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Forum: Stillbirth


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April 17th, 2009, 05:46 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
I didn't want your post here to go unnoticed. I welcome you with sadness, and when you are ready...I would love to hear more about your little angel.

Good luck TTC
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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April 17th, 2009, 06:52 PM
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 65
When I read this...I cried. I don't want to be someone who is defined by their suffering but I too want others to acknowledge what we lost. Here is my story...

My name is Elizabeth and my DH is Dave. We got married in June of 2007. After our "honeymoon" period we decided to start trying for a baby and discovered 4 weeks later that we were pregnant. There is not a word that I can think of to describe how absolutely over the moon we were.

At the time, I was working as an ultrasound tech and my husband was with a software designing company. DH was traveling every week (Sun - Thurs) to AR and ultimately decided to become an independant contractor...which meant indefinate travel. We decided that (because he was looking at doing this for at least 2 years) we would move to AR so that he would not miss out on the joys of pregnancy...plus I missed him.

I was 14 weeks along when we moved. Being an ultrasound tech has it's advantages and we were able to find out before we left that we were having a little boy. As far as the pregnancy was concerned it was very easy, mainly no morning sickness. I was tired but that is to be expected. There were absolutely no complications. I found a Dr. in AR who I liked...every thing was going great. At 24 weeks I went in for the glucouse test...tested high and had to go back but the second test was well within the normal limits. The heartbeat was strong and there was no reason for concern. I had just started to feel the baby move...little flutters here and there. My DH would ask me every day, "did you feel the baby move?" and one day I had to tell him..No.

I had thought that he was just in an odd position and that I would surely feel him when I went to bed. We had one of those fetal moniter/heartbeat devices..and we tried that night to find the heartbeat but could not. The next morning I called the Dr. office (they were closed on Fridays) and had to wait for the on-call Dr to get back with me. I explained what was going on and he told me to drink a coke and lay on my left side for 45 minutes...if I didn't feel anything I was to come in and he would take a quick look with the ultrasound machine to make sure everything was ok. There was no movement, so we went in.

I was sure that everything was fine but it wasn't. The Dr. was not able to find a heartbeat. He put the transducer down and held our hands and prayed with us...I will never forget his kindness. We had to go to the hospital to L&D. It wasn't until then that it really hit my husband...when he realized that I had to deliver.

We got there and they ordered a second ultrasound to confirm what we already knew and that night they started the medication to induce labor. Between the pills and potossin I finally gave birth to my little boy at 12:49 am Monday morning. The cord had wrapped around his neck 4 times. I was 26 weeks along the day I delivered him.

There is a peace in knowing how it happened but like I had posted before we still struggle with the "why". We named him Declan Roger and he was so perfect. DH's parents and sister were able to make the 12 hour drive down and my mother was able to fly in and they were all able to hold him and say goodbye.

We made the decision to move back home and have Declan buried here in the same plot as DH's grandmother who had passed away earlier in the year. I know that she will take care of him until I can one day hold him again in my arms. Because we were bringing him back we had to have our little boy cremated which was the most gut wrenching decision I have ever had to make. I know that he is in heaven looking down on us and it makes me smile to think that he will never know pain or fear but I miss him so badly. We will be blessed again, this I am sure of, but patience is such a hard lesson to learn and I will admit, some days I am a horrible student.

We have been TTC since January and are on to the next cycle. I pray that this will be the one for us but I also pray for understanding if it is not. My heart aches to hear the stories that are on here...to know that so many others have had to go through this and yet I am comforted by such a supportive group of strong women who truly understand what it is like. I hope to get to know you all better and I hope that I am able to comfort those who are struggling. I pray for each and everyone of you that you will get that BFP soon but I want you to know if you don't I am here and always willing to listen.

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April 17th, 2009, 11:35 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I am so sorry for your loss of Declan. This is such an amazing group of ladies who have helped me so much through my worst times. We are all here for you whenever you need to just cry or let it all out.
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April 18th, 2009, 02:28 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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a very sad but warm welcome elizabeth i hope u stay we have such a great support here and love to get to know u.

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April 18th, 2009, 09:58 AM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
I am sorry you have to be here, but WELCOME! I am very sad that yet another mom has lost a precious baby.
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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