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Forum: Stillbirth


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October 22nd, 2009, 06:32 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
So my af is on the way. The Holidays are getting close and I've been kind of down recently. I'm still taking care of my kids, I still have fun with my kids, I love my l/c!

My aunt messaged me on FB last night and told me how I should Treasure every moment with my children and how after she lost her she was a mess and wasn't treasuring her kids.

And that pissed me off. My kids keep me sane (unless they are driving me INsane at the moment) She then keeps in a very patronizing type way telling me to FOCUS on my LIVING CHILDREN!! Whoever came up with that **** line needs shot!!

I told her that just because I am grieving does NOT mean I'm not enjoying my children and that I'm not treasuring them!!
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October 22nd, 2009, 06:42 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
My dad used to tell me that all the time too. I finally kind of lit into him over it and he stopped saying it outright. I know you enjoy your girls every bit as much as I love Erin and Patrick. But you also love Calypso and don't get to be a mother to her in that way, so you do it in DIFFERENT ways. Some people just don't get that. They don't get that the reason we're so VOCAL about the babies we don't have in our arms is because they can SEE the ones we do have. I don't have to remind people I'm Erin and Patrick's mom. But I'm every bit as much Cora's mom too and they forget that.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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October 22nd, 2009, 06:51 PM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
Well part of the reason I don't really share too much about Freja and Raeden is because they are now 5 and 3 and not babies anymore. Freja told me she didn't like me talking about her school and stuff online, so I don't out of respect for her. Raeden doesn't care about that stuff, but she's getting old enough where I'm not comfortable telling all I used to.

When they were tiny I posted about them all the time. Calypso is and always will be my baby and no one can hurt or embarrass her. Plus no one irl even talks about her anymore. No one goes to her grave so I'll talk about her as much as I need to
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October 22nd, 2009, 10:10 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
Ugh. I think it's just one of those things that people say all the time. Our angel children are still a part of our lives and I don't think people really grasp at how "normal" it is to have them a part of our day to day life. That doesn't mean we're ignoring the other things in our life.... love for one child does not preclude love for the others.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
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October 23rd, 2009, 03:49 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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as if its that easy just to focus on our living lo's in our minds our angels are just as much important then they are it just frustrates me that this is my life and i cant just forget! it may be easy for them but hell i think of jessica everyday still nearly 5 years on

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October 23rd, 2009, 09:43 PM
Posts: n/a
When I first lost my son, my family said that all the time. And so did my husband at the time. It really only made it worse for me. I do love my DD. I do spend time with her, and cherish every moment. But I should have moments to treasure with my son too, and he was taken from me. I can't help but be down about not experiencing his first wet diapers, his first smile, learning to walk and talk, etc. ((hugs)) I agree, that person should be SHOT.
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