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Forum: Stillbirth


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January 2nd, 2010, 08:16 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
Greetings, Everyone -

I lurk other forums within JM and never post, but I'm curious to know why others who may not have experienced stillbirths come in here and lurk. Do you know someone (friend, family) who has experienced a stillbirth? Have you experienced one yourself but don't regularly post here? Other?

I know Claire posted a topic like this some time ago, but since then we've sadly welcomed new Moms to this forum and with it, we may have gotten some new lurkers who are still hiding behind the scenes

Let us know why you come in here ... and thanks!

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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January 2nd, 2010, 10:26 PM
Mizz*Stewart's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 661
I am a lurker. I come here to check on Megan from my DDC with sweet baby Ella in heaven. Then I read all your stories and just check on ya'll, keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Hope I am not intruding! I just really wanted Megan to know that I will never ever forget her or miss Ella.

Just an observation, I bet alot of mommies to be have lurked and learned the signs to look for, and I wonder how many babies have been saved by that very action? I bet more than one would think.... I'm a medical student and this board has really made me more aware for myself and others....

Well, nice to introduce myself, I have previously felt sort of intruding. I hope you all had great holiday seasons, and congrats on the new lil rainbow babies and those that are on their way! Still sending you all my baby dust Megan!!

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January 3rd, 2010, 09:13 AM
quietsong's Avatar Just Another Slacker Mom
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Missouri
Posts: 42,367
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I've been lurking so long people probably think I'm really creepy by now, LOL. Devin (Nat's son) is my nephew, and I watch for when other family and friends pop in with their own grief, to offer any advice and support I can. I also have known a number of stillbirth mamas from various boards around JM ... plus I have been following your stories for so long that I like to check in now and then and see how things are going. I spend most of my time in the pregnancies & earth angels subforum, truth told.

Visit My Blog, and come join me at the JM Blogs!
Thank you Jaidynsmum for the siggy!
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January 3rd, 2010, 10:24 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
No way do I think anyone is intruding It's just really nice to know that we have supporters out there who keep us in their thoughts and prayers!

I hope all other lurkers (I guess "supporters" might be a better word) come an introduce themselves as well. I am seeing there have been 35 views but only 2 posts at the time I was posting this message ...

Glad you introduced yourselves!

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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January 3rd, 2010, 10:39 AM
MummyTo2Boys&1Girl's Avatar Loving my baby boy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Huddersfield, UK
Posts: 37,487
i check in sometimes, im claires sister and check to see how brittanie is doing, we were ttc at the same time then she concieved erin

Jack Anthony Richard White

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January 3rd, 2010, 10:47 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: My heart belongs in Washington DC
Posts: 6,415
I lurk, Brittanie's on the board I used to host and I like to think she's one of my friends.. I check in on her sometimes. I actually check in on you other girls too, I fell like I've gotten to know you all through lurking.

*goes back into hiding.*

Thank you to the wonderful ladies who mad the blinkies!

"The Lord compensates the faithful for every loss. That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful will know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears of rejoicing and gratitude..... These experiences, while often difficult to bear at the time, are percisely the kinds of experiences that stretch our understanding, build our character and increase our compassion for others."
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January 3rd, 2010, 01:16 PM
lizard's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 5,480
I've been lurking here for a long time, since they made this board separate from the Pregnancy Loss board. I used to check in on the ladies that moved over to this board, and then as new members came, I started checking in on them too.

10/31/05 (EDD 5/15/06), 4/17/06 (EDD 11/13/06)
Chemical p/g 1/11/08

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January 3rd, 2010, 01:30 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689
I am not a lurker, but I did lurk here before I became a member. I was just compelled to come and read your stories and look at the pictures of your beautiful babies. I guess I know now why, I was to become the mother of a saint myself, it sort of prepared me for my loss.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
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January 3rd, 2010, 02:06 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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January 3rd, 2010, 02:07 PM
hannah79's Avatar A little bit wicked
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: North Texas
Posts: 1,041
I lurk here all of the time. This past February I had a little boy, Sawyer. He was not stillborn, but he died shortly after birth. I think I can relate to many of the stories on this board more than on the loss of a child board. It is comforting to read posts from you ladies. It is nice to know that others have similar thoughts and feelings that I do. It is something that none of my friends or family can really relate to.

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January 3rd, 2010, 02:31 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Upstate SC
Posts: 4,443
I've lurked since I joined JM. I myself haven't had a true stillbirth I lost twin girls at 16 wks, found out at 17-18 wks that another baby girl died at twelve weeks and 10 other losses early on. have known quiet a few women(posted in another thread here) who have had stillbirth and infant loss(found out this week the girl I gave things Norah didn't need that her baby died after only 10 minutes). I also know Heather and Megan from Sept. 2009 DDC and think of Colm and Jonah often. I just feel drawn to this board, I also jump up and down with joy when a new baby is born to a mom in here.

ETA: Plus the loss boards is the only place I can talk about my losses, no one understands why 14 years after my first loss I am still grieving for the ones I will never meet and why I was terrified to have a daughter.

http://stitchingthroughlife.blogspot.com/ my cross stitch blog, my outlet.
http://chriscrossdesigns.blogspot.com/ my Cross Stitch Designs

Last edited by ftnjn; January 3rd, 2010 at 02:33 PM.
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January 3rd, 2010, 03:11 PM
ShesaDreamer's Avatar If Only. If Only <3
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In the Wild and Wonderful
Posts: 4,844
LittlebeansMommy was in my DDC. And I used to come in to check on her. But after reading all of your stories I come in here to see how all of you ladies are doing.
Me: B 28
DF: S 29

DSD:S 12
DD: A 6 Autism, Global Developmental Delays

Getting Married 6/11/16!!!

