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I am so very angry and hurt

Forum: Stillbirth


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April 11th, 2011, 03:38 AM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,056
Let me preface this for those who don't know, my oldest daughter, my very first child was born sleeping a number of years ago.

Today our two best friends drove in from Virginia. We introduced them four years ago and they are getting married this coming weekend and we are both in the wedding and so are all of the kiddos. So we were sitting around chatting and I have no idea how we even got on the subject but Dan says " I am a funeral director and I think it is morbid as hell that they have these photographers that will come take pictures of your dead baby", my supposed to be dear friend (his future wife) chimes in " that is disgusting and sick", Chris ( who isn't Makenzie's father, but has always been supportive until this moment) " ugh, who would do that?" I sat there in shock for a split second at the conversation, looked at each of them and said " I can't believe the three of you. You all know Makenzie was born sleeping and I have tons of pictures of her. How dare you judge those of us who have endured the death of our babies. Instead of a lifetime with her, I got a couple hours. I was in so much shock and completely traumatized that I am beyond grateful for the photos I have. I am ashamed and embarrassed to even acknowledge any of you right now." Then I promptly excused myself and went to bed.
I just can't believe any of that even took place, my friend Tami who is one of the few people that even remembers Makenzie's birthday, sends flowers every year, and don't even get me going on Chris. I am so hurt, I haven't slept a wink and have been in tears all night, and want nothing to do with them or their wedding at this point. I am just so pissed, hurt, etc... I just needed to vent.

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April 11th, 2011, 06:19 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
Posts: 19,417
I would have slapped them all in their ignorant faces!

that is beyond rude!!

My pictures of Rebecca are so precious and I wish I had more.

If you don't want to be in their wedding then dont - you don't have to and no one is going to make you.

Your DH is surely in the dog house!
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)

εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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April 11th, 2011, 06:58 AM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,056
He is beyond in the dog house, I moved all his clothing, toiletries, etc... into one of the other guest rooms, and I have not spoken to him and don't plan to.

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April 11th, 2011, 07:10 AM
Posts: n/a
I am still sitting here with my mouth open, shocked from reading this. Good for you for speaking your piece and then leaving. I don't know what I would have said or did, I would have totally been in shock.
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April 11th, 2011, 07:39 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
wow, i'm speechless! what a horrible, ignorant thing to say! I'm really sorry they said that to you...I don't blame you at all for not talking to any of them...That's something i'm not sure i'd ever forget...We get such a little amount of time with our babies and the only memories we have, are memories after they have already gone....We have no choice but to have pictures of them after the fact...I'm sure we would all love to have pictures of our babies alive and well rather than sleeping.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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April 11th, 2011, 07:55 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: United States
Posts: 20,689
That is simply amazing that people can be so insensitive.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
Sail Back to Me
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April 11th, 2011, 08:15 AM
Join Date: Apr 2011
Posts: 152
God bless you ((HUGS)) I am so sorry for your loss. How truly awful.

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April 11th, 2011, 01:13 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 2,095
I am shocked that they would be so inconsiderate and insensitive. Bravo on the way you handled yourself. I think I would still be sputtering.

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April 11th, 2011, 02:49 PM
austinmommy3's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 2,056
I fortunately have massive amounts of wit. It always comes out when I am pissed thank goodness! They have all been trying to kiss my butt all day, not having it!! I took myself and baby shopping and picked the others up from school and went shopping again. A-holes. Chris and I aren't married and today we were supposed to go and put him on DS2 birth certificate, because of how Texas is , he has to sign forms, etc..yeah, not doing that right now.

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April 11th, 2011, 08:55 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I don't blame you at all for saying what you did. Bravo!! Ugh, I hate it when people think that.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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April 12th, 2011, 08:50 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
I'm so sorry that you've been hurt by this.

DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12

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April 12th, 2011, 11:19 AM
Posts: n/a
There is no amount of butt kissing that can make up for what they said. Have any of them tried to apologize at all?
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April 12th, 2011, 01:09 PM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
omg, how rude, insensitive and **** right rde, so sorry hun x

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April 12th, 2011, 06:27 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,733
I'm stunned. I would have said far worse things, as I suffer from a significant loss of tact when angered.

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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