Log In Sign Up

recent stillbirth

Forum: Stillbirth


Welcome to the JustMommies Message Boards.

We pride ourselves on having the friendliest and most welcoming forums for moms and moms to be! Please take a moment and register for free so you can be a part of our growing community of mothers. If you have any problems registering please drop an email to [email protected].

Our community is moderated by our moderation team so you won't see spam or offensive messages posted on our forums. Each of our message boards is hosted by JustMommies hosts, whose names are listed at the top each board. We hope you find our message boards friendly, helpful, and fun to be on!

Reply Post New Topic
  Subscribe To Stillbirth LinkBack Topic Tools Search this Topic Display Modes
October 21st, 2013, 09:53 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: murfreesboro tn
Posts: 2
Hi everyone.
I've never been on a forum or posted anything before but I thought.....why not. I am a 29 year old female and had my little girl stillborn on Oct 7th. She had gastroschisis so the docs had told me it was always a chance. Her little heart just stopped I went to er when I noticed she wasnt moving anymore. Oh and I was 31 weeks. She was 2lbs 1 oz and 14 inches long. Long toes like me . I just felt like I needed to talk and hear from people I have a very supportive family and loving caring boyfriend....guess I shouldn't have complaints.....but sometimes it is easier to talk to people who aren't so close to the situation. Plus I needed to hear from others who have been thru this I'm hoping it will help. I am in an extremely angry phase right now and can't figure out how to get out. I have even considered breaking up with my bf. I'm so mad at him and pretty much anyone who is pregnant right now.....it just feels so unfair and I don't understand anything anymore. This was my 1 st pregnancy as far as I knew and we had named her Abigail Grace. Please I would like to hear from anyone who has endured this....I need to reach out to someone....thank you guys.
Reply With Quote
October 22nd, 2013, 07:45 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
Send a message via MSN to claire1979
Hi there, my name is Claire i'm co host here.
I am so sorry to read that Abigail was stillborn, surely the most devastating of things to happen and undeniably one of the most difficult things to bear. The emotional pain of having to say goodbye so soon after birth to the baby you loved must be have been very hard for you and your family. I can see you’re feeling angry, this is a very normal response to what you’ve been through, the anger, looking for someone or something to blame and the sheer disbelief – all very painful. In my experience i put a memory box together, (did they give you one at the hospital?) and i filled it with the personal things i gathered when i was pregnant and i find comfort in the days, weeks and months to come by keep looking and treasuring them. Did the hospital give you hand and footprints? A lock of her hair? – all tangible things that you can hold to your heart when in pain during the many dark days ahead. The physical and emotional loneliness can be very hard to bear. I know I can’t make it better and can’t take the pain away but I want you to know that i've been there, the unimaginable pain one goes through when losing a child. It was 8.5 years ago for me and it does get easier hun, you will never get over it and don't let anyone tell you you will or you should. The pain becomes easier to bare. I still have my bad days even now. The good days are a lot more than the bad. Its all still very raw for you hun.
I lost Jessica through still birth also, her cord was also wrapped round her neck, 3 times. I went for a scan on the friday and she was absolutely fine, 3 days later she was gone.

Reply With Quote
October 26th, 2013, 11:34 AM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: murfreesboro tn
Posts: 2
Thank u so much Claire. I do have a memory box for her that a friend made for me and I've filled it with her hand and footprints..ashes...ultrasound photos etc. I'm so sorry for ur loss as well. I don't feel as angry now a couple of days ago I finally broke down hard and screamed and cried for hours it felt like. I think I have to start facing it more head on which is so incredibly hard but I'm trying. U don't know how much it helped me just to read how uve been thru it and are still coping....I imagine its something that's always gonna be in the back of my mind. Thank u again Claire I will keep my head up and heart open as u have.
Reply With Quote
October 27th, 2013, 06:14 AM
claire1979's Avatar mummy to a special angel
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: huddersfield, england
Posts: 33,629
Send a message via MSN to claire1979
The journey has been hard and long, the bad days far weighed the good in the early months. I was a complete wreck. The pain does ease in time, and time is the key hun don't rush your grieving process. ((()))

Reply With Quote
January 4th, 2014, 08:43 PM
liz bevan's Avatar Super Mommy
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Edmonton, AB
Posts: 998
Send a message via AIM to liz bevan Send a message via MSN to liz bevan
I am so sorry for your loss.
We experienced our loss with our first born
I do understand how angry you must be
I was angry for a very long time
This road has been a very long and hard road.

As time goes by the hurt lessens, but never goes away
One suggestion i would make is if there is a walk to remember in your area, try to attend. We try to go every year.
This event is a great way to celebrate the life of your little one

Thank you so much for the awesome siggie Claire
Our joys will be greater
Our love will be deeper
Our lives will be fuller
Because we shared your moment
Reply With Quote
January 6th, 2014, 12:52 PM
Rainbow Momma's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Kansa City, MO
Posts: 2,005
hello, i am sooo sorry for your loss. It is very natural to feel angry and you might for a while, its a kind of way of grieving. I know i went through a mad stage and every baby or pregnant woman i saw i cried or thought to myself "what did she do or can do that i cant" even cried throgh diaper commercials. It is a very normal feeling and i know you're probably tired of hearing this but it will get better, although it may not seem like it now, it just takes time. You work through it how you would like and dont let anybody tell you you're doing it wrong, they have no idea the emotions you are feeling right now.
Amanda, patner to Angel
TTC our first!!
Birth mom to Macie 2/19/06
Mom to Ryden, Angel in Heavan 5/21/10

Reply With Quote
July 2nd, 2015, 09:11 PM
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 2
Hi ladies, My name is james. Im looking for a mother who was herself born with gastroschisis. The love of my life was born with this condition and we are having some trouble with conceiving but what she really wants to know is how the pregnancy belly looks on women who have had this defect. She is a little shy about it and not very tech inclined and i thought one of you would speak to her if i got you two in contact. I love her very much and want to help her put any questions or fears to bed. Kelley.j.b at gmail is my email Please write me and i will get you in contact with my beautiful tiffany. Thank you SO much in advance!!!!!!
Reply With Quote

Topic Tools Search this Topic
Search this Topic:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 07:26 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0