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I think Clark's death has affected us all more than I thought

Forum: Stillbirth


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February 16th, 2010, 01:44 PM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Southern Cali
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It's the little things you don't notice individually but they add up. Josh had a couple panic attacks following Clark's death and still has some nights of insomnia and he never had anything like that before. I am a freak with Cameron and worry constantly. I worry so much more about SIDS than I did with my older 2 and when she gets sick I'm terrified.

My middle son has always been very protective of Cameron and when she cries he wants to fix it right away. Yesterday she started crying at Target and after feeding her, changing her and doing all I could she wouldn't stop so we had no choice but to drive home with her screaming. By the time we got home Caleb was bawling because he couldn't get her to stop crying and he was afraid she would die.

He told me "Mom, I know there are things that can kill babies even after they are born and I don't want her to die"


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February 16th, 2010, 02:07 PM
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I'm sorry, that is so difficult when you have older kids who are so affected by it too. My daughter was too young to really understand when we lost Eli and I am grateful for that. But, I worry a lot more about random things too. After we lost Eli, I started worrying about my daughter dying. It really does affect everything.
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February 16th, 2010, 05:46 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Location: Littleton, CO
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Oh that's so sad! Awww, I just want to give him a hug.

In a way I'm glad I didn't have any other children.

But I still worry constantly, not only about my own kids but about my sister's too. Marcus is in the ER because he could barely breathe and right now my sister and I are both just worried so much and just trying to stave off anxiety.

I get so worried when my kids sleep abnormally long...unfortunately we're hypersensitive to the fact that anything can happen in a split second.
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February 16th, 2010, 05:53 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
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I don't have any other children besides Ethan and this baby, but I am definitely worried about how worried I will be when Grant finally gets here. I'm not at risk for pre-term labor or cervical incompetence or any of the zillion other things that can go wrong during pregnancy but I'm still terrified they will happen to me. When you've been on the wrong side of the statistics once, it makes you worry that you will be on the wrong side of all of the other statistics too.

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February 16th, 2010, 10:24 PM
grlpisces's Avatar Dynamite w/ a laser beam
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Well, I don't need to post about what a freak-a-zoid I am with either of my girls. Sydney slept a whole 6 hours during the night before I realized that she even did. If it weren't for the fact that I had to pee in the middle of the night, I probably wouldn't have woken up.

I went over to her and put my hand on her chest. When I didn't feel it going up high enough for my liking, I gently shook her until I saw her arms flail from the startle. Only then was I satisfied that she was still breathing; I went back to bed ... not to sleep, of course. Sleep doesn't come easy after a "scare" like that *sigh*.

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February 17th, 2010, 04:36 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
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im like that still, keeley woke up late this morning and i visioned her being dead and how id act so scary im helpless to feelings like this and its awful (()) hun

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February 17th, 2010, 07:17 AM
AliciaF's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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Originally Posted by claire1979 View Post
im like that still, keeley woke up late this morning and i visioned her being dead and how id act so scary im helpless to feelings like this and its awful (()) hun
I go through those feelings a lot lately. Not just with Cammie either. I'll envision it it with my older boys or Josh too. It's horrible.

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February 28th, 2010, 01:13 PM
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 257
My DD was 7 at the time we lost our baby. She was old enough to know what was going on, and it was really hard for her. First of all, she saw me carried out of the house in an ambulance. The paramedics managed to take the baby out of the house without her seeing them.

My DD went through a period where she would be very clingy and didn't want to leave the house, then she would wake up crying at night. Then she went though a time where she would tell random people that we lost a baby, and we had to tell her that we don't tell people about our personal pain like that.

I, personally, have had a few problems with panic attacks. I will just be sitting there and realize I start becoming tight and not breathing deeply.

Sigh! This whole darn thing is a process for everyone involved.
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