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My grandma is dying

Forum: Stillbirth


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April 20th, 2009, 10:05 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
My dad's mom is dying. They live in Missouri, which is where I was born, but my parents moved to PA in 1987. She's 79, I think. I talked to her back at Christmas time and told them about Roald. She mentioned how tiny he must have been when I told her he was 1 pound, 11 inches. My grandpa recently had heart surgery that was successful and is doing better, he is 84. The hospital let him take grandma home. She's on a large amount of painkillers and sedatives, but they're letting her die at home. She is not coherent and I think she's sort of acting like she has Alzheimer's because my dad talked to her but she didn't know who he was.

She's been going downhill since 2003 when her daughter, my aunt, died suddenly. Then her grandson, my cousin, died a few months later when he had an asthma attack in his sleep and asphyxiated to death. My dad must be feeling pretty crappy; he's lost his sister, nephew, grandson (Roald) and now his mom.

I actually feel kind of jealous; she's going to get to meet Roald before me. She has a grandson who died a few days after birth back in the '70s who was my aunt Zelda's son (the aunt who died). I just feel so sad now. With all of the crap going on with the cemetery where Roald is buried and now this. Plus the angelversary of my best friend's stillborn daughter is coming up on May 13. I feel like I was a bad granddaughter even though it wasn't my fault we live in another state.
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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April 20th, 2009, 11:02 AM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
just want to offer you hugs and peaceful thoughts.

How hard this must be on you. I am so sorry, for your whole family but especially you and your dad.

I know what you mean about feeling jealous. It sounds weird to say but I imagine I'd feel the same.
b/g twins Logan and Ella
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

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April 20th, 2009, 11:36 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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awww bonnie im so sorry hun thoughts and prayers to u and ur dad.

i can totally understand the being jelous hun tell her to give him a kiss for u.....

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April 20th, 2009, 12:53 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Bonnie -


My grandmother, who was 80, passed away just yesterday morning. She lived in CT (where the rest of my family lives) for a number of years, having moved there from MA. She and my aunt came to TX in September to visit us, and the entire trip, she kept saying "I can die happy; I saw my Julia!"

I am saddened by the news of my grandmother's passing, and I am saddened to hear about your grandmother as well. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. And please don't feel guilt about living in another state; you are NOT a bad granddaughter! I am not attending my beloved grandmother's funeral (please don't judge me; I have my terrifying reasons), and I don't for a moment feel like a bad granddaughter. I have the good memories of my feisty grandmother and this is how I plan on honoring her.

I'm sorry to have hi-jacked this thread; please know that I have your grandma in my thoughts

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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April 20th, 2009, 01:17 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
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I'm sorry Bonnie. My thoughts are with you and your family.
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April 20th, 2009, 01:34 PM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
Bonnie, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

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April 20th, 2009, 02:44 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Oh honey. It's always hard to lose someone. Don't feel guilty about not going to the funeral. Sometimes it just isn't possible. I wish you could go though, because they always help, I think. They're for those who stay behind, not those who are passing on.

Anyway, for you and your family.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 20th, 2009, 07:01 PM
SimplyJenalee's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 789
I am so sorry. It is so hard to lose someone you love as we all know. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers!
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April 20th, 2009, 09:23 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm so sorry Bonnie.

and so sorry to you as well, Barb.

to you both.
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April 21st, 2009, 05:52 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
Thanks, everybody.

I've actually agreed to go to the funeral. I know I want to go and I know I'll hate myself if I don't, so when she dies Bill and my oldest sister are going to take turns driving straight through the 20-hour drive there.

Now, I agreed to this but am already dreading it. I only seem to be vomiting in the mornings now, though I did vomit the other afternoon, but I feel sick constantly. I'm going to call the OB office again and explain that I'm going to be traveling so that they can hopefully hook me up with something more powerful than Emetrol (sugar syrup) and acupressure wrist bands, lol. I just know I'm going to feel so sick in that car, but I really want to go to her funeral.

Barb, I'm so sorry to hear about your grandma.
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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April 21st, 2009, 08:23 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
Oh I am so sorry. It's aweful to lose anyone close to you. I am glad she's getting to be at home with her husband, even if she seems confused... at least she has some dignity and is at home. I'm glad you get to go to the funeral.... I'm sure it won't be easy, but I think it will be good for you to go.

Big hugs.

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April 21st, 2009, 08:06 PM
..Penelope..'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Canada
Posts: 10,777
Bonnie, I'm so sorry. You and your family will be in my T&P. I hope that the car ride down isn't too bad for you. *HUGS*

Missing our angel baby since Feb 7, 2009

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