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Update (pregnancy mentioned)

Forum: Stillbirth


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January 16th, 2010, 06:33 PM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 443
Hi everyone sorry I have been absent for awhile our computer was down and we had to buy a new one!!!

I wanted to check in and see how everyone is doing..

things are going ok for me I am expecting again due on September 10 2010, I am so happy and nervous at the same time. I know I just have to have faith that things will go differently this time.

I also have been having a hard time thinking about having to redo the nursery that we still have not touched from preparing it for Evan Part of me thinks we should keep it the same and not change anything but then I just want to put it all away and start fresh.

Everybody keeps saying well least you won't have to buy new baby furniture because you already have it all but I think when I lay this baby down in it's crib I am going to think this should be Evan in this bed, or when I put the baby in the swing this should be Evan in this swing

Should I just buy all new stuff?????? anybody's opinions would be greatly appreciated!!!!
I just miss Evan so much everyday. I want this new baby just as bad as I wanted him !!!


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January 16th, 2010, 07:40 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 696
Honestly, we used all the stuff we had from Robert for Mady. All I did was change the color scheme from green and blue to green and pink. For me, i know it was meant to be Robert's room, but I chose to think he would want me to use it all for Mady. He is watching over her every day this way. Also, it is not like Robert ever slept in the crib or even saw the room, so it isn't like I have specific memories of him being in the room. What would you do with all of Evan's things if you did get new stuff? You would have to decide to pack it up or give it away. Oh, on that note, one thing that I did have to do was pack all the absolutely boy stuff away. That did bother me. But at least it was only the some stuff but not all of it. It is certainly a tough decision. You do have time to feel it out though. I waited til near the end of my pregnancy to pack away Robert's stuff. Take your time and see how you feel.
*A HUGE thank you to Maitri for my beautiful siggy!
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January 16th, 2010, 09:19 PM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689
I think that the furniture isn't going to matter. Even if you got a new crib youwill probably still think about how you should have done all the same things with Evan. It doesn't matter where you put the stuff you will think it.

We went to Walmart tonight and I thought about stuff like that and we were buying tights for the girls. But, there was a playpen and I thought to myself...."Colm should be sleeping in something like that"

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
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January 16th, 2010, 09:56 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I agree with the other girls. And you know what? It won't be EVERY time you lay this baby down in the crib. The first couple of times it will hurt, but then you just sort of get used to it. I still have the crib I bought for Cora. Erin used it, and Patrick is in it now. Honestly? I only occasionally ever thought of it as Cora's.

It affected me more as I've started getting rid of the things I bought for Cora. I recently got rid of the carseat and gave away the stroller that went with it (Patrick was over the max weight and it expires in July anyway). It was like I was getting rid of one more part of my life with Cora.

For me it was easier to use those things I had bought for her than to box it up or give it away.

You could probably redecorate the room if you really felt you needed to, but there's really no reason to buy all new furniture, etc, when you could save that money and buy other things you need for this baby.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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January 16th, 2010, 10:09 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I think I'm the same as Brittanie... I feel better when I pass things down from Devin to his little sister than when I pack it up unused. I mean, this stuff was all going to get used for multiple children anyways. There are a few special items that were *for Devin* specifically, and those I've kept aside as little keepsakes. But those are small things, like an outfit, a hat, a toy.

Congratulations. I really hope everything goes perfectly for you and you have nothing else to worry about for the next 9 months.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
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January 17th, 2010, 12:10 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
I still have all of Ella's things untouched in the same place as they were when I was still pregnant...I didn't have a full room set up yet, and I had only known she was a girl for about 3 weeks, so I didn't have a ton of stuff....I still do have a lot of things, and i plan on re-using them except for her special things that are in her box ....I might have a hard time at first using the things I bought for her, but I also think it's going to help...I hope so much that I Have another girl...So IMO I would re-use his things.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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January 17th, 2010, 06:28 AM
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 443
Thank you everyone for your advice this has been a big help to me and is helping me relize that I am not replacing my sweet baby boy Evan... I miss him so much.

I have special things put away in his memory box and I do plan on repainting and decorating the nursery.

Thanks again

Love you all


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January 18th, 2010, 09:33 AM
Posts: n/a
I'm planning on keeping the nursery exactly the same. Maybe that's weird but I just don't want to have to redecorate again. I say do whatever feels right to you. Oh, and congrats again.
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