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Forum: Stillbirth


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September 24th, 2010, 02:27 PM
heathernoel's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Maitland, Florida
Posts: 9,385
Hi. I wanted to say first...I LOVE YOU! Thank you so much for helping me through the last few weeks.

I am having a tough time of it. Don't get me wrong...I ADORE my little girl. She's amazing, and I am so thankful for her. But I am mourning all over again. I'm mourning my two little boys who I will never get to mother this way. I am mourning the end of my fertility, and at times, my jealousy towards those that are pregnant or able to get pregnant is out of control.

Angel mommies are different...I love hearing the news that they are expecting. But it's been difficult hearing others' bfp stories. Why? I don't know.

I'm also raging against the tubal. Why did I listen to people? Why? None ever tell you that a tubal can screw you up. I'm 29 days out from it, and I can't turn over in bed. My bleeding is ungodly at times, and dmy depression is at an all time out of control level. But it's different than what it usually is, so we are all having to adjust to this new "Heather". I will get a tubal reversal, as 80% of those studied in a 2007 study report a reversal of their tubal symptoms. It's just going to take a whole lot of money that we just don't have right now.

Anyway, as you all know, there was a HUGE loss in my ddc. COmbined with these f* up hormones, I've been trying to stay in my comfort zone...but it's time to reach out again.
my thanks to Claire1979 for the awesome siggy!!
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September 25th, 2010, 12:45 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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awww heather i love you too hun, i hope u can get throu this hard time.

we are here if you need us x

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September 25th, 2010, 11:17 AM
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 244
oh hun, I'm so sorry you're struggling!

You know, I would think that you're mourning is normal. At least, I'm pretty sure that's how I would feel (the sadness all over again). And I know all about feeling happy about one thing and simultaneously sad about another. So if you ever want to chat about it, let me know. It's so hard.

b/g twins Logan and Ella
Logan stillborn, loved beyond measure

Journey to Logan video http://smilebox.com/playBlog/4e54597...314d673d3d0d0a
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September 25th, 2010, 12:45 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I love you honey.
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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September 25th, 2010, 03:57 PM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
Oh man, I'm really out of the loop. I'm so so sorry. Tubals are awful for a myriad of reasons... the pain was insane, and then losing a piece of you... yeah. I'm so sorry you went through that.

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
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September 26th, 2010, 09:00 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
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I loves you Heather

sorry your having a rough time
having a new little one does make you look at them a bit different and the what if's suck

i am sorry your having a rough go
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)

εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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September 26th, 2010, 01:30 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 998
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sending hugs your way

Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
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