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Forum: Stillbirth


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January 8th, 2010, 10:45 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
how often do you look at your mementos/memory's of your baby's?

I used to look at Ella's memory box every day...for probably the first month...I haven't looked at it in a long time...I just opened up the big box that I keep all her things in (a box they gave me in the hospital), it holds her memory box and other things that don't fit in her memory box...When I opened it I found my daughter's headband that I bought her for christmas pictures...I tore my house apart looking for that thing, and I have no idea how it got into Ella's box...I ended up having to go buy another one...Any way, I guess I haven't looked at Ella's things since before thanksgiving...I look at the baby clothes I bought her etc all the time, but looking at her actual things that she wore and touched is so much differen't, it hurts so much more.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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January 9th, 2010, 12:06 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
Well we have a lot of Katrina's stuff throughout the house, so every day I see her stuff. We have at least 5 pictures of her displayed throughout the house which I love. I'm at the point now that I can smile when I look at her picture. I have her picture in a frame next to the bed on my nightstand that I kiss every night before I sleep and every morning when I wake up.

We do have 2 nice round boxes full of her stuff that we brought back from the hospital and that have just little mementos of hers. Those boxes I don't open all that often. Jon actually got upset at me for opening them too much in the beginning - not because he didn't want me to look at her stuff, but because we were able to somehow trap a smell from the hospital in there and he didn't want to ever let go of or forget that smell.

Here's a few pictures I feel like sharing of a lot of Katrina's stuff throughout our house:

This basket is in the nursery and full of some of Katrina's stuff. We're going to keep it in there too once baby is born, so we can keep Katrina's memory alive in there:

This is in the master bedroom:

This is on the kitchen counter:

These are the boxes I mentioned above (with a photo album of Katrina's on top):

This is some of her ashes (the rest are buried at the cemetery) with her little stuffed animals and some of the flowers dried from her funeral that people brought and the beautiful painting Jon's mom drew in memory of her:
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January 9th, 2010, 03:00 AM
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Indiana
Posts: 9,769
We like Katrina's mommy and daddy have a lot of stuff displayed. But her outfit and stuff I don't look at often because I'm afraid of ruining something. Here's her Memorial Case though

I got other stuff all around the house, but no pics of it all lol
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January 9th, 2010, 04:01 AM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
The boys' urns are still here, and all of their stuff is still on display in the cabinets. It's time to bury the boys I'm ready. But their stuff will stay. Jonah's gown is in a display box I created, and their blankies, etc are accessible to those tall enough to get into the glass displays. I am not ready to put any of it away...at all....
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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January 9th, 2010, 07:32 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I have Cora's shelf, so I see it every day. It's got her picture and her handprint in clay, a picture of Matt holding her, her urn full of gravel from the lake we spread her ashes at, a couple of angel figurines, and the little bears holding her name letters that my sister painted for her.

I pull out her scrapbook occasionally to look at, and that's got pretty much everything else in it. I didn't dress her, and the blanket she was wrapped in went with her to the funeral home.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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January 9th, 2010, 08:04 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
My DH doesn't want Bryan Luke's pictures up in our house. But I do have a shelf in the living room with things that are for him. A teddy bear I bought him, a candle that we light on every special occasion (including Oct 15), a statue of hands holding a baby (I think of it as God holding my son), a couple of angels, and the Cars toys that we had bought him.

His memory box holds his things from the hospital. I put the clothes and blanket that he wore in a ziplock to hold in his smell. I open it just once or twice a year to smell him. The box I probably open at least once a month and go through it all. I just need to be sure it is all still there.

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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January 9th, 2010, 08:29 AM
lex1078's Avatar Waiting patiently....
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 6,834
I never really look in the girls memory box. I should, but it hurts too much. Also, we have shadow boxes for them in our bedroom and a wrought iron tree to hang ornaments on for them.

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January 9th, 2010, 09:17 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689
Very rarely. My older children sometimes ask to see it, so I open it and let them look. It isn't that it is painful to look at the stuff, it is more that I feel nothing and then I feel guilty.

I have very little stuff though, and maybe that is why?

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
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January 9th, 2010, 09:56 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I also have Ella's blanket in a big zip lock baggie that was in the cardboard box the hospital gave us (I think it held supplies), it's big enough to hold her big blanket....I get it out when i'm missing her, so I can smell it...I hope the smell never goes away.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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January 9th, 2010, 10:56 AM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: 32.918289,-97.272266
Posts: 1,758
The blanket & basket that the nurse at the hospital carried Noah in to bring to us, along with his ashes, remains in the bedroom upstairs that was to be his (which is now going to be Sydney's when we move her up there from our bedroom). I really don't know what we'll do with that stuff once we officially decorate it for Sydney. I rarely look at those items because the pain of doing so really is unbearable. All the clothing that is his that we either purchased or received as gifts are packed away in a box; I never look at those items.

However, his pictures are in our room and I look at them and kiss them every single day. In addition, since I have his footprints tattooed on my upper left arm, I see those every day as well. This spring, we are going to scatter some of his ashes on the dirt where Nate planted the memorial tree for Noah.

Thank you to Jaidynsmum for my beautiful siggie!

I'm Barb, Mom to Angel on Earth Julia Rose (7*22*08), her twin brother Angel in Heaven Noah (7*22*08), and rainbow baby Sydney Noelle (12*4*09).

*a special 'thank you' to all the blinkie creators for their talents*
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January 9th, 2010, 12:00 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
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i look at her pics every day cause they r out, i have her bits n pieces in a memory box that gets open maybe once a month

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January 9th, 2010, 02:54 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
Eva and Declan have their own memory boxes. I've looked in them maybe twice. I know that when I look in them, I will spend the rest of the day crying. Their urns are on the mantle. I had one person tell me that it was strange to have them there. I believe the term they used was 'creepy'. I honestly don't feel that way. I want them to be with us in the heart of our home.

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January 9th, 2010, 03:55 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
I don't look in Ethan's box very often. I have his picture on the mantle and the one in my siggy so I can see him everyday though. Plus I have his footprints in a locket I wear and a tattoo for him.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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January 9th, 2010, 04:36 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I have some items out on a shelf, which I see every day. We also have Sheepie and a blanket and a quilt in the bedroom, Den and I will spend some nights pointing at the quilt and talking about the different squares (friends made it for us). The box of Devin's other things is around, but I don't often stop to go through it anymore. Part of it is me knowing what's in there already, but part is that I just don't feel the need to go through it much.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
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January 9th, 2010, 09:47 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: New York
Posts: 1,760
I have very few things that are in the memory box, and the box still sits on the top of my dining table, but I rarely look there anymore. I have his picture next to my bed though which I look at every night and morning.

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January 10th, 2010, 04:09 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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Most of Ceilidh's things are in a box in our room. We have photos of her in the lounge, kitchen & our bedroom. I have a lock of her hair in a frame alongside all the other kids' first lock of hair frames. I also have a small picture of her and a lock of her hair in a locket that I wear all the time.
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January 10th, 2010, 02:28 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 2
The hospital gave me a bag of mementoes........blanket, onesie, socks and hat. I also received foot and handprints and his bassinet card. Today I discovered that the hand and foot prints and the bassinet card are missing. This was only the second time I have looked through his things. It makes me sick to think those have been lost forever
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January 10th, 2010, 10:32 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
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Location: Edmonton, AB
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I have Malachi's picture at my desk at my work.
I have some of his stuff in our living room.

Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
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