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January 3rd, 2010, 03:24 PM
SamuelsMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 16,541
I'll admit to lurking! I come to check in on Stephanie (lex1078), she was in our March DDC when she lost her precious girls. And now I find myself wondering how others are doing even though I have no real connection to you. I also had a dear friend lose her little boy at 34 weeks a year and a half ago.

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January 3rd, 2010, 07:00 PM
Celry's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: WI
Posts: 12,946
I'm from the Sept. 09 DDC as well. I had been here before Colm and Jonah were born, but not regularly. I check periodically now to see how everyone is doing. I think about those little boys a lot because they were our DDC's first born. I can't follow their milestones, but I can follow their mommies. Heather and Megan were a huge part of our DDC and I feel like the chemistry changed when each of them stopped posting. It's nice to be able to come here and see how they are doing.

One of my neighbors lost her first daughter at 40 weeks, but I did not meet her until about 8 years later.

Thank you peimum for my siggie

Dec 26 '08, BFP after 21 months thanks to acupuncture
Jan 14 '09, first u/s one strong heart beat
Jan 28, '09, second u/s, Surprise! two strong heart beats
Aug 13, '09 Arya and Eiley are born on what would have been their great grandmother's 105th birthday
365 Days in a Roe

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January 3rd, 2010, 08:50 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
Thank you all for caring and being supportive, it really means a lot to us

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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January 3rd, 2010, 09:31 PM
LovingMyBoys's Avatar Mom of 3 boys
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 2,858
I admit it, I lurk in here every now and again. In my Oct 07 DDC two ladies lost their little ones, one of them was my DDB. There are also a few ladies in my current DDC (March) who have had losses too (Hi Steph), plus others I have met on JM who have experienced losses also. My little sister passed away from SIDS at around 18 months old and to this day my heart aches for what my Mum must have gone through and it aches for all of the ladies who are a part of this board. You all inspire me beyond words with the strength you have and I only wish I could do/say something to take away some of your pain. This board has made me a lot less complacent about pregnancy and birth too. I used to think that wont happen to me and now I think I have just as much of a chance as anyone else and it has made me pay more attention to my baby by doing kick counts etc and I guess made me wake up to the fact that this does and can happen and not to take things for granted.

I often wish I could post in some of your threads to send you hugs and support, but I don't as I wonder if you ladies mind lurkers, or just want the support of others who have been through a similar situation.

Last edited by LovingMyBoys; January 5th, 2010 at 02:22 AM.
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January 4th, 2010, 12:28 AM
mommy2skyty's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 915
I lurk here because my aunt had a stillbirth in April of 2009

My little cousin Chole Elizabeth was born still at 40 weeks due to a cord accident. 2 days before my aunt's scheduled c-section she didn't feel any movement and just the day before she felt lots of movement so she wanted to go to the ER just to make sure everything was alright. The worst was feared and she lost her little girl. April 20th she delivered her perfect angel born sleeping. We are all soo devastated for her loss and I took it extra hard because I was about 20 weeks pregnant at the time. My aunt is still soo sad when she sees other pregnant mommies and babies and just misses her little girl soo much. They are trying to conceive again but she is 40 years old so she knows her chances are slim but we are praying for a miracle. My cousin Chole will always be in my heart and I know she is looking down on us. Rest in peace little girl...
Kelly and John- Married: Sep 30th, 2006

Skyla Helen- Feb 2nd, 2008
Tyler Lyman- Sep 6th, 2009

Quinn Kayden- Aug 17th, 2013

Happy Easter from my kiddos!
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January 4th, 2010, 01:54 PM
Posts: n/a
I lurk here for various reasons. I need to know who to pray for but if I were a member of the forum, it would more than likely bother me that anyone could read/would lurk, so I don't usually post. I believe there's one post from me on this forum from a long time ago, regarding the ridiculous previous issue that women who hadn't experienced losses were complaining about babies who had passed being pictured in women's signatures.

I tend to come across posts that make me so angry though, about how people IRL just don't understand the losses of a child and just write them off.

So whether it be in sadness, anger, and of course the happy posts too...I'm often here lending my silent support, hoping not to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

ETA: I was also a member of the forum that Megan was a part of and followed her story closely. I have other friends and family members who have also lost their babies.
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January 4th, 2010, 04:09 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Welcome! I know I can't speak for any of the other ladies but a few of you mentioned you have had losses...really...if you feel like you belong here, post! Whether your loss was 16wks or after birth. I am in awe all the time at how welcoming the mommies here are. Really...if there are things we don't want lurkers reading, we have the private forum as all the other boards do too!

It is nice to know that people are supporting us though, so thanks NIce to meet you all!
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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January 4th, 2010, 10:29 PM
HippieLove's Avatar Modern Day Brady Bunch
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Down Under
Posts: 21,233
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Hi my name is Emma, I've been lurking since October when a very close family friend lost her beautiful son to an undetected hematoma that caused a placenta abruption at 36 weeks I lurked around mainly to be able to understand more on how she'd be feeling so i could do all the right things for her and also because I made her a montage about Bryce and was looking for appropriate songs. But I dont know why I just never left I find myself popping in every now and again in the last month especially... I feel very drawn to your board... All your babies are beautiful...

Last edited by HippieLove; January 4th, 2010 at 10:36 PM.
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