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Packing for the hospital

Forum: Stillbirth


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October 10th, 2009, 08:08 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
Never did I think that I'd be packing for the hospital this soon, I'm so not ready...I have no clue what to take, I don't know what except or things that I'm going to need...Is labor the same as it would be if I were giving birth a living baby? Will I stay in the hospital, or will they send me home right away? What kind of things should I pack, memento's etc? I hate even asking, I hate having to do this, knowing that the day after tomorrow I'm going to go to the hospital and when I leave I won't have my baby with me anymore...I bought a foot and hand print thing, I'm bringing the blanket I was going to bring her home from the hospital in, a tiny T-shirt, her first pair of booties and a stuffed toy...I don't know what I'm going to do with them, I know the T-shirt or booties won't fit her, but I guess it makes me feel better knowing I have them with me...I'm not crying as much, I Feel just blank right now...I keep thinking I'm feeling movement, but I know I'm not, I know it's in my head, but every once in a while I think maybe they were wrong...I feel like my stomach is shrunk, my maternity jeans won't even stay up, it's also not as firm as it once had been...I'm also starting to get mad, everything and everyone is making me so mad, and I don't know why, no one is doing anything wrong...Tomorrow is the first day I'm going to have to really face people, it's my daughter's birthday party and I'm so worried that everyone is going to ask how I'm doing etc...I just have this feeling of wanting to keep everything to myself till after she's born, I want to just be left alone...The only person I want to talk about it with is my husband, but for some reason I'm finding it really hard to...We both agreed that we will have a memorial for her...I think it's not only best for me, but I Think it is going to help my kids too...I think he's having a hard time with seeing and holding her, he didn't seem like he wanted to, but I started to cry and he said that he would be there for me...I understand that he's not as attached to the baby as me, he hasn't even felt her move, and couldn't go to any of her ultrasounds, and he's never heard her heartbeat...He never really got attached till after our children were born, so I do understand...I just need him to be there for me...I also don't know what to do about my mom...She's been with me during all my labor's and births, and I always like having her with me, but for some reason I feel like I want this one to just be me and my husband...My mom is very upset, she's crying every time I talk to her, so I know she's feeling something and I don't want to tell her she can't be with me, I just don't know what to do....I don't know why I have this feeling of keeping everything to myself and for myself, I've never felt this way before...Am I just being selfish? I'm sorry for all my ramblings...I've spent the last 3 days mostly just sitting in my bedroom in front of my computer, not wanting to watch tv or do anything except just space out and I have all these things going threw my head, constantly...I was given sleeping pills and they aren't even helping that much, it's just a constant stream of thoughts, and I have such a short time and I feel like I need to get everything worked out as soon as I can...No one has to respond if you don't want to, I just needed to vent/talk...thanks.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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October 10th, 2009, 08:48 PM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192

My name is Bonnie and I lost my son Roald at 25 weeks on November 15, 2008. I am a regular here but have been MIA for about a week and I think you are a newbie (I'm catching up on posts just now).

Assuming by your siggy, you are about 21 weeks. Labor will be similar to a fullterm, yes. Some women do not have to fully dilate this early while some do. But you will still labor. There will not be alot of pushing, though, obviously. Yes, be prepared to get and make all the mementos you possibly can! I wish we had known more beforehand! They are extremely important. The whole feeling selfish thing? I think that is totally normal. I did not let anyone i nthe room during the entire labor and defnitely not for the birth. I would personally ask your husband how he feels about your mother being present in the room if you do decide you wouldn't mind her being there. This is different than a live birth and if he feels he would rather it be just for the two of you I thin kthat's really important, know what I mean? But ultimately it's up to you.

And Bill said he didn't want to see Roald either when I was in labor. He was scared of what he'd look like because he had been dead in utero for a week. At first I agreed but after labor began I completely changed my mind. And you know what? When the nurse handed Roald to me Bill kept looking at him. And when she took him away for measurements? Bill was staring at him. Your husband may find himself staring at his daughter when the realization that she is his baby truly hits home and he understandas more fully that this is his only chance to see the rela her.

It is going to be so hard. If you don't believe in God, please disregard this comment and don't be offended, but if you do believe in Him know I am praying for you.
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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