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Forum: Stillbirth


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April 23rd, 2009, 09:14 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
Okay, so I just got Ella to bed with Mike and I sat down to open the mail.

And there's a bill from my perinatologists group. Same bill they keep sending over and over and every single time it throws me into an emotional uproar.

Freaking $1000.00 for the last two 'procedures".

One from 09/26 for a
"OV Estab-low to moderate complexity and U/S followup"

and one from 10/05 for..get this (and mind you I was in that horrible room for a whole 4 minutes TOPS)

"consult-hospital-low decision making"
"U/S-greater than 14 weeks transabdominal single"
"biophysical profile (w/o nst)"
"doppler velocimetry, fetal; umbilical"

So this is a bill for my last two ever peri 'procedures'. On 9/26 at my last appointment where they told me everything was fine and it obviously wasn't. And 10/05 when I was in the hospital and they confirmed that Logan was gone.

I can't bring myself to pay this bill. I have the money right now but I just can't pay it. I don't know why it enrages me so, but it does. I know that they bill for everything and that it's the office and not the doctors SPECIFICALLY, but it infuriates me. It's like "YOU want HOW MUCH for telling me everything was okay and that I had 'graduated' and you didn't need to see me again? and then your partner wants HOW MUCH for running that thing over my stomach in the hospital and nodding his head when I said 'he's gone?', and then him walking out of the room?"

I'm still very angry about the whole thing. I'm angry at myself for trusting the 'specialists' more than myself, but I'm still mad at them too. My perinatologist never even acknowledged that Logan had died until DECEMBER and only then because we requested a meeting to discuss the autopsy results. And when she walked into that meeting, the first words out of her mouth were "Nothing I say today will bring your baby back". Well no ****, are you serious? Come on. I wanted to slap her. She kept referring to her "memory notes". *** are those?

She was in the hospital every single day that I was there after having them(which was 7 full days) and never came by my room once. I never got a phone call, a card, a form letter..NOTHING. I mean, it's not like I expected her to crawl up on my hospital bed and wail with me. How about just acknowledging that it happened since I was your PATIENT. My OB came to the hospital as soon as she got to her office and heard the next morning. Even my freaking RE (who did my IVF) called me at HOME, at NIGHT, and TWICE after he found out to tell me how sorry he was and to see how I was. But her? NOTHING. EVER. Just NOTHING.

I'm sorry to ramble on. I just get so worked up everytime I see this bill. And I don't know what to do. Don't pay it and let it go to collections? Or pay it and send a note that says "here's your money for telling me it was all okay when it wasn't and here's his money for telling me he was dead 11 days later"?? If I pay it, I won't be able to not say something in the payment. (not that they'll see it)

I just hate this bill and it keeps coming and it will KEEP coming if I don't pay it. Ugh, I'm just so frustrated and so sad right now. Logan should be in that room right now, laying with his sister and he's not. And I'm so f'ing mad that he's not. I'm mad at myself, I'm mad at the peri, I'm beyond mad at God. I'm just mad. I want him back, I want him here with me where he belongs. I don't want it to be like this and it's not fair. I don't know what I did to deserve this. I don't know why it had to happen to Logan, why it had to happen to me, or to Ella...why every single day of her short little 6 months her mommy has cried at some point in the day. It's not fair to her. I don't have blissfully happy memories of her beginning because it was his end. And it's not fair!

I'm sorry. I'm just so upset right now and need to vent.
b/g twins Logan and Ella
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

Journey to Logan video http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e54597...314d673d3d0d0a
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April 24th, 2009, 09:41 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
If I were you I would call to superiors and complain. Be detailed. Or file a complaint in writing (which you can make copies of and be very detailed). I would pretty much feel the same way you do.

Honestly, when the hospital calls me for some remaining balance of like $300 we still owe they get all testy and tell me "You have ba;ances you NEED to pay" and I flat-out tell them "I was in your hospital giving birth to my dead baby. When we have the money you'll get it" and then I hang up. I've done this like half a dozen times. Sometimes I wonder if those people even feel like ***** doing their job. Part of me says no.
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April 24th, 2009, 12:35 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I think you should write a letter to that horrible peri and tell everything she did wrong and how it hurt you. Maybe she'll learn her lesson and stop treating people that way.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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April 24th, 2009, 02:03 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Other than agreeing with the idea that you should file a complaint in writing, I have nothing else to say but

In one way, I'm very glad I was on medicaid for Cora. I never saw a single bill. I really don't think I could have handled it.

to you ladies who DO have to handle it.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 24th, 2009, 02:39 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I don't have any ideas for the bills... but I like the idea of writing a letter, filing a complaint. That is just horrible bedside manner, entirely. I am so sorry you have to keep seeing this horrible reminder.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
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April 24th, 2009, 03:21 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
I agree about writing a letter. And big to you. I am fortunate that we don't have bills, what a horrible reminder. And those phone calls Bonnie....just horrible. I am sorry both of you keep getting these reminders!

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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April 24th, 2009, 04:23 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I agree with the others - you should definitely write a complaint. It may prevent someone else from going through the same thing someday. Also, it may make you feel better to take some action.
As for the bills, I can't really offer any advice. We have socialized health care, so I haven't any experience in that area. Good luck, and I hope you find some peace.

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April 24th, 2009, 05:25 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
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I don't think I could handle the bills - I am glad I never got any for Rebecca
I am sorry your having a rough go hun
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