the baby stage will go so fast, it will be gone before we know it.

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June 26th, 2014, 08:06 PM
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 412
Your kids will live up to ur expectations. We are adding baby number 10 and we have never had jealousy issues. Even our oldest who is only 14 months older than his sister ;-) we always tell tgem it's their baby and they get to help with him/her. They love it!
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Sherrie mama to 9 - 2 angel babies and one more blessing due 9/1/2014
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June 26th, 2014, 08:36 PM
Jenn-F's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Alabama
Posts: 1,033
I felt the same way when I was expecting my second. My older son breezed right through being away from me overnight for the first time. He was excited to have the baby around. He didn't seem to be jealous or to think he was missing out on anything. I, however, continued to feel the change more.You just can't do all that you did with one when you have two. It bothered me for a while, but as the boys have gotten older, I've seen how much it actually benefited them to have each other and not be the only. They are not the center of the universe, and having a sibling is a gentler way of teaching them that.
Urchin and Kayakgirl like this.
Mom to Caleb (8) and Nathan (5)and our new arrival Anna Joy born on September 11.
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