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Forum: Stillbirth


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November 24th, 2009, 08:14 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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November 24th, 2009, 09:22 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
I'm a hot hormonal mess today (LOL). While drying my hair after getting out of the shower, I just started bawling like an idiot for no reason. This crap lasted a good 15 minutes, too. I think it's lack of sleep, the amount of doctor appointments I've been having, the fact that I'm hormonal about everything and just awaiting Pippi's arrival in general that is causing all of this.

And a sidenote to Claire --- can I just say that Keeley is FRIGGIN' ADORABLE?! I that picture in your siggy!!

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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November 24th, 2009, 11:24 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I agree, she's a doll!

I'm doing alright, just busy getting ready for thanksgiving....I had a rough few days and I was feeling pretty down...I hope things will be better at least till after thanksgiving, I don't want to be down and depressed the rest of the week....I have had a hard time sleeping the last couple of nights, and last night I broke down and took a sleeping pill just because I was so tired.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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November 24th, 2009, 02:33 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I guess I'm a little better. I realized in the last few weeks that I need to move on with my life and try to enjoy things a little. Otherwise, what's the point of being here ? I can't bring Eric back, but I'm still here and so I need to turn my life somehow back to normal. But this is how I feel today. Who knows how it will be next week.

And yes, Keely is a sweetheart!

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November 24th, 2009, 02:51 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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aww you guys

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November 24th, 2009, 07:20 PM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
I'm having a sucky time lately. I lost my job and the market is NOT looking good right now. So, out of work means broke. And I think it's pulling me back into this sad place that I don't want to be. I'm dwelling more on Logan, feeling guilty like THIS is why God took him because we wouldn't have been able to afford them both when we can barely afford Ella.

I dunno. I know it's silly. I think it's just everything. No job, money, holidays coming, Logan, etc. etc. etc.

(btw, I agree, Keeley is too cute for words)
b/g twins Logan and Ella
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

Journey to Logan video http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e54597...314d673d3d0d0a
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November 25th, 2009, 07:38 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
eh...not really in the holiday spirit, but very much in the "no school" spirit lol. I am just so glad to have a long weekend I can't even express it in words. I am mentally exhausted and physically exhausted and my husband doesn't understand or is too caught up in his own stuff to care, i haven't decided. We got in a huge fight last night and, like Laura, can't help but go back to that place where I think that maybe all our arguing is why we lost Joey...its bad enough Jamie is exposed to it but I can't imagine going through this with a newborn. Of course, I'm going through it pregnant but anyway....

I get no help around the house...dh promised since Thursday that he'd do the dishes. Sunday morning they still weren't done and we were having company. He told me I cooked so it was my mess to clean. He said he got the whole house spotless while I put vinegar in 1 bathroom...I was deep cleaning the bathroom...I vacuumed and washed the walls, cabinets, floors, door, grout, everything on my hands and knees. All he did was put stuff in piles and shove things in places they don't belong. By his way of thinking he doesn't care if stuff is clean as long as there is no clutter. I personally woudl rather things be clean (as in not teeming with germs and dirt). Sometimes this makes us a good team, sometimes it makes me fight. He tells me in front of ds that I don't discipline and its my fault ds is explosive. He is too physically rough with ds, holding him down, covering his mouth (and his hand hits ds's nose which makes it hard for him to breathe, then calls ds a liar when he says he can't breathe)...he screams in his face, he threatens to smack him. But says that ds's temper is my fault because i use gentle discipline.

Sorry this all just sort of spilled out. Some days I can't believe I let him get me pregnant again. He threatened to leave last night...even went so far as to pack up a couple things...but I would have had no way to get ds to school this morning. I haven't voluntarily spoken to him since last night (only a couple things i had to say about ds this morning). I hate this. And then I hate talking about it because I feel like people will think I'm stupid for staying with him and all I get from my mom is that I have to just do more around the house and she tends to blame me for things as well, although this week she has taken to feeling bad for me and has offered to come help me clean this weekend. They just don't get how exhausted I am. I don't have the mental ability to argue with my 5yr old, I am not strong enough to forcibly put him in his room, and I have too much going on and am too tired to do EVERYTHING around the house. And yet some how, I'm to blame for it all.

Sorry ladies.
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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November 25th, 2009, 09:50 AM
Posts: n/a
I'm having a hard time with the holidays coming up and Eli's EDD coming up (12/4) and on the 29th it will be his 3 month angelversary. Plus, I am PMSing right now. So, I am really emotional and not really looking forward to Thanksgiving. Ugh.
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