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Frustrated with my family

Forum: Stillbirth


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October 31st, 2009, 02:12 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I'm so frustrated right now!

So my mom has always had her grandkids over on Halloween for dinner before trick or treating...This year almost everyone seemed to have other plans, and plus we are really the only one with younger kids anymore....So my mom asked if we would come over, and I even took her grocery shopping (she doesn't drive) and a special trip to another store for something else (i'm the only one that ever takes my mom anywhere or helps her do anything)...Well she called me a little bit ago to tell me my niece is coming over, and I had told my mom we weren't coming if she was going to be there...I'm not mad at my niece for being pregnant, but that's all they talk about, and I honestly can't be reminded of everything right now...I don't want to be around her, and I don't want to listen to her talk about being pregnant...It's bad enough that every time I talk to my mom that's what she talks about...WHY??? Do they not understand that My baby died just a couple weeks ago and i'm still hurting....My niece has no reason to come over, she's an adult and has no kids to take trick or treating...She doesn't even live in town, let alone this neighborhood (We live about a half a block from my mom)...Well I told my mom we weren't coming and she said that i'm putting her in a bad place (this was after I started to cry)...Why would she say that to me? that's just so mean...I ended up hanging up on her...I don't know how my family can be so mean to me and act like it should be something i'm over...She should of told my niece that she could come over after we left, or just mention to her that i'm going threw alot and maybe it would be better not to come over.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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October 31st, 2009, 09:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I'm sorry for her acting this way after what you've been through. No advice here as you know I have issues like that constantly. They just don't get it. They don't understand that it hurts so bad that they forget so quickly. That's why I try to limit my conversations with my mom these days, it's just too hard to talk about things important only to her.
Hugs to you!

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October 31st, 2009, 10:46 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I think i'm just going to have to limit when I talk to my mom too...We usually talk numerous times a day, plus I take her almost everywhere with me...My niece and her husband ended up finding us while we were trick or treating....They caught me off gaurd and I didn't say anything so she walked away....I felt bad and told them they could come with us, but it was so hard seeing her all pregnant....No one mentioned her pregnancy or the loss of mine....I haven't seen my family except my mom and sister since this happend....It felt really akward, but I didn't want to be mean...Like I Told my husband, i'm not mad that she's pregnant and i'm not feeling this way because I want the same thing to happen to her because i don't...I'm just mad, bitter and angry at everything, and I just don't want to be around other pregnant people right now, it hurts just way too much...I should still be pregnant with my baby girl...I would of been 25 weeks tomorrow, and i'm sure showing alot...I'm just so pissed off that I don't have my baby with me anymore....I haven't cried in a few days, but today I just woke up kind of depressed and i've already had a couple of meltdowns....I guess that's going to be part of life for awhile now.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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November 1st, 2009, 06:55 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
I know how you are feeling..I think many of us had similar feelings close to our losses and you are not wrong for having those feelings. This time right now is about YOU and your heart and healing. Your mother is wrong for constantly reminding you that you are not prego anymore and your niece is being really selfish. We had Joey's memorial and we found out later that our cousin was so torn up about bringing her baby to the service...in the end we were glad she did (and she was a doll) but it meant so much that they had been concerned about how WE would feel. THAT's the type of person you should be surrounded with right now...and you are right to limit contact with your mom...maybe she'll get the hint or at least make her ask whats wrong. I'm so sorry you are goign through this.
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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