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I feel really bad

Forum: Stillbirth


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February 12th, 2010, 12:05 AM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
I was just looking at my ticker in my siggy for Katrina and realized it's been 1y6m2d since we lost her It didn't even occur to me that we've passed the one and a half year mark (just on Feb. 9, in fact).

I feel awful because I feel that since I'm really nearing the end of this pregnancy that I'm so focused on Sweet Pea since I'm SO nervous about every little thing and SO excited about her....but now I feel as if I haven't been paying much attention to my sweet Katrina . I do talk to her and kiss her picture every single morning and night and I do obviously miss her ALL the time.

Agh, now I'm in tears I just don't want her to think I'm forgetting about her. But I never could.
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February 12th, 2010, 06:29 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 4,847
Those days go by after the first year. It doesn't mean you've forgotten anything, just that you are living. That is a GOOD thing. Remembering your daughter and carrying her with you through this life is a GOOD thing. Dwelling on the day you lost her is what isn't good. So I think you are doing GREAT!!

Thank you to AlexAiden Mommy for my beautiful siggie!
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February 12th, 2010, 08:08 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: CT
Posts: 982
Very well said Beth. I feel bad that we don't do anything special, I don't always acknowledge the 4th of the month of facebook or even to dh.....sometimes I don't even remember until the end of the day or the next day. But Steph, Katrina knows you are ALWAYS thinking of her. I think she would WANT you to be focusing on the new life coming into your family...taking care of yourself and taking care of her baby sister...those 2 things in and of themselves are being done in remembrance of your precious angel. It is good that you are living your life....We shouldn't be sad all the time and we shouldn't try to go back to the way things were before our angels, but it sounds like you are doing great at finding an inbetween and living your new normal (which of course you will need to adjust again once you have a new born!!!) *hugs*
Married to my best friend Tom since 2004 (together since 1999)
Mommy to two little boys:
Jamie ~ 7-12-04 ~ fun, crazy, transformer loving tough-guy mama's boy
Joey ~ 4-4-09 ~ born sleeping ~ held under my heart for 40wk1d, in my arms for just 6 short hours but he will be in my heart forever
And finally holding my little girl,Felicity Rose, Born into Daddy's loving hands on June 9, 2010

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February 12th, 2010, 10:50 AM
Posts: n/a
We know and Katrina knows that you will never forget her. I bet there isn't a moment that passes that she isn't right there in your heart. And she is happy that you are happy. How could she not? She wants her mommy to live and love and smile, if you focus on the bad all the time you will not have time to remember how beautiful she was and preciously she will always be watching over her soon-to-arrive little sister. ((hugs))
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February 12th, 2010, 10:57 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
The other ladies said it so perfectly. You don't have to remember a date to love and remember Katrina. You SHOULD be focused on Sweet Pea right now because she needs you. Katrina understands that and I'm sure wouldn't want it any different.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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February 13th, 2010, 08:48 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
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beleive it or not - that is a good sign - when you don't dwell on every day and wonder how to make it to the next. Katrina knows you love her forever and always and is waiting to be the big sister guardian angel

Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)

εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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February 13th, 2010, 10:23 PM
Proud Momma
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 3,781
Thank you girls. You have no idea how your words have made me feel so much better - although each of your post brought tears to my eyes.
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