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It is so hard

Forum: Stillbirth


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November 12th, 2009, 10:58 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
It's been 4 months today. Still feels like yesterday. I hardly slept all night. I wanted to stay home, but I went to work. I am also very angry. Little things make me angry, and I am not an angry person. I've seen the video on "yahoo" about a baby girl weighing 1 pound who was born 5 months earlier and survived and doing well right now. It made me happy for them and angry at my situation at the same time. My sister told me that my cousin who I haven't seen in a few months is due in February. I am angry that they didn't tell me earlier, and I'm also angry for knowing that she's pregnant. I'm angry that we didn't get to hold Eric and take many pictures of him. I've been asked if it's easier... 4 months later. It is not! I'm also angry that we can't make a decision about whether we want to get pregnant again or not. I am also afraid that if I do get pregnant, everyone will completely forget about Eric and will think that we moved on. I just don't beleive anymore that I will ever be happy again.

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November 12th, 2009, 11:03 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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November 12th, 2009, 11:34 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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yes its so hard, i mean its not just the loss its everything we'll ever do in our lives too like someone said ( can't rememebr who) its like a ripple in a puddle everything just ripples out wards and effects everything we do from now on! even nearly 5 years later i still am not over it! and to be honest i will be like this forever .....it does become easier to live with thou hun

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November 12th, 2009, 11:45 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
It IS hard.

I became an angry person too. I was bitter at everyone.

Have you tried talking to any therapists or psychologist? They help some people, but not all. They were something I definitely needed. I just needed to talk about it to people who wouldn't judge me or tell me to move on. I actually ended up having to see a psychiatrist and having to be put on Zoloft for a while because I just couldn't cope with the pain and heartache.

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November 12th, 2009, 05:59 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
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