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I need to be pregnant again!

Forum: Stillbirth


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November 2nd, 2011, 06:49 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
Hi guys,

I'm so frustrated right now. My husband seriously doesn't understand. I looked forward to be pregnant for so long and having a baby. My baby, Mychael, died October 17th. I feel so empty right now. I went to the doctor today and my blood pressure is still high. Not nearly as high as when I was in the hospital for a week but still high. The doctor says I need to wait @ least 6 months (if not longer he adds) to start trying. I wish I hadn't told my husband about this doctors appointment because I didn't want him to hear that! He's so worried that we'll experience preeclampsia and hellp syndrome again. There are no guarantees that we will or won't. But, I'm convinced we'll have a much healthier pregnancy because doctors will be doing their job. My doctors were very negligent during my pregnancy. I am trying to tell myself to be patient, get myself back into good health, and worry about trying again later but I just can't. I have to try again soon. I just feel the need to be pregnant right away. Is this normal? Anyone else experienced such strong desires to be pregnant again so soon? I think it's normal because I didn't get a chance to be pregnant past 23 weeks. I was just starting to get used to it. And, my baby died. I didn't get a precious baby! Thanks for letting me vent.
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November 2nd, 2011, 09:16 PM
FL Mama's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: FLA USA
Posts: 1,100
I didn't experience the same things you did, but I, too, feel the need to be pregnant again...NOW!! It's so hard waiting. I delivered 2 weeks ago which means I'm still on vaginal restriction for another month. And after that, I don't know what my doctor recommends because I can't get the doc's office to even call me back for my follow-up appt. UGH!! I just keep thinking, I was supposed to be pregnant, I want to be pregnant, I SHOULD be pregnant. We will start trying again as soon as the doc clears us, but the wait is so hard. I want it NOW!!

Noah Joseph - 8/22/03
Jonah Thomas - 9/29/05
Patricia Carryl - Due 8/23/13

Missing my Heavenly Babies - 10/28/04 - 14wks & Baby Born Still - 10/18/11 - 17wks

Last edited by FL Mama; November 2nd, 2011 at 09:17 PM. Reason: spelling
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November 3rd, 2011, 09:20 AM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
I think that's what it is for me. . . I was supposed to still be pregnant so I want to right now. Lol. I delivered 2 weeks ago also so I'm on vaginal restriction. I'm just so pissed off. Not only can I not get pregnant because I'm not healed physically but I can't even have sex with my husband. AND, my baby died. This is just so horrible. I do think things are getting better day by day. I just keep waking up, going to work, trying to cope, and hoping things will get back to normal eventually. Hopefully 6 months rolls around really quickly.
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November 3rd, 2011, 09:37 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
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things will get easier hun, i dont think i ve know on angel mummy not feel they needed to be pregnant very soon after delivery. hugs

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November 3rd, 2011, 12:42 PM
BlessednHighlyFavored's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 7,296
I feel that way. I felt bad for thinking that while I was still in the hospital. I thought I was o.k. with waiting 6 months but I can't do it. It has been 2 months for me and dh and I are not trying not preventing and will be actively trying in Jan. Just wanted to offer hugs and let you know you are not alone.

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November 3rd, 2011, 12:48 PM
EmG EmG is offline
Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: Reno, NV
Posts: 767
I felt the same way you did afterwards.

It may take awhile for your blood pressure to come down. It took me four months to get off three of my blood pressure meds after my HELLP syndrome. Make sure you get an opinion from a high risk OB doctor that has dealt with people with lupus. They can get you started on the right track.
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November 3rd, 2011, 02:46 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
miraclebaby. . . i too felt baby because it hadn't been days and i was already thinking i needed to be pregnant right away. at first, i was so scared thinking there's no way i can do it again because i was so sick. i wasn't thinking of replacing my mychael, i just wanted to be pregnant right away and finally have my precious baby. i just got my husband to agree to trying to get pregnant once my blood pressure has been normal for a while and not 6 months.

emg. . . i hope it doesn't take too long. i'm on 60 mg of procardia and 1200 mg of labetelol! and it's still not normal. ugh! i pray it goes down soon. as soon as my bp is normal, my doctor says he will give me a referral for maternal fetal medicine. i will make sure the doctor i deal with knows about preeclampsia, hellp, and lupus. thanks.
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November 14th, 2011, 01:18 PM
dydy's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 1,301
i lost my first baby at 20 weeks to anencyphaly and i never felt so empty in all my life . I also had to wait 6mts , if it was up to me i wnated a baby there and then but i had to wait so i understand how you feel. I felt mad at the word and why others had babies and mine had to die but i tried to occupy my time with something or else i would have gone mad . So what i did was i enrolled in a course (something that i really enjoyed) , to be honest i did not give it 100% of my comitment but it helped a little so my only advise is if the doc told you to wait , wait but try to occupy your time with something i know it is hard .
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November 14th, 2011, 05:13 PM
Super Mommy
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: michigan
Posts: 533
dydy. . . thanks so much for the advice. it really helps coming here and talking to people who truly understand. i can't even have sex so there's no way i'll be pregnant rigth away. lol. i keep trying to force my husband to be naughty but he's the smart one right now. rational and reasonable, i should say. i know i need to wait. that's what my mind tells me. but the ache in my heart tells me i need to be pregnant. i just keep thinking, i didn't even fully experience pregnancy. i was just starting to show. ugh. i am mad. mad @ the doctors and just mad in general that my baby died. i'm mad that i'm still sick. i still have really high blood pressure and i'm on the maximum dosage. i will do as you suggest. i need to just stay busy and make sure i continue to live my life. i've been doing good so far. my family, friends, and husband have been awesome. i feel for you as i know exactly what you are going through. hugs!
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