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My debate...to return or not

Forum: Stillbirth


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April 30th, 2009, 05:33 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
I know I need to get back to work. We aren't wealthy. LOL.

But am I ready to deal with the stress of work and ppd? I don't have my son back yet...I know I am going to obsess until I have him back. Post partum depression is what it is, and I need to make sure I get the help I need...but at what cost?

Yeah, it's me...stressing about depression! LMFAO!! Meh...if I don't laugh, I'll cry again.
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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April 30th, 2009, 05:46 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I went back to work about a week after Ethan died. It was too soon. But I have the luxury of working at my family's business, so my income was secure. Had money been a factor, 1 week post lost would have been the right time.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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April 30th, 2009, 07:24 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
If you can, I say wait a while. You will return when you are ready... but this is just too soon, I think. You are dealing with a lot... grief, depression, and stress. I just think that if you go back now you won't be really "there" which will cause MORE stress... and you need time to handle Jonah's things, to grieve.

Big hugs. It's hard to know when.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
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April 30th, 2009, 07:53 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern Cali
Posts: 2,517
Do you qualify for disability? I agree that it's too soon

Thank you *Kiliki* for my perfect siggy Follow us on Facebook

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April 30th, 2009, 08:08 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
Do you get any bereavement leave? I am guessing in the States you don't get much if any paid time off. I think it is too soon as well.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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April 30th, 2009, 10:09 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
You know, the stressing about depression....sometimes it's easier to focus and stress over things you can actually deal with, rather than the bigger things you can't control. I think a week would have been too soon for me too, emotionally. And you had to make a decision that was much more traumatizing I think. You need time to process. If you can afford it...take a bit more time.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 30th, 2009, 11:53 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm sorry you have to deal with this now. Like Laura said, is there any way you're able to get bereavement leave? but I guess also like she said, the US doesn't give as much paid time off as here in Canada.

I honestly think it's too soon for you to go back. I took off 4 weeks and I don't think that was enough for me, honestly. It depends what you do for a job as well. If you're in the public, you'll run into a lot of pregnant ladies and young babies. That was the toughest part for me.
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May 1st, 2009, 12:24 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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oh hun i totally agree that its too soon u have enough to deal with take some time just for u ( i know easier said than done when u need the money) im so sorry that u have to freaking deal with work

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May 1st, 2009, 07:22 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
When you are ready to go back, go. Grieve as you need to. It's just too soon. My T&P's are with you.

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May 1st, 2009, 08:56 AM
~*Kixs*~'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: North Texas
Posts: 12,914
Ladies I hope you don't mind me posting here...I am just checking up on Heather.

(((HUGS))) Heather you are still in my prayers.

Depression is an illness covered by most companies short term disability policies. Has your PPD been diagnoised by your doctor? If not get it diagnoised ASAP with a recomendation that you be kept off of work for medical reasons. You will have to check but I think most FMLA gives you is 12 weeks medical leave job protections. And if you have short term disability at your job this will keep the money coming in for at least a little while longer while you take the time you need.

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