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Feeling very conflicted (pg mentioned)

Forum: Stillbirth


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July 5th, 2011, 03:46 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
I found out last week that I'm pregnant. I'm in shock! I have PCOS and I've never gotten pregnant this fast (I did have some help with medication). My DH and I haven't told anyone yet. I don't know how to feel. I thought this would make me happy. But now I'm feeling confused and like it's a betrayal to Carter, like we are replacing him. My due date for Carter is in a couple of weeks, and I feel like he's been forgotten. I'm so happy about this new baby, but I'm having a hard time celebrating.

DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12

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July 5th, 2011, 03:54 PM
Fluffy Baby's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: SW FL
Posts: 8,785
**hugs** I got preggo 4 months after I had Dominic. It is hard. **hugs**
Leann <3 Hector
My trio: Alyssa 7, Tristan 4.75, Gavin 1.5

I am a mixture of all that and a bag of chips... IJS

Rest In Peace Jennifer <3

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July 5th, 2011, 04:45 PM
Ben,Logan&Kaitlin'sMommy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Beaverbank, Nova Scotia
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((HUGS)) congrats on your pregnancy
you are not letting Carter down -
you aren't replacing him!
Marsha's Girlfriend

My Kiddos
Chloe (14),
Benjamin (9)
Logan (6), Kaitlin (3)

εϊз Some People Dream of Angels But I Held One In My Arms εϊз
Rebecca Lee Stillborn 10-30-03
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July 5th, 2011, 11:15 PM
Posts: n/a
All those conflicting emotions are hard to deal with. I got pregnant with Isaac a little less than 3 months after Eli was stillborn.....Isaac's due date was on Eli's birthday. You could never replace Carter and you will never forget him. He will always be a part of your life. It's okay to be happy and excited about this new baby, Carter would want you to be.
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July 6th, 2011, 07:09 AM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I got pregnant with Erin 5 months after Cora was born, and while it would have been physically possible to have them both since Cora was full term, I would have been nursing and probably not ovulating.

I think we all feel these conflicting emotions. Honestly? I was sort of an emotional zombie through my pregnancy with Erin. I don't remember much of it really at all. I felt that same way, like getting pregnant so quickly was betraying Cora, but I just wanted a baby to hold so badly.

Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

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July 6th, 2011, 01:21 PM
MeganMomof5's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 11,772
Congrats on your pregnancy!!

I think what your feeling is very normal...I felt the same way everytime I got pregnant after Ella's death...I think it gets easier over time.
Forever Missing My Baby Girl Ella Grace
Born Sleeping October 14, 2009

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July 6th, 2011, 07:25 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 592
Oh sweetie, congrats! I can't imagine how you must be feeling. We're WTTC but I think about getting pregnant again all the time. I tell Mary that it's only because we were looking forward to knowing her so much and she made us so happy when I was pregnant. I don't know much, but I don't think Carter would want his legacy to be that you never tried again if another baby in your arms is what you want.

Remembering Carter with you.

Mary Elizabeth stillborn at 26 weeks

Last edited by ChristyRVT; July 6th, 2011 at 07:27 PM.
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July 9th, 2011, 06:56 PM
HopefulMommy81's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: California
Posts: 5,640
First off,
I can completely relate. Matthew was born at 23w1d, and we got pregnant with Annalise 5 months later. Matthew was due October 27th, so if Matthew had been full term, Annalise would not be conceived. I have had a hard time with so many emotions during this pregnancy, and I wish I had some miracle cure for it, or some great advice, but unfortunately, I don't It's something you have to just deal with on your own, in your own way. Personally, I go to a support group for those in a subsequent pregnancy after a loss and it is wonderful. Just remember that you had no control over losing Carter and you are not replacing him, but want to honor him by giving him a little brother/sister and sharing the love you have for him with another little boy/girl. And, if you need anything, I'm here! PM me anytime

Annalise is hoping to be a big sister on June 28, 2014. Forever missing her big brother, Matthew, stillborn on July 1, 2010.
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July 9th, 2011, 07:13 PM
rebeccabaltimore and more's Avatar (rebeccabaltimore)
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 1,732
You know, when the doctor called to tell me I was pregnant with Grant, I wept with joy. Just kidding, I had a 3 hour long panic attack.

Congrats, and don't worry, it's weird for all of us!

Thank you Vicki for my awesome siggy!!

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July 15th, 2011, 09:17 PM
Jessido's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 2,210
I dont post here often but I just wanted to reply.

I'm sorry you're feeling conflicted. I also felt that way about TTC before July was over (though we arent pg yet) but we just have to do what we have to do. Hopefully it will get easier with time.

Avery. 4/11
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July 20th, 2011, 10:14 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
Thank you all for your words of support.

DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12

Make a pregnancy ticker
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