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I am sure this has been discussed (preg mentioned)

Forum: Stillbirth


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May 31st, 2011, 12:08 AM
NutMeg76's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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So, it kind of bugs me when pregnant women say they are waiting for the second trimester to announce their pregnancy. Yes, you are 'safer' then, but you never know what is going to happen.

When they persisted in questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "Let the person among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her." John 8:7
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May 31st, 2011, 06:24 AM
SarahBethsMommy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I wouldn't announce a pregnancy until I was 12 weeks along really, but not because I necessarily feel like I'm safe at that point... I just know people will start to notice then. I'd rather no one to have known until I brought home my baby, but that's not possible, you know?

It frustrates me when people think "Oh good, now I'll have a healthy baby" after only 12 weeks. I've had so many people say stuff like that to me and I usually say something like, "I'm praying that happens for you for sure!" I can't kill their innocence but it hurts that mine is gone.

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May 31st, 2011, 08:04 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
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Yeah, it really bugs me too. I mean, if you're not safe 12 days before your due date, when are you safe?

I always announce right away because I'm sickest in the first trimester so there's no keeping it hidden. People can announce whenever they want, but yeah, talking about being safe drives me up the wall.
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May 31st, 2011, 09:20 AM
Jaidynsmum's Avatar Dreams do come true....
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As they say ignorance is bliss. Oh to be ignorant again.....
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May 31st, 2011, 10:35 AM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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bugs me too...I'll never forget a facebook status (a friend of a friend) that said "14 weeks, i'm safe now".
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May 31st, 2011, 11:16 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yeah, it's irritating. "Safe" is not a word I use!

I'm like Brit, I announce it right away because I throw up constantly in my first tri and feel miserable. Plus I am always so excited after several cycles of IVF that I can't keep it to myself, heh. But that's a personal choice.

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May 31st, 2011, 12:14 PM
littlebeansmommy's Avatar Super Mommy
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I'm selective about who I tell in the first trimester, sometimes even up until that anatomy scan at 18 weeks. This time around I'm already showing and so it's a lot harder to keep it a secret. I never feel safe, and I always use the word hopefully when it comes to anything involving the baby....."hopefully the baby will come in January" etc. I get so frustrated with others too, and it hurts that others can be so carefree with announcing it when I feel I have to be so guarded.
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May 31st, 2011, 01:46 PM
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I didn't tell anyone except for immediate family because with my medical history of kidney disease, I wasn't sure how far along I would make it. It turned out it was harder that no one knew because then when I had Sara at 22 weeks, I had to explain it over and over.
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May 31st, 2011, 03:47 PM
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I wish I could go back to when I thougt things were all good at 12 weeks.

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June 2nd, 2011, 07:57 AM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I HATE people thinking they are safe!

drives me up the wall - I avoided my ddc when people hit this mark, but they were actually really good - we have a few loss mommies in there.

i was about 7 weeks or 8 weeks when I actually announced it - I wasn't going to announce till our gender scan but I was too excited not to share
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June 2nd, 2011, 09:57 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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Count me in the group that wouldn't tell a soul until I brought the baby home if I could get away with it. I don't usually tell until I absolutely have to, usually around 16 - 18 weeks. Believe it or not, there are lots of people that still don't know that I am pregnant. We've been telling people as we see them (because it is obvious), so some of our friends won't find out until we see them at a housewarming party next weekend.
As for the 'safe' comment, it does bother me because there aren't any guarantees, but what really bothers me is my jealousy. The truth is that they probably are safe, but I never will be. It makes me a bit sad sometimes. I don't begrudge them their 'safety' or their innocence, but I do envy them a bit. It's not nice, but it is the truth.

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June 2nd, 2011, 10:01 AM
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Ah yes, to still be able to have that naivety.

Laurie, how far along are you now?
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June 2nd, 2011, 10:09 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm 23 weeks, as of yesterday. I am one week out from Eva's loss point and two from Declan's.
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June 12th, 2011, 11:06 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I hate that saying as well, but more that I, too, am jealous that they are so naive they feel that way, and more than likely will have a safe, uncomplicated, healthy pregnancy where they will never need to know differently. No matter what happens with Annalise, or any other subsequent pregnancy, I will never feel "safe" until I hold my baby and she is screaming her little head off!

Annalise is hoping to be a big sister on June 28, 2014. Forever missing her big brother, Matthew, stillborn on July 1, 2010.
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