Log In Sign Up

Difficult Marriage after loss...

Forum: Stillbirth


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Stillbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
July 22nd, 2011, 09:48 PM
liza17's Avatar Regular
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: mn
Posts: 98
Does everyones marriage seem to get worse after grief or just mine?

I am constantly thinking of divorce and dont want to make a mistake because Im still depressed at times over losing my baby... Everything my husband does just makes me sad and I want to leave. He is an alcoholic and admits it saying he is what he is and if I dont like it I can leave. I dont know how much more I can take. The love is gone...But I was raised in a family that doesnt believe in divorce. I just wish I never started a life with him. Sometimes things are good in our relationship for months but as soon as he starts drinking I hate him. I really want a seperation for a month to see if anything will get better. But I feel like during a seperation he will mess up our family to a point of no return.

So Im wondering if every little thing upsets me because of my loss or is this how its going to be forever??Am I ever going to be happy again?

Last edited by liza17; July 28th, 2011 at 09:27 PM.
Reply With Quote
July 23rd, 2011, 11:15 PM
Brittanie's Avatar just me
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
Posts: 43,573
I think the bigger issue here is your husband's alcoholism. Was he before your loss?

You need to protect yourself. Alcoholism is dangerous to mess with. And MOST of all...it's not you messing up this relationship. It's him and his addiction. Please don't blame yourself. If he's not willing to try to fix his issue, then nothing you can do can make the situation tolerable. Don't let your family be the reason you stay in a situation that isn't good for you. You deserve to be happy and if he's not willing to go to the moon and back to give that to you...then maybe you'd be better off somewhere else.

Thanks to babydoll213 for the siggy! My kids' blog Cora's blog

Reply With Quote
July 24th, 2011, 09:42 AM
lunarmagic's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: MA
Posts: 4,037
I agree with Brittanie. A loss can stress a relationship, sure, but Alchoholism hurts many many marriages. He has a problem. I'd be concerned with statements like, "This is who I am and if you don't like it, leave." If he doesn't recognize that he has a problem then it's not something you can fix. And you shouldn't have to live with that. Can you talk to him about counseling?

2 IVF babies and 1 surprise!
~*~ My Blog ~*~
Reply With Quote
September 2nd, 2011, 11:57 PM
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 25
I think you should just think about your self and take decision in just about your self.
Pregnancy Miracle
Reply With Quote
September 10th, 2011, 10:03 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 1,585
I totally agree with the previous replies. Our loss has at times has brought us closer together, but also brought us struggles. I hope you can find some help.

DD Brooklynn 8-4-01
DD Libby 6-18-04
DS Gavin 8-20-08
DS Carter born still 3-2-11 (20 weeks)
It's a GIRL!!! EDD 3-6-12

Make a pregnancy ticker
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:50 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0