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Forum: Stillbirth


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November 17th, 2009, 04:19 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 443
It has been 3 months since we said goodbye to our Evan, Today very rough day for me. My friend/coworker had her baby last night which I am very Happy about but at the same time it was very hard for me to deal with, That is all everyone at work was talking about toda. I am so happy for her that she has a healthy baby boy but I just got so sick of hearing everyone talk about it. I know that seems so selfish and mean but everything is still so fresh for me. One of my coworkers today asked what was wrong and so I told her I want to be happy for her but it is so hard when I lost mine and she told me well Life goes on

Is it wrong for me to be acting this way????????????????

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November 17th, 2009, 07:19 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
It's absolutely not wrong at all for you to feel this way. Even now, almost 16 months after losing Noah, I still get this jealous FEELING whenever I hear someone had a baby, because I wonder "why did THEY get to keep theirs, while I had to say good-bye to mine?"

You go right ahead and take all the time you need to hurt and feel this way, sweetie.

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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November 17th, 2009, 11:17 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I'm with Barb on that. It's been over 1 year, 3 months since we lost Katrina and I'm still jealous when I hear of someone giving birth to a healthy baby - I know it may sound selfish and mean. I truly am happy for them, because no one should ever have to go through the pain of losing their baby, but it makes me so sad each and every time.

So I don't think it's wrong how you're feeling and I hate when people say silly things like "life goes on". Well yea, obviously life goes on, but the pain we have IS now a HUGE part of our life...so even though life literally does go on, the pain is always there with us.
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November 18th, 2009, 05:50 AM
Posts: n/a
The other ladies said it perfectly. You are not at all wrong for feeling the way you do. I'll be coming up on 3 months of the loss of Eli in a few weeks and I'm dreading it.
I hate it when people say "life goes on". They just don't get it at all.
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November 18th, 2009, 08:21 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
"Life goes on" statement makes me mad these days. People who say it just have no clue. Like other ladies said there is nothing wrong with how you're feeling. I am the exact same way.


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November 18th, 2009, 05:58 PM
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Fort Saskatchewan, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 45
I'm not there yet but I definitely don't think it's wrong of you to be feeling that way. I have a friend who had her little boy 2 days after me and I know that if and when I do see her and him, it's going to be heartbreaking even though I'm happy for her that he's alive and healthy. You have every right to feel that way... some people just don't understand... HUGZ!

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November 18th, 2009, 08:03 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 443
Thanks everyone for all your support I honestly don't know what I would do without you ladies.

My friend sent me a pic of her baby he is absoutely beautiful I am so happy for her!!!

I just keep thinking and wondering if she knows how blessed she is.

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November 19th, 2009, 11:17 AM
BakingMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,192
For her to tell you life goes on in response to you confiding in her sounds really borderline cruel to me.

I felt this way for a long long long time. I knew a few people who had babies after I lost Roald and it was like torture. I even still secretly feel that way inside when someone has a baby. Like "oh, I wonder if they ever lost one" and if I know they haven't I get jealous inside.
Visit Terry & Roald's Memorial Site!

Thanks to Mommy2Belle for my Roald blinkie!
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