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Upset at Work

Forum: Stillbirth


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May 14th, 2009, 01:09 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I have a coworker who is pregnant. She got pregnant shortly before we lost Ethan. I am normally pretty good at handling pregnant chicks, but today is the exception. I never ever see her (we'll call her May) because she's admin staff and works in the front office, and I am management and work in the back office. Front and back are separated by our workshops (we're a construction company).

Because the economy has made things slow, a few admin people have come to work in our call center, where my office is located. Today, May showed up. It wouldn't have mattered, I am now awesome with pregnant chicks (unless they are at my OB's office where we got the bad news). Except that she is acting weird around me. She won't look me in they eyes. She's acting like my loss is f#*^%*# contagious. I know my loss is scary, but treat me like a person G*d dammit!

So I have been depressed all day. I can't focus on my work, I just want to cry. I want to go home and take a Valium and hide in bed. I'm worried that she's going to be back here everyday. I'm upset and mad that she's making me feel this way.

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May 14th, 2009, 01:32 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
Oh that ucks. Maybe saying something upfront would help? Omething about how she might feel awkward around you becauser she's pregnant but that you are okay about it and he should,kt feel weird about talking to you. Hopefully that's all it is...

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May 14th, 2009, 01:41 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
Awww I'm sorry!

I, too, am pretty good now when I see or am around pregnant people or little babyboys.

Even before I got preggo this time I was doing pretty good. At least I totally act fine, even if I'm feeling sad. But I do still feel awkward at the OB like you said.

I would sort of take Nat's advice if she winds up being near you again. She's either feeling bad about being pregnant around you or like you said, some women do seem to act childish as though stuff like this is contagious.

A girl we went to school with had a baby who was missing a limb and another girl who had a baby said to my friend "My kid's not playing with her kid". My friend said "It's not contagious" to which the other woman just said "still".

But it's probably just that she doesn't know what you're really feeling. But I'm sorry you're upset
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May 14th, 2009, 02:01 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,304
Sorry it's been such a rough day. Do you know her well? I agree that saying something might help, hopefully she is just trying not to upset you and not being a complete jerk.

Owen, Avery, Samantha and forever missing Jake born still 08/01/99.

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May 14th, 2009, 02:03 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
Wow, yeah, I hate that some people make you feel like you're a leper or something. I had several experiences like that.

I agree with Nat that you should say something to her. Gently...but sometimes it's because they just don't know how to act or what to say.
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